Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 January 1913 — Page 3

SMILES

tip Gadspurn’s Luck. “I feel like apologizing to Gad«punL w ~ • 5 “Why so?” . - have always thought him a hard man, but yesterday when I called on him to see if he would pajran account he has owed our firm for some time, I found with a'handkerchief to his eyes, apparently in tears. Net wishing to intrude on a man at such a painful moment, I hastily withdrew.” ' “Ha! ha! I also called on Gadspurn shortly after you did and found him still in tears.” “And did you sympathize with him?” * ' “Sure. In fact I got the cinder out of his eye that, wasbothering him so much.” /

LIGHT WOULD SOON BE OUT.

He —You used to say I was the light of your life. , She —Yes, but papa says you’re burning the candle at both ends.

Good News.

Great Joy Is written on her face, A happiness that knows no bounds; She hopes to trip with girlish grace Because she's lost eleven pounds.

Wants Mulligan’s Room.

A little Irishman in a state of great excitement and deshabille ran into the lobby of the hotel.' 1 “I want a room,” he said to the clerk, “and I want it quick." “What room do you want?” inquired the clerk politely. “I want 37.” “But 37 U already-occupied—Mulli-gan has that room.” -/, ft know he has,” responded the little Irishman. “I’m Mulligan, and I just fell out of the window.”—Photo Bits. W *-.• -

The Hero and the Valet.

“No man Is a hero to his valet,” said the ready-made philosopher. “Well," replied Senator Sorghum, “with so many people willing to give wdjiftlring demonstrations without charge, a man wouldn’t feel like paying a valet to applaud.”

Mystery.

Bacon—l see Alaska has its first dining-car made out of an old coach in the Cojjdova shops and managed by a man and his wife. Egbert—Very interesting. But I think It would be more important to know what some of the dishes served on the dining-car are made of. -

A Disrespect.

“Did you read the novel I have Just gotten out?” asked the persistent author. “Yes." “What did you think of it?” “It is one of those terrible practical Jokes that are constantly being played on the genius that Invented the printing press,”

GIVING HER A POINTER.

Miss Heavyweight—Yea, I’d like to be a good basketball player. Are there any books yon could recommend that would help me? Mr. Knowing—Well, before'taking It up you might get some points on “First Aid to the Injured-"

An Old Annoyance.

(The curtain rtsea, pleased we are To see the play begin. But cannot hear the famous star For people trooping In.

Not Enjoyable.

“Do you shave yourself?" asked the victim In the-chair. „ "Sure thing," replied the garrulous barber. “And do you enjoy It?"' "Never! You see, Ido It when I’m alone, and so there’s no one for me to talk to."

WHAT PUZZLED PETE.

The clergyman of a small town had a fine orchard and one night it waa robbed, the only clue left being the robber’s finger-print on an overripe peach. The minister had an enormous photographic enlargement of the finger-print made and, with 'lt; under his arm, accosted the man he suspected. * » “Pete," he said, “someone robbed my orchard last night” Pete gulped nervously. “Is that so, sir?” he said. ' "Yes, Pete, that’s so,” replied the minister; “but the thief left his mark behind him and I shall easily find him.” ■ “Yes, sir,” said Pete, huskily. "Yes. Do you see this, Pete?” and the minister held up the huge enlargement of the finger-print. Pete made a gesture of despair. "I see there ain’t no use .denying it parson,” he fcaid. “I done it. But I sui-e would like to know where you got that impression of my corduroy pants.” -

Point In His Favor.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself to roam aimlessly about and never do any woj-k," said Mrs. Naggers, to the ragged specimen of humanity who stood at her door. “That’s true, mum,” replied the wanderer. "And yet you must give me credit for one thing.” • •, "And what is that?” “Although I have been traveling over the world for more than twenty years, I have never yet acquired the souvenir habit.” "

Her Specialty.

“So you took your wife to- the' baseball game?” “Yes,” replied Mr. Meekton. “Did she enjoy it?” "Only part of it. She thought they wasted a great deal of time running around the lot, but she thought the arguments with the umpire were quite interesting." ,

NO CHURCH CEREMONY.

Lovelorn —You wish me to elope with your daughter! Why,' sir? Harduppe—Beqaue, no wedding bills for me.

Pay! Pay! Pay!

In vain we Jacks kick up a fuss At garb worn by our Jills; The only footwork asked of us Is that We foot the bills. ~

Honest, and Didn’t Know It.

“What’s the matter here?” asked the customer after apples. “There are no big apples on the top of this barrel?” - “I’ll tell you about that," replied the dealer; "when I got the barrel packed with small apples there wasn’t any room on the top for any big ones.”

Nervy.

First Flatter—My alarm clock never wakes me now. « Second Flatter—-Well, the noise isn’t wasted; it wakes me every morning. First Flatter —Is that so? Say, would you mind running down and pounding on my door when you hfiar it?

Surely.

Church—Ydu know, he’s an Englishman. Gotham—So I believe. "He told me he had a mortgage on his place over home of one thousand pounds.” “Pretty heavy to lift, I should say.”

Once Enough.

"Did you go to the theater while you were in New York —?” “Only once. After that I hung around cases, thinking something exciting might happen.”'

Where They Do It.

"Oh, the ease with which some men can master great difficulties!” sighed the sweet maid. “Oh, yes; I read novels, too,” commented the young man.

Go Away Down.

"Good gracious!” exclaimed the first amateur fisherman; ’Tm nearly but of hooks, I don’t think fishhooks go as fax as they used to.” “Well, I know they do when they gef into eels,” replied the second amateur fisherman, sadly.

Kept Busy.

"What do you do when it gets too cold to pipy golf. Mr. Niblick?" “Well, as a rule, I kdep hoping for an early spring or a chance to go south for a month or two."

In "Checker Board”

Quite a logical sequence to the board, brilliant stripes of the English cricket coat is making its appearance in the checker board coat and caps, of which a picture is shown here. Nothing could be simpler in line and coni' position than the c<jat. The material will not allow decoration other than the plain horn buttons which appear on the cuffs and fasten the belt. These coats are just getting a start, and we may expect to see them with much greater frequency in the spring. The simple round hat made from the same material is as soft as the Coat, and is really a garment for the head. -) t There is a droll standing feather at the side. No one would think of describing it as pretty, but it fits the scheme admirably, for this outfit expresses those characteristics of the young American miss which cause the French to say that she looks and acts

TAKE CARS OF YOUR LOOKS

Much Wisdom Conveyed In This Advice That a Woman Gives to Her Sisters.

One reason why so many women begin to “go off” in their looks after thirty or even_jearlier, is a growing habit of carelessness about their appearance. In particular, the woman that marrieß aud has children is very likely to fall into the notion that “it doesn’t matter how mother looks.” Indeed, I have known women who seemed to consider it a part of theic. duty to their families to get old and ugly as Boon as possible. No woman can make a more fatal mistake. A woman wants to be proud of her children, and her children have an equal right.to be proud of her. A woman who has become a wrinkled, faded, humped-up, dowdy, “back number” at forty may get a certain tolerant, affection and perfunctory gratitude from her family, but she can never inspire the admiration and respect and willing pbedience that every child should be able to render to hiß mother. Depend upon it, excellent wife and devoted mother, if you find yourself too busy ( to take, a daily bath, too busy to keep your scalp clean and your hair brushed, too busy to go to a dentist at the first sign of decaying teeth, too busy to massage the blackheads out of your skin and manicure your nails and provide yoursdlf with suitable, becoming clothes, then you are absolutely too busy. - You are either being imposed upon by some shirker, or else you are voluntarily sacrificing more important to a less important consideration. If it comes right down to a choice, madam, I think your husband would take more pleasure in your clean complexion than in a clean pair of attic stairs, and I am quite sure that it is better to provide your children with a neat, trim, well-groomed mother to look at at table than to harass their little stomachs with some elaborate and indigestible “made digh.”—Woman's World.

Novelty Buttons In Neckwear.

One of the most striking features of the smartest neckwear is the large use made of small button garnitures, says the Dry Goods Economist Rhinestone, Jet, crystal, cloth-covered and pearl buttons score, in the order mentioned. The fact that many of the button-trimmed novellties come rather high can easily be accounted for when one consders the cost of the novelty buttons used. At the same, the smartness of the styles depends to a large extent upon the clever arrangement of these buttons.

Girlish Gown.

A simple and girlsh gown is made of post white chiffon tripimed with garlands of green satin leiaves, appliqued to the bodice and skirt In border fashion. These garlands outline the round neck of the bodice, the high waist line in the form of a girdle and the edge of a draped fifnlc where it is caught up with a green satin bow. The sleeves are also caught up with a satin bow.

Old Fashions Recalled.

Skirts have widened sufficiently to make movement graceful and easy, yet they have no superfluous folds, and are simply cut. The three-quar-ter length coats are of extraordinary variety in design, and the use of fur on the whole costume is most effective, the result reminding oae very forcibly of the charming winter coats worn by women several centuries ago.

like a young lad, without being boisterous or obstreperous. >. The jiert little single feather hasa black curled tip and a soft white base. It is a sort of'challenge to good fellowship. A soft hat for a younger girl is made of velveteen or of plush, although others equally good are made of plaid or checkered fabrics, such ak are used in coats. The turned back brim is adorned with three quaint little bows in front. Any one who is clever at sewing can make this hat, for patterns of it are to be found in almost any standard fashion book. These are sensible and smart clothes for young people, and those two adjectives express the idea of feathers of real style when one must choose for the growing girl apparel of any kind.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

BEADS OF ALL SORTS WORN

No Article of Personal Adornment Is More Popular Than Strings of These Trimmings.

Since the early days, when the ancients first wore strings of beads, they have become a permanent article of personal adornment. Bean chains, ranging from the superb rope of pearls to the amber, Jet and crystal necklaces, are festooned around the throat, and add their beauty to the toilette. The short string of pearls is as fashionable as ever, and bead trimmings are enjoying a very prominent place. Many of the smartest evening gowns are trimmed with bead plaques. The beads are so closely Bet together that there is nd space between thens They are wrought upon canvas in the oldfashioned mat and screen designs. These show baskets of flowers and birds unreal looking in their strange coloring. The peasant fashions are much in vogue, and the suspenders are decorated with beads and embroidery. The most beautiful bead trimmings are those that represent the arabesque designs or black chiffon, crepe de chine, net or taffeta. Among the smartest eyenings gowns are those showing heavily beaded tunics over a foundation of chiffon.

NEW MODEL FOR CLOTH WAIST

This new and simple model is of cloth with vest of the same, which Is made with a wide box plait, the latter ornamented at the top with a strap of the material and. buttons and loopa. The wide turn-over collar and the cuffs are of the same cloth.

Evening Shoes and Buckles.

Among the accessories of dress on which time and money are being lavishly expended this winter are evening shoes and buckles. For the former beautiful and costly brocades and damasks are employed and In colors to match the gowns, white and gold being much favored. Jeweled buckles of great price circle of pleated or plain satin, but two loops of black velvet ribbon are seen coming from the latter beneath the buckle. Satin flowers supply a touch of color. k ,

STORIES from the BIG CITIES

Fellow Passenger Grew Curious; Boy Made Dime

NEW YORK.—The small urchin climbed up the car steps and wormed himself into a seat beside the Busybody.. The basket he was carrying the youngster fixed carefully between his feet, with several anxious glances in the process. ' ~ “What have you in that basket, my boy?” asked the neighbor, bending over confidentially. “I noticed how careful you were of it It must be something quite valuable, isn’t it?” “Ye’re hep, old sport. It’s somethin’ that’s worth a whole heap.” “Well, won’t you tell me what it is?” “Not on yer life! Think I want to get pinched?” This was too much Xor the Busybody. His curiosity, heretofore merely casual, grew suddenly pointed, and he bit. “Well, sonny, I’ve a notion that if I gave you a nickel you’d tell me what you had in that basket.” “Make it a dime and I’ll do it!”' whispered the boy. “Only ye’ve got to promise not to give me away to de cop.”

Knitting Pastime of the Sixth City’s Firemen

CLEVELAND, O.—The gong at No. 2 engine house, Champlain avenue, clanged insistently. “Dear me, there must be a fire somewhere, and just when I had these wristlets almost finished,” exclaimed Austin Reddy, six foot and stalwart fireman, laying aside his knitting with an air of petulance and climbing into a rubber coat. Reddy has the reputation of being one of the most agile scrappers in the department. Several other firemen laid aside shawls which they were knitting, supplanting the needles with axes as they got aboard for the run. All of which is not a Joke. The firemen of Cleveland have the knitting craze, and instead of the hitherto customary book, checker, domino or card game, they while the time away, making shawls, coverlets and other dainty, filmy, creamy nothings for their wives, mothers or sweethearts. Jake Abel, prominent member of th,e Sisters’ club at No. 2, introduced the fad in Cleveland. He had read of firefighters in some western city taking up knitting as a pastime. So he

Alarm Clocks Trap a Robber; Cause Conviction

CHICAQO. —One alarm clock caused the arrest of Paul Newman the other day and another his conviction and sentence to a year in the Bridewell. The restaurant of A. Covillo, 620 West Madison street, had been robbed, and Detectives Sullivan and O’Brien had been detailed to find the thief. As a clew in their quest, the detectives wrote a list of the articles stolen and they included two alarm clocks. Several hours after they had started on their thief hunt the detectives approached Halsted and West Madison streets. Suddenly they heard a long-drawn-out but muffled sound. "Ding-a-lUtg-arllng,”—lt started and

California Governor’s Son Has “The Wallop”

SAN FRANCISCO.—“Jack"Johnson as Hiram W. Johnson, Jr., son of the governor. Is popularly known, took easy honors in a fistic encounter the other day with a husky youngster from Monterey in the wine room of the St. Francis hotel. Only one was delivered, straight from the shoulder, and James Reed was stretched on the floor, after which be was ejected from the hotel.

According to tbe onlookers, Reed walked Into the hotel bar a little the worse for wear. . Johnson’s perfectly fitting checked suit and a red rose In the lapel of his coat caught Reed's roving eye. His remarks, addressed to Johnson in an undertone, were not complimentary either to the governor’s son nor to his apparel. The fact that young Johnson was drinking seltzer also annoyed Reed. ' “If I were you,” said Johnson.&foletly, "I would hesitate to make such remarks." - * Thereupon Reed aimed a vicious kick, which struck Johnson Just above

“Why, of course, nf promise." The boy the coin. "Well, sport, dey’s a baby in dere. I hooked ’im, an’ put *im inside when dey wasn’t nobody lookin’. Now 11l get » reward tor returnin’ ’im.” "Why, you young villain! Do you mean to say you have a baby in that basket? Lying in that thing will kill 1L Where did you get It?” “ob, I picked it up in front o’ one o’ dem big stores. It was all alone, w» I jus' took it I guess it won’t be missed, an’ I wanted one, anyway.” “Not be missed! See here, yon young blackguard! Do you mean to say that its mother had deserted It?” “Sure! Its mudder wasn’t nowhere around.” “How old is itr “Oh, a few months, I guess. Big enough to squeal—so I tied a rag round its mouf.” "Well, lift up the cover and let mo see how it looks.” "Hoi’ on, o’ top. You promised not to give me away.” “Yes, but I didn’t expect—-” and her lifted the cover and glanced at what was underneath. Sitting u(. on an old cloth was an insignificant looking yellow puppy. . . “ : .- The boy jumped up and grinned. “Well, here’B where I get off. Thanks for de dime. An’ say, I’ll tell ye one ten times as good as that for a quarter. 8o long!”

got needles and yarn and learned all the intricate digital calisthenics necessary for knitting. One day he took his place at the station with a frame on which was a partly knitted shawl of an exquisite baby blue hue. « He sat down and the needles began to fly. His erstwhile “elubmates” looked on in astonishment. What was the matter with Jake. Had he turned suffragette? “Won’t you have a cup of tea, Jake?” asked Captain Jeffers, politely. Abel replied that he would not, but that would take something to, smoke. None dared to ask him about the shawl, which grew apace under his nimble fingers.

continued for two minutes. _ Newman, who was standing on the corner, began to run when the alarm went off. The detectives ran, too, right after him. ‘There's our man,” said Sullivan. "Right," said O’Brien a few seconds later when they had overtaken Newman and found the ringing alarm cloek in his pocket. Later in the morning Newman was arraigned before Municipal Judge Caverly. He evidently was considering a plea of “not guilty,” despite the finding of the clock In his pocket, when there was a disturbance in the courtroom “Ding- a-1 i ng-a-1 i ng,” and so on it went It was the second stolen clock. Newman looked perplexed, then downcast. He knew pleas of innocence would avail him nothing, so he stepped up and received his sentence. “One year in the bridewell and a «»y> of $lO and costs," said the judge. Next time when Newman takes clocks he will probably stop to see whether the alarms are wound.

his knee. The latter retaliated with a powerful blow, delivered by a muscular and trained arm. Reed, who la the larger man, was knocked completely out and R took several minute* of vigorous fanning and the application of wet towala to bring him back to consciousness. He staggered to hla feet,'was handed hia hat by a bellboy and escorted to the door, with a polite invitation to forget to return. Johnson waa congratulated hr hie friends on the way he held his temper. on the strength of his right arm and on the nobby appearance of hie checked suit