Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 302, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 December 1912 — Page 3

Cales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

Where Risk Is Greater Than That in Late Wars

V EW YORK.—Rear Admiral Robley ™ D. Evans once said that he -would sooner stand on the bridge of the battleship Ohio during a sea fight than 'cross Broadway. His view of the hazards of New York streets was not exaggerated, if you consider the fact that 423 people were killed and 2,004 Injured by automobiles, street cars, «nd horse-drawn vehicles in the city last year. If statistics prove anything, it is safer to shoulder your Title and go to a minor war than traverse the streets of the metropolis. Jnst look back upon the records of the American regular army and see if this is not correct. Take thd Indian wars from 1788 to 1812,—a period of 23 years. Twenty officers and 726 men, a total of 746, were killed in

Excited Woman Reports a Fierce Accident

BUFFALO, N. Y.—The presence of a large crowd about an automobile ■at Main and G&rlten streets at 5:30 o’clock the other gfternoon was telephoned to police station No. 3 by a 'woman. “It must have been a fierce accident," said she. “There’s a man under the car and he looks to be dead." Her description aroused Desk Serigeant Healy. "Clear the decks for action," roared toe, stepping from the telephone booth. “Send the reserve here quick, Pike!” s “What’s up?” asked Pike. "You’ll hear me telling the reserves. Get them on the Jump,” answered Healy., 'Td like to be a captain or a lieutenant for one minute and I’d sit on you," muttered Pike. But he did as he was told and rounded up Policemen Powers and Winters, who stood at attention In front of Healy In less than a minute. “There’s a man killed at Main and Carlton streets," said Healy, "and get there as quick as your mortal legs or e street car will take you." The two policemen got a street car at Main and Chippewa streets, it being the quickest means of locomotion that is furnished in the third precinct. “It’s a tough world," remarked Healy to Pike. “I suppose that man was going home to his supper or dinner, whichever he called it.”

Woe for Messenger; “Cute Puppy” Was a Skunk

CHICAGO. —Jimmy Malbaum, special delivery messenger, has been banished in disgrace from the federal building. It isn’t Jimmy’s personality that’s wrong—he is, or was, of a lovable and energetic disposition; It’s something else. Jimmy’s exile dates from the time toe went to the town of Jefferson with a special delivery letter. Trippiing merrily along, Jimmy’s eyes fell on a cute little black and white puppy crouched on the sidewalk. Across Jimmy’s mind flashed the idea that he would corral that “pup" in his mail hag and take it home. He took after the animal. The chase finally wound up in a nearby thicket. Jimmy gave up after a full five minutes’ endeavor. Disappointed, he went back to the car line. A car happened along, and Jimmy hoarded:

Errand Kills Horse and Gets Driver in Fight

CLEVELAND, O.—Adolph Gablesteen, boarder at the home of Joseph Sechmopzer, Main and Center avenues, is positively convinced "he’s (the gay that put the tune is misfortune." Happy Hooligan in his palmiest days lived in a shower of dollar ) bills and tnrkey suppers compared (to the luck he had yesterday, Gableeteen maintains. Gablesteen borrowed a horse from (Bechmopcer and hired a wagon from the West Side Transfer company. He drove to Parana to bring a trunk and two suitcases into Cleveland. On his way home to Parma the horse fell exhausted at Fulton road and Clarke avenue. In falling the animal broke both shafts of the wagon. Gablesteen telephoned the transfer company to send a rig to get his trunk and cases and another to take the wagon to the barn. When the transfer driver started to take the rig away and left the horse lying in the street a general discussion among onlookers started, and it

those wars. That is less than twice the number of street victims in New York last year. The war of 1812 with Great Britain, lasting four years, took the lives of 65 American officers and 1,235 men. That was a hot contest, but the average number of casualties each year was considerably less than 42 £ The war with Spain created plenty of excitement, but Spanish bullets and shells did not play the same amount of havoc with Americans as did the city’s vehicles in 1911. Take, for Instance, the fighting around Santiago from June 22 to July 17, 1898. This resulted in the death of 21 officers and 222 men attached to the Fifth army corps, while 101 officers and 1,344 were wounded. These figures are illuminating, inasmuch as they show that the reckless and careless drived be he chauffeur, motorman or whip, is already a menace to the city’s peace and comfort. And, although he kills, he usually goes unpunished. He is free to kill again. The law rarely holds him accountable for hist crime, and the family of? the victim has no redress and receives no pension.

Pike Inquired what had killed him and Healy Yeplied that it was an automobile. “All I know is that a woman says hp’B under the car,” said Healy to an inquiry of Pike for particulars. Powers and Winters returned to the station house after the lapse of about thirty minutes. They were passing on to the reserve room without even a glance at Healy. “What did you find, boys?” asked he. “There was a fellow and his car stopped at the top of the hill and he was- under the car fixing up the works,” said Powers. "It was an old, one-cylinder affair with a bum lamp, i asked him what was the matter and he said that was what he was trying to find out. He 'thought the car was likely to start any second and it did while Winters and we mefe scattering the crowd." “You didn’t get his name," said Healy. , “We didn’t ask," said Powers.

The conductor clanged the bell for a start and then clanged still harder for a stop. "Hi, you’ll have to get on the front platform,” he yelled to Jimmy. Jimmy went. / The motorman took one whiff and then stopped* the car. “Say, kid, if youse wants to ride on this boat board the fender. I can’t stand the gaff,” the knight of the controller shouted. hJ “Say, take this bundle out,” a mail clerk told Jimmy as soon as he landed, white the other employees scurried for windows. As luck happened, the bundle of specials was for the hotel run. The first stop was the Palmer house. Jimmy had hardly landed when the head clerk rushed for a telephone and called up the postoffice. “Say, do you want to drive all our patrons out?" he yelled through' the transmitter. “This kid is awful." That finished Jimmy. Another delivery boy met him on the comer outside the building and relieved him of his letters. In explanation it might be said —and reliably—that the "puppy" Jimmy tried to catch was of the genus spilogale—otherwise a skunk.

ended in a free-for-all fight Gable--Bteen fled. Patrolman Donnellan, of the West SSth street station, restored quiet ' Donnellan also telephoned for Veterinary Surgepn P. R. Powell. 3002 West 25th street Powell ordered the horse shot At 11 o’clock that night Gablesteen put in an appearance at Sechmopzer’s home. After explanations he figured out what It cost, besides the trouble he got into, to move a trunk and two suitcases from Parma. The answer is: One horse, 3150; damaged wagon, 914; services of one veterinary surgeon. 92.

Regal Millinery

Some hats look queenly when poised on even the most prosaic of hat stands, although they are sadly out of place there. They belong on the head of youthful beauty and deserve the adoring admiration which they compel. Two such wonderful- hats are pictured here. One of them is of Lyons velvet, with a feather band in snowy white barred with black, let in about the brim edge. Feathers of a pearllike surface, and hundreds of them are required for this border. Each tiny feather must be exactly placed and sewed, down to a foundation. Such a decoration represents hours, perhaps several days, of painstaking work. Not much more is needed on the hat. Two clusters of white heron are poised on the underbrim where it lifts most from-the face. A folded scarf of satin ribbon is

NEW EFFECTS IN COSTUME

Accessories That Are Unfortunately Hard for the Home Milliner to Copy Properly. Three accessories in matching shades belong with the smart street costume of this season. One of them is the neck piece of chiffon, lace or satin trimmed with fur or feathers and brightened by a tiny nosegay of silken flowers, another is the muff of matching materials and ofttimes of freakish shape, and still, another is the huge rose of velvet and silk entirely in the ruling tone of the boa and the muff. A great, rose, its foliage and Btem all in taupe, may be seem like an absurdity, and so it would be if used alone, but obviously it is the smartest sort of trimming for a hat of white plush or of black velvet that Is worn with a boa and muff of taupe chiffon trimmed taupe ostrich feather fringe or with bands of moleskin. Another horticultural surprise furnished by the milliners is a deep blue rose that belongs with a boa and muff of deep blue brocaded silk, trimmed with bands of ermine. Clasping the neckpiece under the chin and trimming the front side of the rug-shaped muff is a butterfly bow of crocheted white floss, and falling from under it is a shower nosegay of white silk rosebuds mingling with bits of swansdown supposed to represent snowballs. The deep blue rose with its wealth of deep blue foliage is provided as a trimming for whatever hat is to be worn with the boa and muff set. Ail of these accessories are genuine "creations.” For an amateur to attempt to copy them would be to court the discouraged state of mind usually produced by failure.

Spiral Draperies.

Feminine critics of the new draperies which are now in evidence are now asking not only if these are becoming, but also if they are really the point of departure from the treasured fetish of ‘line.” One thing is certain about these’ draperies. At the present moment notMng is so much in the height of fashion as this mode of arranging the gown in spiral-like draperies that twine round the figure and open at the front or at the side to allow more freedom of movement, and also to show the daintiest of hosiery and the prettiest of shoes.

Chinese Crepe.

This fabric is extremely fashionable and many pretty articles are made from it. When it becomes soiled make a strong lather of boiling water and white soap. Allow this to cool and wash the crepe by pressing it with the hands. Rinse It in salty water, to set the colon, and dry In the open air. . Wash the crepe as quickly as possible to prevent the colors from run- . -T ning.

laid flat to the upper brim from side to side. This is one of those triumphs of millinery art of which one cannot grow tired, and which outlives the changing fashions, always a style which will hold its own. It may be worn for many seasons. More picturesque, a big hat made of rich white satin overlaid with richer lace, proclaims the work of an artist. It is a hat to inspire the painter’s brush. The wide, flowing brim is edged with folds of chiffon. The brim has just the right droop. # A collar of velvet is laid about the brim at its junction with the crown and finished in the simplest of ties. Two lovely roses bloom against the under brim, and they may be of any color which the wearer elects, but must be the very best that the flowermaker knows how to produce.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

PRETTY FUR COAT.

A novel fur coat in slightly draped seal-musquash, trimmed with white fox and bordered-with black and white -velvet broche.

Skirt on Tacks.

Most every woman knows that it spoils the shape of a skirt at the hips to hang it on an ordinary coathanger. This difficulty can be overcome by driving two small tacks (one e&ch side of the wire hook), leaving the heads protruding only a little bit Put the tacks just as far apart as the loops on the skirt. A coat can be huhg over this without in the least crushing the skirt

Menu Box.

Keep a box with a Blit in lhe topon the sideboard. Each member of the family is allowed a special wish for the week, and may mail it in the menu box at any time. On Saturday the housekeeper opens the box, tabulates the wishes, and with these as a help makes out a satisfactory menu for the next week.

Gathered Smiles

THAT BALKAN MESB. “George dear, what's all this Balkan trouble"that takes up so much room in the papers?” "I don’t believe you could understand it, my love. You see, it’s largely political, and diplomatic, and —and abstruse.” “How is it political, George?" “That's hard to explain.” “And how is it diplomatic?" “That’s still more complicated." “And why abstruse?” “That’s the hardest of all.” "I thought so, dear. You know nothing about it. And now because you're a busy man. and haven’t time for foreign news, I’m going to explain the whole Balkan situation to you. You see, it was at best —good gracious, he’s asleep!"

A Bargain Offer.

"Cornin’ this way ag'in?” asked the justice of the peace, after he had fined Jlmpson SSO. “I’m afraid I’ll have to,” said Jimpson ruefully. ' “Wa-al,” said the justice, stroking his chin whisker reflectively, “perhaps Td oughter tell ye thet we sell a return fine ticket for $75, entitlin’ ye to immunerty from arrest on the way back.”—Judge.

Views of the Tippers.

“Why is it,” asked the curious guest, “that poor men usually give larger tips than rich men?” “Well, suh,” said the waiter, who was something 'of a philosopher as well, “looks to me like de po’ man don’t want nobody to find out he’s po, and de rich man don’t want nobody to' find, out he’s rich.” —Youth’s Companion.

Scholastic Flippancy.

“And now," continued the professor of history, “permit me to mention a tireless worker in the great cause of humanity—” “Attireless worker?" interrupted one of the seniors; “pardon me, professor, but if you are referring to Lady Godiva, she was attired in her luxuriant hair.”

HIS THOUGHT.

She (romantically)—Oh! for the wings of a dove! He (practically)—The breast of a turkey for mine.

Finnicky.

Some motorists kick At the gasolene odor; They'd like it to smell Like an ice cream soda.

Putting It Delicately.

“Why is it that your son can’t hold a Job? Is he lazy?” “Well, perhaps not exactly that; but I think it may be safe to say that he is a conservative in the matter of earning his living."

After That

"I despise flattery," she said. “Of course you do," he replied. "So does every other girl who is beautiful” “I am glad you have the same feeling that I have about It. I have never met a handsome, sensible man who didn’t feel that way.” After that the evening became unusually pleasant

One of His Worst

The Doctor —Did you hear about that Methodist preacher’s daughter down south who turned sleuth, hunted up the pickpocket who had robbed her of her purse, and finally landed him in the pentitentiary? The Professor—-Good for her! She was an M. E. sis, with a vengeance.

In a Critical Mood.

“Miss Bcreecher has a very good singing voice.” "What does she use it for?" "Why, singing, of course.” "Well, I heard her once, and if she has a good singing voice it is my opinion that she must use it for some other purpose.”

Cured.

"I’m through sympathizing with the under dog from this time on,’’ said little Blnks, ruefully. •‘Oh, now, Binksy!” protested Dorkins. "Yes, I am,” said Blnks. “1 Just tried to help a dachshund out of a row with a bulldog and the beastly little cuss bit me.”

Easily Answered.

Speaker —Why are so many men in prison today? Hearer—Because they can’t get out

Chinese Politeness.

Etiquette requires In Chinese . conversation that each should compliment the other and depreciate himself and all his belongings. A missionary who has just returned heard the following A conversation : “What is your honorable name?" “My Insignificant appellation is Ylng Su.” “Where is your magnificent palace?” j “My contemptible Bhack is at Long Pi.” “How many are your illustrious children?” “I have five vile, worthless brats." “And is your distinguished wife enjoying good health?” “The old ben is pretty well."

A DIPLOMATIC STROKE.

Algernon—Aw—ye know, Adelaide. $ f there’s no use in our disputing any* moah, but I’ll —aw —bet the kissee he, he —that I’m right Adelaide —All right, but I shall claimi the privilege of choosing the stakeholder.

What to Take.

The sky-4s blue and cloudless, too. The sun Is bright and yellow. But take no chances: take Instead Tour tried and true umbrella.

An Explanation.

. The steamboat came splashing along her course at full speed, and the first thing the passengers knew had crashed head on into the pier. “Mercy!" cried a passenger, as the bow crashed and the splinters flew. *T wonder what is the matter?” “Nothin’" said Pat, one of the deckhands. “Nothin’, ma’am—-ut looks to me as if the captain just forgot that we shtop here," —Harper’s'Weekly.

The Electric Coupe.

“There is Something refined and eie> gant about an electric coupe.” "Yes. I dare say it is the most aristocratic vehicle we have and it will probably always be highly respectable.” "Why do you thini so?" - “Because its limitations are such that it will never be a popular vehicle for an early morning Joy ride."

Painfully True.

“When he was younger a fortune teller predicted that a great future was in store for him." "Did the prediction come true?” “Yes, but we didn't know at the time' how the fortune teller spelled the word ‘great’ He’s been peering through a steel grating now for nearly five years.”

A Fabulous Age.

Spratts—Miss Elder is much older than I thought. Hunker —I m possible. Spratts—-Well, I asked her If she had read Aesop’s fables, and she said she read them when they first came out —Home Journal

NO CHANCE.

Judge—Go out and arrest that man for speeding. Constable —But his car has broken down, and he’s trying to fix it... ■ Judge—Then go out and arrest him for obstructing the highway, y

Oh, for That Money Now.

The money spent beside the sea Brought freckle* In a swarm; But now lt’a the cold winter time And they won’t keep her warns.

Competent.

Garside —Women ought not to be allowed to vote. Could a woman ait on a Jury? Hillside —Could she? A woman like my wife could sit on the Jury jnd the Judge and the lawyers and the whole department of justice, if she teok the notion.