Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 243, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 October 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

County fairs are an infallible lnttt eaticn of cooler weather. Missouri's peanut crop is short, bul the country's crop of peanut politic* to a wonder. A paragraphist asks: “is poker • gambling game?” Not with torn* dealers we know. - Dr. Anna Shaw, who avers thal women will fill men’s shoes, presumably refers to Chicago women. Man went to attend the funeral ol his mother-in-law and found her alive. And vet some people are not satisfied with their lob A motorcyclist, to be sure, might give the girl behind him some sort ol handlebar to cling to, but he usually seems to prefer the hug. ? Still, there Is nothing to show that a “synthetic” rubber tire will be cheaper or last any longer than the kind you have always bought. If stimulating the thyroid gland will make men taller, scientists ought to be able to tap something or other to make men wiser, handsomer and better. “Pie,” says an exchange, “is' an expression of the soul.” Yet most of us have been under the impression that the expressions were due-to nightmare. Philadelphia judge is at a loss to decide whether a lobster suffers when It is boiled, but it is a well known fact that a lobster suffers when he pays for one. When Eve dolled up in the new spring style fig leaf Adam, no doubt, wrote a letter to the newspaper complaining about the shocking styles of the day. Since a New York man has established a farm to raise butterflies, it is reasonable to suppose that some other man will soon start to raising butterIne files. Add to the list of pessimists the man who last spring bought an Expensive lawn hose witiy money that he might have used in pursuit of pleasure. tive nation you should note that 66 per cent, of the world’s telephone calls in 1911 were registered in the United States. Man is a queer animile. He arises In righteous indignation at the thought of a woman wearing socks, and yet risks an eye when one climbs on a street car. Woman in New Jersey, whose husband refused to take her to a moving picture, show, deftly hit him on the head with an ax. Ax and you shall receive, as it were. According to one estimate, it costs SIO,OOO a year to keep a hydroplane in commission. One could keep a white elephant for that 6um, and not have half the trouble. After a Brooklyn woman had run the house thirty-five weeks on $55 her husband left her, saying that she was no wife for a poor man. Evidently she overfed the brute! It has been established that the ancient Egyptians had the hookworm. And despite all their wisdom they apparently lacked thymol and epsom salts. » - The South Jersey peach crop is said to be the greatest ever known. A peach of a crop, as It were.

A lobster may suffer when It Is being cooked, but think of the agony of the lobster who foots the bill. A bad —very bad —sign of the times Is that convicts are gaining the sympathic ear of justice by writing bad pathetic ear of Justice by writing bad Ing public is alarming. An English physician says that In 800 years the majority of the people on earth will be insane. Judging by the political arguments, a lot of them won’t have to wait that long. An inventor has completed a machine for making cheap cigarettes at the rate of 15 a minute, and now all that is required is a cheap, noncorroslve machine to consume them. Another actress has obtained a divorce from her husband, bat will not, we fear, cause the press agents to cease complaining about the popularity of the moving picture shows. a In the midst of new sensations and startling developments the unloaded pistol is stJHf killing Its victims in the good old-fashioned way. Ohio women have formed, an antigossip league. Such charity ought to cover even the fashionable sins of the hobble skirt and the cigarette. Some jwomen are bora beautiful, but statistics show that a great many more have beauty thrust upon them by society reporters who write up their .weddings.