Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 February 1913 — Page 2

TALLS OF GOTHAM AND OTHER CITIES

Held Up, Whips Eleven! Proof? Black Eyes!

NEW YORK.—*! can see right now that It wasn’t your fault,” said Magistrate Appleton, when Julius Hinderks faced him In the West side court the other day. “But lam curious to know Just how you got your face so badly disarranged.” ’ - ; Hinderks was somewhat mussed up. Both of his eyes were supported from beneath by large black patches like the map of Great Peconic bay. “It was a hold-up,” he said, f “Where were you held up?” asked the magistrate. “All oyer town. Tm sorry I killed the big fellow; I didn’t mean to do it, fcnd I’ll apologize if that’ll help any.” “Did he kill some one, too?” asked Magistrate Appleton. “I don’t see it In the affidavit” “Naw,” said Policeman Fitzgerald. f “He swung on a guy over in front of Cuneo’B place, but missed him by three feet It took three of us to get him back on his pins.

Gay Marriage Party Mistaken for Bold Hold-Up

ST. LOUIS. —A preacher of a St. Louis church who was a willing party In assisting a couple to launch on the sea of matrimony, came near foundering the ship and steering it on a shoal in such a way that would hare requited much tact and ability to bring about a rescue. Two people came to him the other day and expressed the desire to receive the life sentence. The pastor, very willing, was about to commence the ceremony, when, glancing at the license, he noticed that it had been issued in Illinois. The pastor took pity on the couple and straightway thought of a scheme. “Come on,” he said. “We will take the East St. Louis car, cross the bridge and the ceremony will be performed on the river banks on the other side.” So, togther with two servants as witnesses, the marriage party boarded a street car for downtown and transferred on the one going across the bridge. When they reached the east side of the river all got off, walked a few feet from the car tracks and made ready for the ceremany. All went smoothly. The bride had blushlngly replied, “I do” to the usual

Peculiar Way in Which Wong Gue Was Trimmed

SAN FRANCISCO. —Wayß that are dark and tricks that are vain were abundantly typified in Chinatown the other night in an episode in which figured guns, tribute money, smuggled opium and a white man, who either was hired to pose as a customs officer, or, being one, accepted a bribe of 1120. Wong Guo arrived from Fresno at nine o'clock and went to the rooms of K. C. Lee, a wealthy retired Chinese merchant. Wong carried a suit case which he said contained opium and asked permission to rest a while. Hardly had he seated himself when a white man entered, announced that he was a customs inspector, and arrested Wong. Negotiations for his release culminated in the departure of

Court Dignity Limbered by Quacks and Squawks

PITTSntJRG, Pa. —The quacking of a duck and the squawking of a chicken completely limbered the dignity and shocked the solemnity of Criminal court the other day, when the fowls were offered as exhibits in the case of John Kowalczyk of Whitaker, who accused Mike Lukacs of robbing his coops. Kowalczyk had brought the fowls in a basket and they remained in the court room the greater part of the session. The duck would “quack" freely, especially when witnesses were being sworn. Once, when Judge Marshall Brown wa» beginning with much gravity his charge to the jury, the duck reached out his long yellow' bill and caught the chicken by the neck. The court room immediately resounded with a series of piercing squawks. Judge Brown was seized with violent coughing; the jurors covered their faces, and someone back in the court room exploded Into a “Ha. Ha!" “Order! Order!" cried a tipstaff. . The case was tried In another room. before Judge Thomas D. Carnahan.

“I tell you it was a hold up. They took my money, and never gave me a chance.” “How much did they get?” , Hinderks consulted a scrap of paper for a few seconds, and replied: “$48,294.36. I had it in my Inside pocket here.” • - “Where’d you get it? Was it your week’s pay?” “It was my earningß for a whole month. Now its gone. Judge, how would you like to lose $48,294.36 yourself?” "I don’t know; I’m not used to It. What do you do —build railroads?” “I’m a bricklayer,” said Hinderks. “Well, what did you do?” “I knocked II of them down with my fist, then the last one hit me on the head.” “With what?” ■T think it was a steel girder. -It hurt a little, but I’m pretty hard. I killed the .big one, though. I hit him once, and when I hit I always kill.” “Hinderks,” said the magistrate, “how long will it take you to get cold sober?” “I don’t know; I,haven’t had much practice.” ... "Well, I’m going to give you six days over on the island, so you can try it My advice is, don’t carry so much money around with you on Saturday nights.”

questions, and the bridegroom, too, had made the necessary answers. The pastor with hands upraised was about to bestow upon the fortunate two his blessing when a returning street ear here into slglrtr”” The motorman saw a man with his hands in the air, surrounded by several other individuals. “What do y’ know ’bout that,” he exclaimed to the passengers standing on the front platform. “There’s a bunch holding up a fellow, and there’s a woman in the crowd.” It was a moment for quiok action by the motorman and passengers. The motorman was in the lead. With all his might he flung himself on the bridegroom and bore him to the ground before the preacher could explain matters.

the inspector with the suit case and $l2O. Wong immediately accused Lee of having arranged for the visit of the inspector, whom he took to be an impostor, and demanded SSOO cash for his opium. Lee refused, and Wong left, to return shortly with four friends, one of whom displayed a revolver. Again the SSOO was demanded, and Lee convinced them that he did not have it in the house. The five escorted him to the stores of one after another of his friends as he attempted to borrow it After they had walked the streets of Chinatown two hours, Lee mustered his courage as a policeman approached, and broke away, yelling valiantly. Three the five, Wong Gue and two others, were captured by the patrolman. What is interesting the police is, did Lee or Wong arrange for the confiscation of the opium? What is interesting the United States customs officials is, was the "inspector a bona fide one who accepted a bribe, or an impostor amenable to punishment for his impersonation?”

“How do you know it is your duck?" Judge Carnahan asked Kowalczyk. “Why, because it’s white,” was the answer. “But there are lota of white ducks in the county. Cant you identify it better than that?” “Well, it’s my duck, that’s how 1 know,” protested Kowalczyk. He identified the chicken In a similar manner. Lukacs admitted having ducks and chickens for sale, but said he got them in Brldgevllle. He resides in Whitaker. A jury found him. guilty. He was remanded to jail for the preeent.

Two Popular Midwinter Models in New Millinery

Two as pretty hats as have been developed this season aro pictured here. They are designed for midwinter, but from them one may draw some interesting conclusions for spring. They evidence very fine workmanship, they are hand-made and come under the meaning of that phrase “real millinery," which one hears so often nowadays. But what marks them most distinctly as belonging to a new order is the very notable simplicity of treatment in the matter of trimming. It is an artful simplicity, requiring milch art to produce with such success. Shapes are so beautiful in themselves that lines must not be lost by trimming. The shape is the thing. There is nothing to conceal about any good one, hence the simple management of trimmings. A hand-made velvet hat is shown In figure 1. It is of black velvet faced with one of the new crepes in white.

NEW IDEA FOR PLACE CARDS

Something Always Welcome Is a Design That Is Different From Run of Thesei -——~ Something new in place cards is always/ of interest to those who frequently entertain. A quaint design seen recently was a card about one inch wide and three inches long. At the top was a picture of a pretty girl whose hat, when tilted back, showed the guest’s name beneath. Another card showed a small messenger boy carrying a small grip. When the grip was lifted the name was found beneath. A lady with a little fan would be another clever idea, or pansies with attached leaves would be neat. For a stag dinner the cards could be made with each one to represent the guest’s occupation. Cards for the banker, tailor, editor, merchant, etc., could be made very quaint if ,the artist is humorist enough to portray a little caricature work in the embellishment. These little affairs can be made at home with white cards and cartridge paper, and if one can sketch the pictures may be made very attractive. A tiny silk bag in which are tucked a few sprays of artificial flowers, Buch as lilies of the valley, or small rosebuds, and a small name card, is a delightful combination of place card and favor.

Pocket Again.

On one or two of the new blouse models the waist is furnished with a useful little pocket placed on the left side of the chest and, thanks to our golfing sisters, the skirt of the ordinary walking costume Is now often supplied with a similar, though larger receptacle. Necessitated in the case of the golfer by the need of carrying balls, it has been adopted by her less athletic sisters .as a means of carrying handkerchiefs, “penny purse," etc. By ‘penny purse” is meant that in which just the necessary small coins for fares, etc., are deposited, that containing more important moneys being much more safely tucked away, either in a hidden pocket or in the usual bag, without which very few women are to be seen nowadays.

Separate Collars.

For those who care for separate collars and pieces of neckwear, some stocks are being shown of pique and charmeuse. The collar is of the pique, which is trimmed with three pearl buttons on either side of the tie at the front, and at the end of the tie, which is of silk, the under piece of pique, Just a little longer than the silk, is found to have the three small buttons also. The colors are dark blue, or green, or black, with all white pique, and the buttons of tints matching the silk.

Jet Revived.

A suit of the long smart eoverall of velours delaine seems as inevitable just no was a fresh black evening frock. And to remark on some black evening frock seen lately there appears to be a revival of jet, more or less serious this time. Strings of carbbchons (about the size of a cent) are noticed on various frocks of transparent black over white, and on a clinging skirt this trimming seems to make the frock ding even more closely to the figure

There is a shirred collar of lace about the crown. The brim allows itself an eccentricity at the back. It has an upturned cape Under which white ostrich plumes, tipped with gray shading into black, are placed. They seem to nestle there blending the hat into the figure of the wearer. An embossed velvet is employed in the pretty hat shown in Figure 2. Such a covering presupposes the simplest trimming, therefore nothing could be better than the soft pure white feather-spray which appears to be thrust through a slash in the velvet. It is fastened with stitches placed with great care so that they are hidden in the velvet leaf which is raised on the surface of the hat covering. This is commendable millinery. It requires fine needlework. The shapes are notably moderate In size. It is quite likely that size will dwindle and that the spring will find us affecting small close-fitting headwear. JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

TO HOLD THE THERMOMETER

Decorative Affair That Can Be Made Without Much Trouble and Is .. ~ Very Useful. 1 " , A thermometer Is a very useful little article for hanging up in a bedroom, or bathroom, but by itself it is not a particularly sightly object, and a decorative holder for it can be made without much trouble, and will greatly improve its appearance. The size of the holder must, of course, be governed by the size of the thermometer which is to find a place upon it, but it should be made in about the proportion of that shown in the sketch. For the foundation, a piece of stiff cardboard is used, and a small hook sewn on to the upper part, holes hav-

ing been made in the cardboard previously for the needle and thread to pass through. The board Is next smoothly covered with velvet, turned over at the edges and fastened on at the back with Seccotine or some other strong adhesive, a small hole for the hook to pass through. The edges are finished off with a fine silk cord carried Into three little loops at each of the lower corners. A loop of ribbon with a rosette bow Is attached to the upper part for suspending It from a nail In the wall, and the holder Is further ornamented with two little loops of ribbon sewn on either side.

Cleaning Carpet Sweeper.

A good way to clean a carpet sweeper is to remove the brush, and after rubbing off all the hairs and lint, rub It well with kerosene. Let the brush remain in the air until all the odor haa evaporated. _

Gathered; Smiles

USEFUL INVENTION. . A Yorkshire farmer was paid by check for some cattle he had sold. It was the first time that it had ever happened. “What’s this?” he said. "Why, money for the beasts,” said the cattledealer. - i. The farmer stared and had to be assured that if he took it to the hank they would give him gold for it. “Well,” said he, “Aw’ll try, but If it’s wrong ’un thou’ll hear about it” The cheek -was cashed,-of- courser and the fanner went home happy, but he could not sleep. He had seen a wonderful thing, and it had excited him. As soon as day broke he made fore the cattledealer’s bouse and woke the dealer. "It’s me,” he said. "Where’s tha got thim bits of paper from? Aw cud do wi’ half a dozen myself!”—Youth’s Companipn. * • 6

A Luckless Man.

"What’s the trouble?” "I’ve just received a fine offer to go south. I have a chance to locate In New Orleans and get a salary nearly twice as large as the one I’m getting here.” “That doesn’t seem to me to be a thing that ought to make you look discouraged. I should think you’d be happy.” “No, I’ve got to decline it. My wife won’t let me go without her, and she refuses to leave here just as the winter is coming on, because she has a fine new set of furs.”

Real Blow.

First Excited Railroad OfficialHeard the news? Second Same Thing—Oh, not so bad. Only five killed —two of ’em brakemen. First —But, my heavens, didn’t you know that along with that vaudeville baggage we were carrying Jungleo, the $200,000 trained baboon. The wreck drove him crazy, and the owner’s getting readyrio sue the road for his full value.—Puck.

MEAN.

Hoax —Did your landlord remember you this Christmas? Joax —Yes. He raised my rent to ten more a month.

Backs to the Farm.

Make doctors, lawyers, merchants Of all boys. If you’re geese; And In a few years tsters will Be fifty cents apiece.

Sandy’s Ruling Passion.

“I hope you are following my instructions carefully, Sandy—the pills three times a day and a drop of whisky at bedtime.” “Weel, sir, I may be a wee bit behind wi’ the pills, but I’m about six weeks in'front wi’ the whusky.”—The Tatler.

Puzzled.

“Did you ask your girl’s father for her hand in marriage. “I did.” , “And he refused you. I can tell by the way you look." "No, he didn’t He gave his consent.” y "Then why the peculiar look you are wearing?” "He was so darned willing.”

Polished.

“Doesn’t Ida keep her hardwood floors in beautiful condition?” "Perfect! Every one who goes there is carried out with a fracture or a dislocation.” —Harper’s Bazar.

Not in Sentence.

“Doesn’t your choir sing at the prison any more?” “No, several of the prisoners objected on the ground that it wasn’t Included in their sentences.’’

Don't Mention It.

“Pardon me, sir,” said she, "for walking on your feet.” “Don’t mention it, miss,” he replied. *T walk on them myself at times.”

Duke’s Bargain.

First Duke—Well, do you think Miss Van Bullion intends to buy you? Second Duke —My dear boy, I don’t know; sometimes 1 think she does; at other times I fear she is merely shopping.

Vienna’s Fame.

“Were you at Vienna wpen you were abroad?’ “Why should I go to Vienna?” rejoined the girl of icy hauteur. ”1 care for neither musical comedy oofr sausage."

GOOD STORY.

An Englishman met a friend and said: "I say, old chap, I’ve got an awfully good idea, don’t you know. I’m going to have a music-box put up In my bathroom, so when I’m having my bath I can have a bit of music, don’t you know.” His friend didn't seem to think much of the idea, and when he met him some time afterwards he asked how the idea of the music-box in the bathroom came off. “Qhy” said his friend. —to - tell - the* truth, it wasn’t much of a success. The plaguey. thing would only play ‘God Save the King,’ and I had to stand up all the time.”

BEST WAY.

Slowguy—How do you manage to kiss a girl when her chaperon is right close by? Fatchap—Why, kiss the chaperon first. - '.. :

Hopeful.

The baby looks like pa, but ma’a Not of the grieving creatures; He may play football some fine day And that will change his features.

Soft-Hearted.

“I’m afraid I don’t love Henry any more,” said Mrs. Wilier to her closest friend, Mrs. Agnew. “Oh. don’t say that, my dear.” "I’m afraid it’s true.” “Surely you are not thinking of a divorce?" ies, T am, but when I reflect that there 1b probably not another woman in the world who can make waffle* Just the way Henry likes them, I haven’t the heart to divorce him.”

In a Quandry.

A member of parliament has been showing round a letter that he has just received from »one of his constituents. The writer is evidently worried about the provisions of the deceased wife’s sister act, and in the course of the letter he asks if it is compulsory. "By this I niean,” he goes on to explain, “if my present wife dies, am I compelled to marry her sister?”

Unromantic.

“She says I am in her thoughts by day and her dreams by night” - “Don’t you believe it?” “Do you mean to insinuate that she Is deceiving me?” "I mean Bhe is wearing a pair of shoes a size too small for her, and by day her thoughts are where her ache is'.”

Going Some.

Belle —Is she the kind of woman who would take the bread out of another’s mouth? Beulah —Why, she would take the halrpinß out of another woman’s mouth!

WELL AIRED.

He—Miss Blgmouthe talks Incessantly, doesn’t she? ' She—Yes; she claims that a person’s opinions get musty if they aren’t aired.

Mission Style.

It might not make men loss profane. Might not save e’en one soul. But a square collar button. It Reams to us would not roll.

An Unfortunate Child.

"They say that Mrs. Waddlngton*a little boy Is ambidextrous,” said Mra. Oldcaatle. “Land takes!” exclaimed Mrs. Gottalotte, "Is that so? Ain't It too bad? They expected he was goln’ to be a! right after they got hie tonsils out