Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 February 1913 — WE'LL NEVER MARRY WITHOUT A CHANCE [ARTICLE]

WE'LL NEVER MARRY WITHOUT A CHANCE

Organisation of So-Called Old Maids is Formed and Some Pointed Resolutions Adopted. The Republican is usually opposed to the publication of anonymous communications, but the appended one seems so harmless that We have decided to print-it and here it is verbatim: “Qld Maids’ Protective Club, dr O. M. P. C.” ‘ The Old Maids of this locality, being tired of handing a large number of lemons to boys who frequently followed them home of evenings, have decided to form an organisation for a protective club. Below are a fey resolutions which they have made. Resolved: That we will never marry unless we have a chance. Not to miss feeding the cats more than three times a day. Not to flirt on the street corners unless we have an opportunity. Not to go to the nickle show unless we have a nickle. Not to wear a wig as long as we have a bunch of hair as big as a darning needle. That it is more fashionable to give gloves than mittens. Not to drink more than six cups of tea at a meal as it is bad for our complexion. Not to charge members more than a nickle’s worth of candy or a dime’s worth of tea. To meet on Tuesday evenings of every week between the hours of eight and nineThis club will hang together and anyone who attempts to follow them or trouble them in any way will be handed over to the leading officer for trial. January 29, 1913.