Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 January 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

* Jamaica’s torrential rains ought to mollify the ginger. Youth has been defined as Just one darned blunder after another. Prophets are bum leaders. If you dont' believe it, look at Turkey. 4- Parisian hotel will be opened without servants. Also without guests. Skirts slashed; at the knee are the latest fashion. Handy to get at the money. Statistics show that more bachelors than married men become Insane. Why say more? , A New York paper advises its readers to start a pearl farm. Still seed pearls are expensive. That town which seeks to bear the name “1912" can never hope to be up to date next January. Cuba certainly Is learning the game. It is now crying fraud over the election and demanding a recount Money that Europe does not spend on a general war it can invest nicely in buying shoes for the |aby. Our .only fear of a woman in the president’s cabinet Is that she would put scalloped paper on its shelves. Army aviators have Invented a noiseless aeroplane. The harmless one, however, is still uninvented. A St Louis woman threw clocks at her husband, probably with the intention of impressing upon him the fact that time flies. The corset is of some real use to mankind after all. A female impersonator has died because of tight lacing. Now the ypung man who took his girl out In a canoe during the summer, is taking her out on a motorcycle. Tortoises are cultivated in the Seychelles Island for their shell. And lobsters are cultivated on Broadway for their money. The candy trust has been attacked in the courts. Gladsome tidings for the young man who starts courtship this winter. Keeping “a headless cat alive 12 hours” may be a triumph of medical or surgical science, but it is awfully hard on the cat The Illinois supreme court wants to know whether poker is work. Too deep for us, but it's evident that the players aren’t union men. Not only do transatlantic wireless messages promise to be much cheaper, but they may relieve us of the hybrid word “cablegram.” Statistics prove that bachelors go Insane oftener than married men, but any married man knows that bachelors have more time for such activities. Pierre Loti announces that he admires the freshness of the American girl. He is reticent, however, concerning the freshness of the American boy. Twenty-three hundred love letters were found among the effects of an Australian bachelor. Evidently he either had to die or marry to stop them. Some scientists In New York can now keep headless cats alive 12 hours “if necessary." But if put to a referendum of normal cats it would never be necessary. A New York woman wants a divorce because her husband drinks cologne. She can’t be blamed, considering the odor of some of the concoctions classed under that name. Dynamiters boughPularm clocks by the dozen for their Infernal machines, but you cannot make a commuter believe that dynamiting was a bit too good forpn alarm clock. Woman “experts” who tell bow to prepare a meal for six persons for 42 cents are bringing unhappiness to many a poor housewife who Is doing the best she can on the money her husband hands to her. Now a teortst thinks small girls* amusements tend to make them neurotic. But the cold materialism of theory Is going a little too far when It attempts to make little girls stop playing mother with their dolls. A Pittsburg woman wants a divorce because her husband was sober twice in twelve years. We take It that they were not successive occasions. “The Blind Banker of Paris," who was able to get away with 12,000,000 belonging to his clients seems to have had an eye for the main chance. In a New York speed contest typists were writing from 111 to 117 words a minute; Since we have observed that people who wrote as fast as that don’t (•ay much, the pews excites no envy.