Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 289, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 December 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The peace serum does not seem to hare taken in Europe. Nothing withstands the cold breese* like a young girl's white shoes. Unde Sam is short 3,000,000 girls. That number is needed to match the male population. p ..... -- Please note that the burglar whom somebody smashed In the face with a pie got away with it.' A woman gets a hat to fit her face. The fit that the man gets is proportional to the size of the bill. The latest thing in dances is the "horse trot" And probably the next thing to it is the nightmare. Some experts declare that the hobble skirt makes our women knockkneed. We are from Missouri. Poison ivy is full of lovely color In the autumn, but no one should carry It home because of Its loveliness. Los Angeles complains of a school book famine,'but the small boys of that dty are bearing up bravely. They are going to make dollar bills smaller. The grocery man attended to that little detail some time ago. A New York man had his name changed from Arestad to Nightingale. He certainly selected a bird of a name. If the plan to employ policewomen for Chicago is carried out we may expect the crooks to go to carrying mice.* The limit of criticism is reached when one woman says of another: "Why, she doesn’t even make her own bed." Mathematic* tell us the we have been celebrating are frauds But everybody over 30 knew that al/willy. - ■ . . . ■ * Parisian beauties are to be yellow of face instead of pink and white. One moment, please, while we change complexions. A contribution of two cents was received by the Washington conscience fun. Bet the fellow who sent It looks like It, too. A Colorado man had fifteen hives robbed of honey at one time. He must be cultivating the stingless variety of bee. —A Boston doctor says the women of that town are not knockkneed. And he talks like a man who knows whereof he speaks. Somebody is advertising an apparatus for cooking over a gas Jet, but he is no friend to the woman who has a ball bedroom to let There will always be a difference between unlaundered money and tainted money, with plenty of people ready to grab either. A French, expert says that the family is doomed within a half-century through the automobile. Wonder what death rate he figures. The largest stone statue In the world is in Japan. It Is forty-four feet high, accounts for the fact that it is still there. A California Judge refused alimony to a woman who refuses to cook for her spouse. If she’s still cooking for him, what need of alimony? A Chicago bride ran away because her husband would not buy her a new feather for her hat. Trifles fore now overturned empires. The woman conductor on Philadelphia’s street cars Is called a cashier by courtesy. This is, however, no #i«m on conductors in general. A German specialist claims that telephones make the modern man crazy. Until he spoke, It was generally believed the operators were responsible. A New York man was fined for swearing when tickled by a young woman’s hat feathers. Wrong word. He evidently wasn’t tickled. The Fldo muff is the latest armful affected by feminine caprice. Deceased pets do not, however, enter into the composition of this elegant trifle. As a suggestion to a means of preventing so many drownings in the United States navy, it might be a good Idea to teach the sailors how to Awlm. The who married a girl under school age and Is now obliged under a fins to see that his wife goes to school regularly, is somewhat wiser since the fine was Imposed, and perhaps he is obliged to get his own meals. Milk makes as admirable hair tonic, according to the same- prims donna who lately discovered the $15,000 lump of ambergris. Thus is it proved that grand opera is a terrible strain on the Inrsntive powers of the press agent.