Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 82, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 April 1913 — Page 2

Tales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

Wins by Pen; Voice Loses; Refused a License

NEW YORK/—Harry Segal of 10? East 115th street Is living prdof of the accepted theory that most men who wield a fadle pen do not express their views so well orally and that the extemporaneous speaker is not always a literary success. Segal Is a plumber, and he did well In the written examination before the examining board of plumbers for his •ertificate of competency. But there were seven other candidates who did exactly as well as Segal; in fact, In the same language, which caused the board to Investigate. The result was that they and the commissioners of accounts, who took part in the investigation, believed fraud had been perpetrated by the eight whose answers to the questions were the same. It was decided that either some one had Impersonated Segal or else >he had a list of the questions asked him before the examination. The certifi-

Mare Tries Suicide; Fire Tug Has Narrow Escape

CLEVELAND, O. —A small, black, untamed mare, fresh from the •wilds of Arkansas, jumped in the river across from the life-saving station, after being unloaded from a box car at the foot of W. 9th street early the other morning. > In effecting the horse’s rescue the flretug Clevelander, struck a log which etove in a hole about a foot square on the starboard side below the water line, and the boat nearly sank before it could be tied up In a shallow spot in the Sycamore slip. ’ Hugh O’Neil, to whom the consignment of wild horses was made, received a kick in the stomach when he, together with Captain James Nimmo, of the Clevelander, three of his crew and Captain Hansen of the life-saving crew, attempted to lead the animal over the concrete plere to shore. When released from the car the animal broke away from the others and ran through the railroad yards, out past the freight houses on the river front to a point near the customs office and opposite the life saving station. Hesitating only a moment, she lumped to the ice and skated about ten or fifteen minutes, apparently enjoying the experience. The mare’s unfamiliarity with so large an ex-

Brave Bulldog Captures a Supposed Safe Blower

CHICAGO. —A dog the other night captured a youth supposed to be a member of a band of safeblowers find held him until the police arrived to take him into custody. While only a volunteer aid to the overworked police department, the bulldog took hold of things when they got beyond the grasp of Detective Sergeants Mullin and Burns. So careful was he that his prisoner should not escape that it required all the persuasive power of the two policemen, two other members of the band to which the youth is supposed to belong and the prisoner himself to effect his transfer to the arms of the law. Then a Weak spot in the things the dpg took hold of when they got beyond the grasp of the detectives

Bees Brimming With Energy Give Grocer Worry

PITTSBURG, Pa.—There is a grocer In the East End who knows the answer to the question, “How doth the little busy bee?” What he doesn’t know is just what to do when the bees get busy. The industrious little critters own one complete window section of his store. They are feeding on his sugar, sampling his candy, profiting by his figs and mixing up his dates; and now they are about ready to start a hive. It all began when an eastern firm made arrangements with the grocer to give a demonstration of the making of honey. With a pretty girl and a bunch of Industrious bees the demonstration was bound to be a success.. The gtrl arrived, and she was according to specifications. The bees an rived, by parcel post, and everything was ready for the big advertising stunt. Then Fate butted In and broke the cute .little glass house the bees inInstantly the honeymakers started out on a foraging expedition. There was nothing In the store they didn't ■AID DIS.

cate granted to Segal was revoked. Segal was called on when the board first became suspicious to repeat orally some of the things he wrote in his firsit examination. First he was asked about certain words that appeared on his examination paper. Diameter appeared as “diametar” in the original examination, and on the oral try Segal spelled it “deamete.” Friction, which he got right the -first time, appeared the second time as “fricksen." Circulation he spelled “cerkoelsen.” Segal explained that his answers to questions were based on his reading books on the subject. An examiner of the examining board of plumb ers looked over the books, but could find nothing that related to the sub ject on which Segal was examined. Here are some of the questions put to Segal by the commissioners of accounts and his answers. “What is the action of a suction pump?* “It is known as a pump that takes water from the cellar to the top floor.” “What is a receptacle?" “It is like a receptic.” “What does impede mean?” “Impedes is a thing like—l can’t r* member.” “What is a pump?"— “I don’t remember.”

panse of ice proved her undoing. She got near the edge and it broke, throwing her into the water. • The men on shore called for the firetug, which steamed down the river and broke a channel through the lee, from the horse to a concrete runway leading up to the life saving station. For an hour and fifteen minutes she swam about in the cold water, resting her nose on cakes of ice when tired. Considering that it was probably her first swimming lesson, and that under untoward conditions, she proved herself an Annette Kellerman among horses. She displayed an unreasonable desire to swim in the general direction of ’Canada. Having opened up a channel the crew of the tug lassoed her and towed her across. She walked up the runway and shook herself, seemingly grateful for being saved.

was largely responsible for the transfer. The dog kept the weak spot. The detectives arrested three' young men, Michael Meffl, 18 years old; Joseph Missina, 22 years old, and William Pisano, 18 years old, at 18th and State streets. They started toward the loop with them on a State street car. At 16th street Pisano leaped from the car and ran toward the lake. Forcing their other two captives ahead •of them, the detectives followed, but Pisano, unhampered, easily outdistanced them and disappeared in yard at 16th street and the Illinois Central tracks. It was here that the dog became Interested. He resented Pisano’s intrusion upon his undivided occupancf of the yard, but once he grasped things beyond the officers, he held on. Pisano’s pries attracted the panting minions of the law and the struggle for his transfer began. Mullin and Burns failed to learn the address of the owner of the dog. They did not have time. He transferred his dislike when he was forced to transfer bls prisoner, and took no trouble to conceal that fact.

"Shut the door! Shut the door!” cried the demonstrator, "er they'll get out’’ "All right; honey,” replied a grocery clerk, forgetting himself In his excitement But the stout woman customer waxed hot when she was urged to “shoo” them. "I’d rather slipper 'em," she declared. But everybody else "shooed,” and by and by the bees were corralled in the window section and the section door shut. The perplexed demonstrator wired east for Instructions, in the meantime the bees held the fort “Stung!” says the grocer.

Oddity of the Ornaments Marks Millinery Just Now

While the Question Mark and Bulgarian colors occupy the center of the millinery stage, feather manufacturers have taken advantage of their popularity. There is really no end to <he number of small, brilliant and curious novelties and odd feather pieces. They are pretty, and one might almost call some of them amusing. They stand up with a saucy air on the small close-fitting shapes for spring. f' Besides the question mark there is a class of decorative pieces made of feathers (and often of other millinery material's) called the Mephisto ornaments. Long, slender, curving quills or ribs of quills without any pretentions to beauty, which suggest the antennae of a butterfly, or fine, incisive horns. Nature provides such ad-

SKIRT MUST HAVE FULLNESS

Extraordinarily Tight Garments Soon to Be Decidedly Out of the Realm of Fashion. The most graceful frocks are those in which they use no straight lines, but “hanging draperies,” as the artist describes them, and the newest of new fashions show that all “tightness” is to be banned. Evening frocks will perhaps remain tight round the ankles, but our modistes may yet allow one a little more freedom. “Tight” skirts have had their day, and a very long day, too. One writer, discussing the question, puts it very neatly in pointing out that “the only way out of the difficulty is to give the necessary freedom to the skirts to the extent of some ten or twelve inches, and thus allowing the wearer to avoid those mincing little steps which can never be anything but ridiculously ungraceful. A novelty in camisoles has made its appearance. It has been introduced specially to wear under the filmy corsage worn with all smart toilets for the daytime and evening and is made of net with a broad band of ribbon round the body, tied in a large bow at the side or in the center of the front. As a matter of fact, it is quite as pretty as a blouse, and so makes a splendid foundation for a fragile corsage.

New Wares.

Nickel silver is the newest in plated ware for the table and it not only wears well but is pretty to look upon. An asparagus dish in this ware is very new and novel. It has a ribbed section for the asparagus ends, as well as one sauce cup at each end of the dish, which is shaped like a tray. A salad set contains two cruets, three little bottles for salt and two kinds of pepper, and a bowl for mixing the dressing at the table is another novelty. An oblong water tray with six tumblers set into nickel silver rims is new and attractive. The middle part of the handle is wicker. •

Hats Like Handboxes.

There is another hat In fashion which looks like notnlng so much as a doll’s handbox. It is of satin crinoline lining wltli its seams piped. Sometimes there is a tiny little brim that resembles the one on a man’s silk hat, and again there is only a stiff band of the material, ending in a pump bow at the side. Straw hats take on these shapes, as do those of brocade and metal cloth. Both of the latter materials will be used for dressy afternoon hats, while satin, like straw, will be worn at all hours.

Like Darning.

If you wish to embroider silk stockings, try the following plan instead of using an embroidery hoop. Place your darning ball inside the stocking and hold it as though you were going to darn, save that you should be very careful not to stretch the stocking; ■imply hold It smooth over the darner where you are to d 6 the embroidery. —Needlecraft.

For Guest Room.

A . small square cushion, which should be especially nice for a guest room, is covered with blue silk, and over this a filet lace cover of white is drawn. This dainty little bit of blue and white is then supplied with blue and white headed pins, neatly arranged, all ready for the guest’s use.

ditions to plumage; their long, hard fibers, curling at the ends, appear among the beautiful, soft feathers of the bird of paradise. 2 Besides these odd ornaments there is a great liking for the queer plumage called humidi. It is long and straggling and dyed into many colorings and shadings. The original color, in a dark taupe, is very rich. It combines with coque de roche with fine effect. There is a great demand for it, which promises to become greater. Its price is soaring. But in a season when flowers are as well liked as feathers and when every day brings out some novelty of note, it is not safe to predict that any one item will outshine all the others. JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

CHIEFLY FOR THE YOUTHFUL

Tam O’Shanter Hat Has All Its Old Popularity, but Many Must Not Wear It. Probably the most popular spring hats for the young girl and youthful matron will be the Tam o’Shanter. It has been wprming Jtself into the good graces of femininity all through the winter. The athletic will wear it in knitted wool, or very light peanut straw, and the girlie girl will dope it up with roses as pink as her cheeks, and some of them will even place a lace frill on the inside to fall over their faces, and shade the sparkle of their eyes. There never was a hat made that could be more rakish or coquettish than a Tam o’Shanter. But under no condition can it be dignified; therefore, women over 30, beware! The Tam reflects the mood of every girl who wears it, and if it becomes as popular as fashion designers seem to think it Will, you won’t haVe to look into your sweetheart’s eyes, young man, to find out if she loves yop. You will only have to tip off the angle at which she wears her Tam o’Shanter.

NEW SPRING GOWN

Spring gown of red moire with blue taffeta belt and corsage of pink beaded net. The color combinations make this costume very striking.

GOOD JOKES

NO ANSWER.

It was scarcely half-past nine when the rather flerce-looking father of the girl entered ttm parlor where the timid lover was courting her. The father had his watch in., his hand. “Young man,” he said brusquely, “do you know what time it is?” “Y-y-ye-s, sir,” stuttered the frightened lover, as he scrambled into the hall; “I—l was just going to leave!” After the beau had made a rapid exit, the father turned to the girl and said in astonishment: “What was the matter with that fellow? My watch has run down, and I simply wanted to know the time.” — Lippincott’s. ; “~

Perils of Politeness.

“It always pays to say ‘Thank you,’ ” pronounced the habitual homely moralist. “1 doubt it,” came back the experienced pessimist. tr - » now can you doubt such a thing?” “Well, I met a man yesterday who always said ‘Thank you’ and he almost lost his job by it.” ’“Who was he?” ___ “A street car conductor. When he said ‘Thank you,’ it gave the passengers the impression that he Intended to pocket the fare. They reported him.”

VALUABLE HELP.

“I understand that your wife collaborates with you?” "Yes, her work aids me immensely.” “I don’t believe I have ever seen any of her writings.” -< “She doesn’t write; she prepares my meals.”

Politely Wicked.

A bold bad man Exclaimed, “Hip! Hip!” Each time he saw The chorus trip.

Well Named.

A retired naval officer passed a week end at Magnolia, Mass., where he wearied a circle of newly made friends by his never ending prattle of colorless reminiscences. After he had retired for the night a judge advocate who had known him for some years remarked to the group: "We call him the thirfeen-inch gun.” “Why?’ asked a lady from the west. “Well, madam, he Is as big a bore as we ever had in the navy.”

Poor Ireland.

"There’s ja difference In time, you know, between this country and Europe,” said a man In New York to a newly-arrived Irishman. “For instance, your friends in Cork are in bed and fast asleep by this time, while we are enjoying ourselves in the early evening.” "That's always the way,” exclaimed Pat. “Ireland niver got justice yit.”

Proof of True Love.

“You’d better marry Mr. Ezymut,” counseled the fond papa. ‘Do you think he truly loves me?” asked the pretty daughter. “I’m sure he does.” •‘How can you be sure when I am not?” “I’ve been borrowing money from him for three months, and he keeps coming.”

Had Heard Them.

“They tell me that your small boy says some unusually clever things.” “Yes, yes. Did you hear his latest?" “Sure.” “Why, you never met him." "True; but I’ve met a lot of doting fathers who invariably tell the same old tales.” x

So It Goes.

"Everything works In a circle In this world. One thing seems to compensate for another, so to speak.” “How, now?” “They made a college professor president. Now they are talking of. making the president a college professor.”

Pleasing to Papa.

Wife (to her husband aa she goes out) —"Now. look after the children. ,Don’t let them play with matches or make any noise.” (To the children): “And you—watch papa. Don’t let him go to the saloon!" —Fliegepde Blaetter (Munich).

One at a Time.

“The head of the Krupp steel works has 65,000 "Nothing to brag of,” opined the housewife. "I’ve had that many in my kitchen, but not all at once.”.

HIS CHOICE.

• Mamma —Jimmie, your little brother: has the smaller apple. Did you give him his choice? Jimmie —Yes’m. I told him he could take his choice —the little one or none; —and so he took the little one.

Not One.

No man e’er sought The heights sublime. Whose only thought Was killing time.

His Inference.

Lecturer —All statistics prove that the blonde woman is more difficult to get alongwith thah the brunette. Astonished Man In the Audience (starting up)—Are you certain of that fact? Lecturer—lt is a fact. Astonished Man —Then I believe my wife’s black hair is dyed.

Bearing Burdens.

"Where have you been, Mary Ann?" ’T’ve been to the Girls’ Improvement class, md’am,” was) the maid’s reply. . “Well, what did the curate say to you? Did you tell him who your mistress was?” ' “Please, ma’am,.he said I wasn’t to give notice, as I intended, but that I was to consider you as my burden — and bear It.” —Tit-Bits.

Business Forms.

“Do you really love me?” she wrote. “Referring to my last letter,” ha promptly replied, “you will find that I love you devotedly on page 1, madly on page 3, and passionately an-page* 4 and 5.”

TRUTHFUL.

Miss Askltt —Doctor, is it dangerous to the brain to bleach one’s hair? Dr. Emdee —Yes; it’s likely to make. one light-headed.

Her Number.

Twinkle, twinkle little star. Young and fair you seem to be. Yet, I chance to know you are Very . close on forty-three.

Ideal Match.

* Pecunious Father—So you dare to say you are an ideal match for my daughter? Impecunious _Youth —I A do, indeed, sir! Pecunious Father —Why, you have never earned a dollar in your life. Impecunious Youth—Neither has she.

She Came Back.

Pretty Waitress —What makes you look so miserable, sir? Customer —Why, to tell you the truth, the wife ran away last night. Pretty Waitress—l shouldn’t take on about that if I were you. Customer—l don’t; but she came back again this morning.

Wider Field.

What has become of that bill collector you used to have?” "He’s not her any more.” "I didn’t think you would ever let him go. He was too good at getting the coin.” I r He was good at getting mohey out of people. So good that a big college elected him president.”

Not a Hopeful Outlook.

"Well, you have one consolation, even if it is costing you a lot to have your son -educated. In a little while he will be able to get along without your help.” * . “No, that’s what’s worrying me. You see, he’s going to be a preacher.”

Rather Fresh.

Joe —For my parti I think women are the salt of the earth. Mae—Guess you’re right, when you consider the number of men they have driven to drink.