Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 January 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

In summer swat the Hies. In winter. watch your overheated flues! Anyway, explosive golf balls are Injuring very few golf players , these days. Harvard's football coach gets $lO.000 a year. A college education sometimes pays. A lawyer proposed to his stenographer in shorthand and was accepted off hand. The dihlects of the world number ’8,424. But this does not Include those, ■used upon the stage. Delaware has a pig that hunts rabbits. Would be a fine porker to grease on the Fourth of July. A New York physician has evolved a cure for red noses. Another blow at the liquor traffic, no doubt. Don, the talking dog, could not speak because of having a tack in his Coot, whereas with a man !! The trackless trolley car Is now in operation. Another rampant danger to dodge added to the automobile. A Boston judge ruled that everybody is crazy; but his decision probably will be reversed if it is appealed. “Sing and your ills will vanish.” Bays Mme. Calve. Not If your neighbor happens to be bigger than you are. Geoigla woman got a divorce from her husband because he got drutik on paregoric. What a childish thing to do! A Chicago judge has decided that a motorcycle is a deadly weapon, especially if the rider happens to be loaded. i A Cornell freshman has discovered a way of living on 85 cents a week. College students have some queer fadß, South African natives are said tp be adopting European clothing. Perhaps the Paris styles made a hit with them. A big steamship Is being built In New Jersey to be launched by fifty red-headed girls. Wonder If It’s a white ship. New York Is crusading against church bells. It is an awful thing to be kept awake by them just as you go to bed. • A New Brunswick hear has been trained to mind a baby, according to an exchange. Speaking of the story, it’s a bear. A New York man killed himself with a ticket to Newark in his pocket. Probably he preferred the lesser of the two evils. A woman doctor says that women wore corsets and hobble skirls 5,000 years ago. And they haven’t improved on ’em a bit. Paris Is planning to tax foreigners who reside there more than three months. Maybe Paris does not like our exiles, either. A poultry expert In Pennsylvania predicts dollar eggß. At this rate, canvasback duck will be cheaper eat ing than omelets. A German scientist says the human race is losing Its memory. But that doesn’t apply to some politicians who want to forget and can’t. When Mr. Glass, a glazier, cuts his foot by treading on a bit of broken bottle we must conclude that some men learn very little from experience. An aviator Is getting ready to fly across the Atlantic in 24 hours. And his preparations don’t include making arrangements with an undertaker, either. Widows are barred from the Splneters’ association of Massachusetts, organized to get eligible young men to call on lonely spinsters. Suppose they fear ’em. Chicago police captured a thief by the scent of the- perfume he used. Hard to say whether that Is a credit to the deduction of the detectives or a warning to petty thieves not to employ perfume. One may safely predict that none of the many enterprising automobile manufacturers Is going to claim credit for the machine that a San Franciscan dumped into the bay because it had coat him $2,000 for repairs. It is now discovered that the hobble skirt was worn in Crete 6,000 years ago. Which only goes to prove that they are relics of barbarism. The man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo has been sent to jail for fraudulent operations in Paris. He should have stuck to Monte Carlo. Oerm&ny has a four-story hotel for horses The horse probably has Increased in value since It has been adopted as a food, according to cabls I dispatches. £ ___