Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 January 1913 — SMILE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SMILE

RESOURSEFUU In the club they were comparing the. resourcefulness of their wives in diffi--cult social situations. The man who lives in a Harlem flat had been a good listener, but he finally found an opening. , “Yes,” sald he, *‘my wife isn’t bad at that sort of thing. We were having some people to luncheon on Sunday last spring, and just at an hour when all the delicatessens were closed she discovered that she needed some mustard and didn’t have a grain of it iq the kitchen. And she isn’t the sort that will borrow from people next door that she doesn’t know. It was a bad fix, all right. But she feot mustard enough.” “Went to the delicatessen man’s house and routed him out, I suppose?” suggested a member from the Bronx. “Not much. Just went to the medicine closet, got down a box of readymade mustard plasters, put ’em to soak, and squeezed enough of the hoj Stuff Off.” - “Good night,” said the man from the Bronx.

. - He Had a Name. .. r Patrick, lately over, was working in the yards of a railroad. One day he happened to be in the yard office when the force was out. The telephone rang vigorously and he at last decided it ought to be aonswered. He walked over to the Instrument, took down the receiver and , put his mouth to tlie transmitter, just as he had seen others do. "Hillo!” he called. “Hello,” answered the voice at the other end of the line. "Is this eight-six-one-five-nlne?” "Aw, g’wan! Phwat d’ ye t’ink Of am? A box car?"