Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 277, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1912 — EXCUSE ME! [ARTICLE]

EXCUSE ME!

By Rupert Hughes

Novelized from the Comedy of the Same Name ILLUSTRATED From Photographs of the Ploy as Produced By Henry W. Savaga

Oopjrlffht, IUI, tar M. K. STy Oa 20 SYNOPSIS. Lieut Harry Mallory la ordered to the Philippines. He and Marjorie Newton decide to elope, but wreck of taxicab prevents their seeing minister on the way to the train. Transcontinental train Is taking on passengers. Porter has a'lively time with an Englishman and Ira Lathrop, a Yankee business man. The elopers have an exciting time getting to the train. "Little Jimmie" Wellington, bound for Reno to get a divorce, boards train tn maudlin condition. Later Mrs. Jimmie appears. She is also bound for Reno with came object. Likewise Mrs. Sammy Whitcomb. Latter blames Mrs. Jimmie for her marital troubles. Classmates of Mallory decorate bridal berth.' Rev. and Mrs. Temple start on a vacation. They decide to cut loose and Temple removes evidence of his calling. Marjorie decides to let Mallory proceed alone, but train starts while they are lost In farewell. Passengers join Mallory’s classmates in giving couple wedding hazing. Marjorie Is distracted. Ira Lathrop, woman-hating bachelor, discovers an old sweetheart, Annie Q&ttle, a fellow passenger. Mallory vainly hunts for a preacher among the passengers. Mrs. Wellington hears Little Jimmie’s voice. Later she meets Mrs. Whitcomb. Mallory reports to Marjorie his failure to find a preacher. They decide to pretend a quarrel and Mallory finds a vacant berth. Mrs. Jimmie discovers Wellington on the train. Mallory again makes an unsuccessful hunt for a preacher. Dr. Temple poses as a physician. Mrs. Temple is induced by Mrs. Wellington to smoke a cigar. Sight of preacher on a station platform raises Mallory’s hopes, but he takes another train. Missing hand baggage compels the •couple to borrow from passengers. Jimmie gets a cinder In fits eye and Mrs. Jimmie gives first aid. Coolness is then resumed. Still no clergyman. More borrowing. Dr. Temple puzzled by behavior of different couples. Marjorie’s Jealousy aroused by Mallory’s baseball jargon. Marjorie suggests wrecking the train In hopes that accident will produce a preacher. Also tries to induce the conductor to hold the train so she can shop. Marjorie’s dog Is missing. She pulls the cord, stopping the train. Conductor restores dog and lovers quarrel. Lathrop wires for a £ readier to marry him and Miss Oattle. lallory tells Lathrop of his predicament and arranges to borrow the preacher.

CHAPTER XXVlll.—Continued. Marjorie was overwhelmed, but she felt It becoming In her to be a tritie coy. So she pouted: “But you won’t want me for a bride now, I’m such a fright.” He took the bait, hook and all: “1 never saw you looking so adorable." “Honestly? Oh, but it will be glorious to be Mrs. First Lieutenant Mallory.” “Glorious!” "I must telegraph home —and sign my new name. Won’t mamma be pleased?” “Won’t she?" said Mallory, with Just a trace of dubiety. Then Marjorie grew serious with a new idea: “I wonder if mamma and papa have missed me yet?” Mallory laughed: “After three days’ disappearance, I shouldn’t be surprised.” i “Perhaps they are worrying about me.” “I shouldn’t b 8 surprised.” “The poor dears! I’d better write them a telegram at once.” “An excellent idea.” She ran to the desk, found blank forms and then paused with knitted brow: “It will be very hard to say ail I’ve got to say in ten words." “Hang the expense,” Mallory sniffed magnificently, “I’m paying your bills now." But Marjorie tried to look very matronly: “Send a night letter in the day time! No, indeed, we must begin to economize.” Mallory was touched by this new revelation of her future housewifely thrift He hugged her hard and reminded her that she could send a dayletter by wire. “An excellent idea,” she said. “Now, don’t bother me. You go on and read your paper, read about Mattie. I’ll never be jealous of her —him —of anybody—again." “You shall never have cause for jealousy, my own.” But fate was not finished with the initiation of the unfortunate pair, and already new trouble was strolling in their direction.

CHAPTER XXIX. Jealousy Comes Aboard. Tberi was an air of domestic peace gi the observation room, where Mallory and Marjorie bad been left to Xhemaelves for some time. But the peace was like the ominous hush that precedes a tempest. Mallory was so happy with everythin* coming his way, that he was even making up with Snoozleums, stroking the tatted coat with one hand end holding up his newspaper with the other. He did sot know all that was coming his way. The blissful silence was broken first by MarjorleT “How do you spell Utah?—with a rr “Utah begins with You,’’ he said—and rather liked his wit, listened for tome recognition, and rose to get It, hot she waved him away. “Don’t bother me, honey. Can't you ted I’m busy?” He kissed her hair and sauntered lack, dividing his attention between •neoaleums and the ten-inning game.

And now there was a small commotion irTtha smoking room. . ThrotiSE' the iglass along the corridor the men caught sight of the girl who had got on at Green River. Ashton saw her first and him. "There she goes,” Ashton hissed to the others, “look quick! There’s the nectarine.” \-t \ “My word! She’s ( a little bit of all right, isn’t she?” Even Dr. Temple stared at her with approval: "Dear lijtle thing, isn’t she?” The girl, very consciously unconscious of the admiration, moved demurely along, with eyes downcast, but at such an angle that she could take In the sensation she was creating; she went along picking up stares as If they were bouquets. Her demeanor was a remarkable compromise between outrageous flirtation and perfect respectability. But she was looking back so intently that when she moved Into the observation room she w’alked right into the newspaper Mallory was holding out before him. Both said: ‘T beg your pardon.” When Mallory lowered the paper, both stared till their eyes almost popped. Her amazement was one of immediate rapture. He looked as if he would have been much obliged for a volcanic crater to sink into. “Harry!” she gasped, and let fall her handbag. "Kitty!” he gasped, and let fall his newspaper. Both bent, he banded her the newspaper and tossed the handbag Into a chair; saw his mistake, withdrew the* newspaper and proffered her Snoozleunis. Marjorie stopped writing, pen poised in air, as If she had suddenly been petrified. The newcomer was the first to speak. She fairly gushed: "Harry Mallory—of all people.” “Kitty! Kathleen! Miss Lewellyn!” "Just to think of meeting you again.” “Just to think of it.” “And on this train of all places.” "On this train of all places!” “Oh, Harry, Harry!” “Oh, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!" "You dear fellow, it’s,so long since I saw you last.” “So long.” “It was at that last hop at West Point, remember? —why, it seems only yesterday, and how well you are looking. You are well, aren’t you?” "Not very.” He was mopping his brow in anguish, and yet the room seemed strangely cold. “Of course you look much better in your uniform. You aren’t wearing your uniform, are you?” “No, this is not my uniform.” “You haven’t left the army, have you?” “I don’t know yet.” “Don’t ever do that. You are Just beautiful In brass buttons.” “Thanks.” “Harry!” “What’s the matter now?" “This tie, this green tie, isn’t this the one I knitted you?” . “I am sure I don’t know, I borrowed it from the conductor.”

“Don’t you remember? I did knit you one.” “Did you? I believe you did! I think I wore it out." "Oh, you fickle boy. But see what I have. What’s this?” He stared through the glassy eyes of complete helplessness. “It looks like a bracelet.” “Don’t tell me you don’t remember this! —the little bangle bracelet you gave me.” "D-did I give you a baygled branglet?” * “Of course you did. And the inscription. Don’t you remember it?” She held her wrist in front of his aching eyes and he perused as if it were his own epitaph, what she read aloud for him. “From Harry to Kitty, the Only Girl I Ever Loved.” “Good night!” he sighed to himself, and began to mop his brow with Snoozleums. "You put it on my arm,” said Kathleen, with a moonlight sigh, "and I’ve always worn it." “Always?" “Always! no matter whom I was engaged to.” The desperate wretch, who had not dared even to glance in Marjorie’s direction, somehow thought he saw a straw of self-defense. “You were engaged to three or four others when 1 was at West Point” “I may have been engaged to the others," said Kathleen, moon-eyeing him, “but I always liked you best, Clifford —er, Tommy—l mean Harry." “You got me at last." Kathleen fenced back at this: “Well, I’ve np doubt you have had a dozen affairs since.” “Oh, no! My heart has only known one real love.” He threw this over her head at Marjorie, but Kathleen seized it. to his greater confusion: “Oh, Harry, how sweet of you to say it. It makes me feel positively faint," and she swooned bis way, but he shoved a chair forward and let her collapse Into that. Thinking and hoping that she was unconscious, he made ready to escape, but she caught himhy the coat, and moaned: “Where am I?” and he growled back: “In the Observation Car!" Kathleen’s life and enthusiasm returned without delay: “Fancy meeting you again! I could just scream." “So could» I." , “you must come up in our car and see mamma." "Is Ma-mamma with you?" Mallory stammered, on the verge of imbecility. V A f “Oh, yes, indeed, we’re going around the world." “Don’t let me detain you.” ', “Papa is going round the world also.” " V “Is papa on this train, too?" At last something seemed to em-

barrass her a trine: “No, papa wen* on ahead. MfLfllMA 115P6S M OVGrthß* him. But papa Is a very good traveler." Then she changed the Subject. “Do come and meet mamma. It would cheer her up so. She is so fond of you. Only this morning she was saying, ‘Of all the boys you were ever engaged to, Kathleen, thp one I like most of all was Edgar—l mean Clarence—er —Harry Mallory.” “Awfully kind of her,” “You must coine and see her —she’s some stouter uow! ” .— * “Oh, is she? Well, that’s good.”. Mallory was too angry to be sane, and too helpless to take advantage of his anger. He wondered how he could ever have cared for this molasses and mucilage girl. He remembered now that she had always had these same cloying ways. She had always pawed him and, like everybody but the pawere, he hated pawing. It would have been bad enough at any time to have Kathleen hanging on lis coat, straightening his tie, leaning close, smiling up in htg eyes, losing him his balance, recapturing him every time he edged away. But with Marjorie as the grim witness It was maddening. He loathed and abominated Kathleen Llewellyn, and If she had only been a man, he could cheerfully have beaten her to a pulp and chucked her out of the window. But because she was a helpless little baggage he had to be as polite as he could while she sat and tore his plans to pieces, embittered Marjorie’s heart against him, and either ended all hopes of their marriage, or furnished an everlasting rancor to be recalled In every quarrel to their dying day. Oh, etiquette, what injustices are endured in thy name!

So there he sat, sweating his soul’s blood, and able only to spar for time and wonder when the gong would ring. And now she was off on a new tack: "And where are you bound for, Harry, dear?” “The Philippines,” he said, and for the first time there was something beautiful In their remoteness. “Perhaps we shall cross the Pacifio on the same boat." The first sincere smile he had experienced came to him: “I go on an army transport, fortu —unfortunately.” “Oh, I just love soldiers. Couldn’t mamma and I go on the transport? Mamma Is very fond of soldiers, too.” “I’m afraid it couldn’t be arranged.” “Too bad, but perhaps we ican stop off and pay you a visit. I just lovo army posts. So does mamma.” “Oh, do!" “What will be your address?” “Just the Philippines —just the Phflippines.” “But aren’t there quite a few of them?” “Only about two thousand.” “Which one will you be on?” “I’ll be on the third from the left," said Mallory, who nether knew nor cared what he was saying. Marjori# had endured all that she could stand. She rose in a tightly leashed fury. "I’m afraid I’m in the way.” Kathleen turned in surprise. Sh# had not noticed that anyone was near. Mallory went out of his head completely. “Oh, don’t go—for heaven’s sake don’t go,” he appealed to Marjorie. “A friend of yours?" said Kathleen, bristling. “No, not a friend,” In a chaotic tangle, “Mrs. Miss—Miss—Er—er—er —” Kathleen smiled: "Delighted to meet you, Miss Ererer.” “The pleasure is all mine,” jorie said, with an acid smile. “Have you known Harry long?" said Kathleen, jealously, “or are you Just acquaintances on*the train?” “We’re just acquaintances on tho train!” “I used to know Harry very wellvery well inded.” "So I should Judge. You wont mind If I leave you to talk over old times together?" “How very sweet of you.” ’’Oh, don’t mention it” “But, Marjorie,” Mallory cried, as she turned away. Kathleen started at the ardor of his tone, and gasped: "Marjorie! Then he—you—” “Not at all—not in the least,” said Marjorie. At this crisis the room was suddenly inundated with people. Mrs. Whitr comb, Mrs. Wellington, Mrs. Tempi# and Mrs. Fosdlck, all trying to look like bridesmaids, danced In, shouting: “Here they come! Make way for the bride and groom!” i (TO BE CONTINUED.)