Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 305, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 December 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Philadelphia la offering a bounty on rata to get the fleaa off them. A ticklish proposition. Naturally the baseball fans And In the restored Venus ot Milo a southpaw with good curves. The price of steel hoops has been advanced $2 a ton, but not because hoops klrts are coming In. A Minnesota health official says the only place to kiss a woman Is on her photograph. Not on your tintype! A man recently found 24,000 In an old mattress he was going to burn up. Probably some one left it to the hair. a The next thing to become popular Is the auto milk cart Then well probably find gasoline In the bottles. A New York suffragette says: “I'm thirty-eight and I don’t care a whoop for the men!" Probably it’s mutual. ▲ New York woman of eighty is starting to learn a trade. A person Is never too old to learn, even In New York. ~ls heat a substance?” asks the Literary Digest; and any householder can tell the magazine that heat Is an expense. Less than 1,000,000 New York children took advantage of the public baths last year. Childhood is ever the same. If they could only kill a few more bandits as they did that one at Delta, Cal., It might discourage the business of train robbing. And perhaps the worst thing-> the recent campaign Inflicted upon as longsuffering country was the mongrel yerb “straw-voted.” A Bantu tribesman has,been discovered with forty-five wives. If the tribe allowed suffrage, no doubt he’d be perpetual king. A Are in a snuff factory put the Chicago fire department out of commission. A Are of that sort la nothing to be sneezed at.

They say that the new diamond weighing 1,649 carats 1b a little off color, but. If so, we have seen neckties that would match it. A western telegraph manager advertises for "girls with wheels.” He ought to find them by going to any moving picture show. All the song birds migrate to the south except the particular kind that waits on the big cities for the opening of the opera season. Christmas trees from New England are to be quarantined. The next thing we know they will be fumigating Santa Claus* whiskers. A railroad company Is asked to pay 9200,000 for the death of a chlmpansee. Evidently Its owner Is not eager to for his living now. A bird said to be a French owl was captured by a policeman. France Is the last country In the world to think of for producing anything owlish. A New York bigamist has been sentenced to prison for five years, one year for each wife. Why not make him live one year with all five wives? Real babies are to be used In a school of mothercraft at Acton, Eng., where girls will be taught the art of infant management. Poor little kids! Chicago has a school for brides, but no guarantee of a position goes with a scholarship. A Philadelphia man has died, leaving SIOO,OOO, without any indication of where he wants It to go. However, the lawyers will get it, Just the same. When an artiste arrives at New York from Europe, carrying 600 pairs of shoes you may rest assured that she Is either a centipede or a dancer. It is maintained by a Boston minister that it is possible to marry” and live comfortably on sls a week. It is possible at least to marry on that income. The new Zeppelin airships are equipped with kitchens and the disposal of garbage from them Is, of course, a matter of the attraction of . gravitation. The horse no longer smells the battle afar off. The enemy afar off now gets a whiff from the approaching war auto when the wind Is blowing toward them. Chins has no forests. There are no woods for her unpopular politicians to take to. * .S k A New York corporation has liquidated because women are giving up petticoats And some husbands are liquidating beeause they won't give up petticoat rule. The Japs are reported to be taking to American beef In the hope of growing taller. After they get the butcher's bill they will find it really leaves them very much shorter.