Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 January 1913 — Rules For Guests. [ARTICLE]

Rules For Guests.

Guests are requested not to speak to the dumb waiter. Guests wishing to get up without being called can have self-raising flotir for supper. The hotel is supported by a beautiful cemetery; hearses to hire, 25 cents a day. Guests wishing to do a little driving will find hammer and nails in the closet. If the room gets too warm, open the windows and see the fire escape. If you’re fond of athletics and like good jumping, lift the mattress and see the bed spring. If your lamp goes out, take a feather out of the pillow; that’s light enought for any room. Any one troubled with nightmare will find a halter on the bedpost. Don’t worry about paying your bill; the house is supported by the foundation.