Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 239, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 October 1912 — Page 3

THAT TWO DOLLAR BILL

lOr, Lost on the High Road to S Happiness. ■ J '■ ' ' SB By HARMONY WELLER. Irma came hurriedly out of the big department store and glanced along the street. She looked at her small timepiece and her brows puckered. “It is late already!** she said to herself, and made straightway for the imotor car which stood at the curb. Urma supposed It was a taxi. “Drive me quickly to 09 Riverside drive,** she commanded the chauffeur. The man cast a quizzical glance at the dainty person who had taken him lor a taxi driver. “Did you hoar what I said?” Inquired Irma, half impatiently. “Yes —miss.” The man touched his cap, and with another odd smile that irritated the girl he stepped out to crank his machine. Irma settled herself with a Uttle flutter of exhaustion into the corner and took out het. list of purchases. So intent was she upon making out her rather large expense account that ■she did not glance up until she realized that the motor had swung in to [the curb at 09 Riverside drive. She glanced quickly up to see, from Ithe indicator, what her fare was. Her iblood seemed suddenly to .rush over her being In a hot wave. Had she deliberately stepped into a private motor? There was no indicator and no "For Hire” ticket on the front of ithe taxi. Irma stepped out and faced the ■chauffeur. "HoW much do I owe you?*’ ' ehe asked, trying not to color under ithe very steady eyes of the good-look-tag driver. “The indicator is not ithere.” „ She stood there, her lovely eyes iseeming to challenge him to tell her she had made a mistake. Yet stirring within her was a desire to return the smiles that still lurked In the man’s eyes. Because of that desire Irma repeated her demand. “Will you kindly tell me how much I owe you?" Because of the growing wrath in her eyes the driver fabricated quickly. ”My indicator is in the repair ehop. Since I have no idea of the distance we will forget the fare.” "We will do nothing of the kind’” contradicted Inna. She opened her great Cavalier bag and drew forth a , $2 frill. "That is about what, J generally pay,” she said, and extended the money. “I refuse to take It.” Irma looked back at him for a moment, conscious that her cheeks were flaming and her eyes sparkling. After a second she opened the door of the motor and flung the money within. “If you want to do the taxi people out of their money there Is no reason why I should help you,” she said, and went Into the house. It pleased her to notice that the driver was angry. He swung his machine around so suddenly that for a second It was about to tarn turtle, but it kept to its four wheels and went off down the drive.

When it was well out of sight Norman Mac Vane stopped his motor and stepped out. He opened the door, picked up the bill that Inna .Vickery had thrown therein, folded.it carefully and put it in his waistcoat pocket He smiled as he did so. but there was lurking Irritation in the smile. He cranked the engine, lumped in and whirled at the speed limit back to the shop whence he had come. An irate sister was waiting there with eyes that flashed indignantly at him. "Where in the world have you been?” she asked reproachfully. If Grace noticed the flush on her brother’s face she supposed it was dur to herscolding. - ."You said you would be about thirty minutes,” he told her, because he l «Md not know exactly how to mention his escapade. “I am awfully sorry, but you see, sis, I am not used to ’chauffing.’ Where to now?” Grace smiled at her big, good-look-ing brother. “I want to go up to ■Lilly's for tea —but it is rather late.” "And where does Lilly happen to live?” “09 Riverside drive.” Norman started and changed color. Then he smiled. Perhaps ? Yes, perhaps he might see his dainty "fare” again. '■'“'".T./ "Lilly must be having an afternoon tea,” he said without thinking. Fortunately, Grace had been getting into her motor and his words had fallen on deaf ears. Again Norman stopped at 09. “Dear," Grace told him sweetly, "if you have anything else to do you need not call for me at 5. I can take the car home.” , . "I have nothing else to do, sis.” Norman told her with surprising alacrity. "I will be here promptly at Irma Vickery had been sitting in the window. She started and leaned forward as Grace Me Vane alighted* from her motor. Irma’s heart fluttered. The driver was her own special chauffeur and Grace had not even offered to pay him. > Irma sank back with relief. It would be much easier to feel that she had unconsciously used the motor of a friend than that of a stranger. Irma glanced out again and blushed violentJy. The chauffeur had seen her in the window and with, a swift motion had Insured her secrecy by pressing a finger to his Ups. j . ~r The machine glided off and Irma turned to greet the newcomer, , "You are so lata, Grace,” Lilly said by way of w elcome.

"I have a new chauffeur,” explained Grace with a peculiar smile. "He kept me waiting while I was. shopping. Oh, I have the dearest new frock! I must tell you all about It!” And Grace went forthwith Into a long description of her latest extravagance, not knowing that Irma Vickery was palpitating with the force of her curiosity regarding that same chauffeur. An hour or so later It was Irma who made the movement to go. As she arose the honk, honk of a motor horn sounded. . “Oh," exclaimed Grace | remorsefully, “my car was to be here at B and it is now 5:16. Lilly, dear, we have had a lovely time; do coma soon and see me!” Out In the vestibule Grace turned to the other girls: "Come on, all of you, Into my motor. I will drop you all out along the way.” Irma stayed behind hoping to be overlooked, but Grace linked her iarm with that of the shrinking girl and drew her down the steps. "I most especially want you,” whispered Grace so that the others might not hear. "My brother Is here for a few weeks and I do want him. to meet you. He has been a perfect angel today and played chauffeur for me since Jackson is off.” Grace drew Irma close to the motor and Introduced her to the man with his hand on the wheel. “There Is pot room inside for all that bunch,’! Norman Mac Vane said quickly; “some one will have to sit outside with the driver. Do you mind, Miss Vickery?" “I much prefer It,” said the girl frankly. “Besides," she laughed, "perhaps I can inveigle you into giving me back my two-dollar bill." “Never!” decided Norman, as he whirled away from the' curb. ”1 am going to have that framed for my room.” “I would like to bare it framed for my room,” suggested Irma. “Could we not tear It and each have half?" Norman was silent for a moment, then he looked at her. "I know a far better way than that of settling the difficulty.” “And we would’nt have to tear the bill?” asked Inna. "No.” “Norman,” came through the speak-ing-tube in Grace’s laughing voice, “where In the world are you taking us?” Norman looked about. He was far from the right locality. As he spoke back to his sister his eyes were on Irma. “I seem to have become lost on the road, sis.” Then to Irma he added, "On the high road to—to hap plness.” r . (Copyright. 1812. by^/ ssociated Literary

AMERICANS FIRST IN TALK

Statistics, Notably of the Telephone, Prove the Pre-eminence of X This Country. We Americans are the greatest talkers in the world. It might be hard tq demonstrate that fact beyond the reasonableness of a doubt, so far as ordinary conversation is concerned, but when measured in talk over the telephone our primacy is undisputable. Statistics carefully compiled for the American Telephone and Telegraph company, based on actual figures of the number of Instruments and wire mileage in use in all quarters of the globe and other exchange data, warrant an estimate of 22,000 million talks transmitted by telephone in the year 1911, of which 14,500 million were within the borders of the United slates. Of every 100 telephone talks wb Americans perpetrate 66, so that the combined number for all the rest of the world is but one-half of ours.

Our facilities for talking is also illustrated by the relative use we make of the telephone as compared with telegraph and letter mall. Taking only Europe and the United States, European letter talks In 1900 were three times over those of the wire, while in this country the telephone messages were half again as many as those that went by mall. —Omaha Bee.

Moisture Necessary to Health.

The bloom on the cheeks of British maidens is said to be due to the fact that they live amid a moist atmosphere all the year round. Conversely, the pallid and saffron tint of the average American complexion Is, to a very great extent, the outcome of the overheated apartments In which fashion and builders condemn us to pass our days and nights. It would therefore seem that there is a real need of a radical revolution in our system of house-heating. Our theories, as they are generally put into practice, are woefully wrong and wears made to pay the price of our blunders. Until vfe exchange our superheated and badly-ventilated rooms for those in which the air is moderately warm and constantly sweet, consumption'and catarrh, bodily weakness and "quirky” nerves, bad complexions and. premature decay of womanly charms are inevitable. —Physical Culture.

The Line of Astor.

The first John Jacob Astor was born in the village of Waldorf, Germany, in Joly, 1784, and died in New York in March, 1848. His son, John Jacob Astor 11., who was weak mentally, was born in 1796 and died in 1834 without Issue. John Jacob As-, tor 111., son of William R Astor, died in December, 1887. John Jacob Astor IV., his nephew, was the Colonel Astor who died on the Titanic, and he was the only son of William B. Astor 11. William Waldorf Astor, whose young son is the fifth to bear the name, is a cousin of the late Colonel Astor and son st John Jacob m.

IN TROPICAL COLOMBIA

IT is the only story of hardship, adventure and danger in the search for treasure that Mr. George T. Kenly of Baltimore can tell his friends when they Induce him to talk. Mr. Kenly-, who is a civil and mining engineer, recently returned from an arduous trip in the United States of Colombia, In South America, whither he went prospecting for the International Land Improvement company, which has offices In this city. He expects to leave again within two weeks to prosecute his work further in-the tropical country. ■ ■ The Baltimorean, with Mr. Louis F. de Montmorency, also an engineer, and with Luis, a native guide, and an Indian boy, Patronina, traveled more than 1,000 miles on a round trip into the wilds of Colombia and out of them. •The party found what It went after — gold, as well as other minerals, Including coal, but Mr. Kenly says there is as much wealth above ground as under its surface. He brought a bottle of gold with him; the other things he could not bring, because when wealth Is in the shape of giant mahogany trees six feet in diameter they are a blt z unhandy to carry. "I left. Baltimore last July,” said Mr. Kenly, “and joined Mr. Montgomery in Panama. We started our real exploration from Barranqullla, the heavy work beginning 300 miles from that town. Part of our journey lay on a route that took us up the Magdalena and other rivers, and part of It was over the roughest mountain trails man ever encountered, where the jungle lay on each side of us as an Impenetrable wall. "Boatmen we hired to take us in their native canoes as we needed them, and one such journey was 200 miles long. For land service we hired packmen or porters, and upon one trip of forty miles we had, besides our original party of four, ten packmen and two oxen. To add to our difficulties we traveled in the rainy season when the water at times poured down In sheets for hours at a time. “This forty miles consisted of only a cattle trail, and 200 cattle had gone over it only a few hours before. They go in single file, each planting his feet in thj foot-steps of the one In front and into these deep slippery holes we had to walk, for there is not so much as six inches of foot-way beside the narrow trail.

"The canoes down there are dugouts, made by the natives from the massive trees that fill the wilderness. They run anywhere from ten feet long up to a great boat such jis we used on 200 miles of our journey. This canoe was sixty feet long and four feet wide and had been worked out of a monster mahogany log that was without a blemish. About twenty-five feet of the forward part of this boat was occupied by the four naked natives, who propelled it. They know nothing of rowing or paddling. The boats are poled along, and the skill and strength displayed in ascending a river against a current of five miles an hour is wonderful.

How Craft Are Poled. “One boatman goes to the bow and sticks his twenty-flve-foot pole Into the mud at the river bottom. Then, placing his shoulder to it, he walks back along the footway to its end, pushing the boat along. Each In turn goes forward, for, this poling, and at the end of the footway he pulls his pole from the-mud, holds It aloft and marches to the bow again, letting his companions pass under his arms and pole. “But to pole a boat * the canoeist must keep near shore where it is not too deep and where, unfortunately, the jungle foliage overhangs. This is where the pole often strikes the leaves and dislodges millions of mosquitoes, brings down a shower of vicious ants, frequently a snase and, worst of all, a species of black wasp which is the most dreaded of all. Its sting-is so strange and powerful that< it seems to strike a man as if with a blow from a Jim Jeffries, and the result is the same, the man goes down and out. All of us, including the boatmen, were scared enough when the snakes dropped in on us, but the reptiles seemed equally scared and scrambled out. But when the wasps were seen the natives scarcely breathed for fear of disturbing them. “In canoeing your way on these rivers through a temperature in the sunlight of 140 degrees to 150 degrees there are no stopping places save where a shack can be seen on shore. There you are sure of a clearing and. by the way, a welcome. Always you

put up for the night at such a shack, and most' of them are a day’s journey apart from one another. You cannot stop on the river bank because the jungle comes to the water’s edge. "The canoemen will not run at night if they can avoid it, because snags might overturn the boat and the immense alligators that are in the waters In great numbers like nothing se much as company. They have no choice between dark and light meat “But when you go to the friendly shack you can get some sort of a night’s rest, even though it will be found densely populated, too. We went to one shack, about twelve feet square, that contained twenty-two grown persons, Including eighteen men and four women, ten children, fourteen dogs and a lot of frogs and chickens. These Inhabitants were not hampered by furniture. All the human beings were eating out of one pot. “These, with our party, slept In this place that night. A number of the natives and children scrambled up to a roost that had been made by placing bamboos across from side to side of the house at the eaves. Two of our own party had hammocks. We had also mosquito nets and blankets. “The people in Colombia have no idea of time, distance or haste. At one place they thought I was an impatient man because I kicked at a Uttle steamer being four <|ays late. Once the clnoemen wanted to stop a day’s journey at 3 p. m. because the next shack was too far away. We tried to travel each morning at daybreak, but couldn’t get the boatsmen to going until 7 or 8 o’clock. When we were caught on the river one inkynight with the rain pouring down the wonderful Instinct of the boatmen came out. One fellovir lay in the bow and detected every snag ahead of us. He saw and heard and even smelled his way, Suddenly he exclaimed In Spanish: “I smell smoke! Steer the boat In here!” He.ran the canoe within five feet of a shack and we called out to the people and one appeared with a burning ember. Venomous Snakes Abound.

“On our.land Journeys small venomous snakes gave us most concern. Lying coiled up on the trail, only the sharp eyes of the natives could discern them. We had practically to shoot our path through them as they were pointed out On one occasion two native blacks and the Indian boy passed a snake without seeing it We saw but one boa constrictor, but were often near them, as we know by the peculiar odor they give off. These snakes grow thirty-five feet long and a foot thick. “We saw hundreds of thousands of water fowls, including many food ducks. Birds of the most brilliant plumage about and there are parrots, macaws, cockatoos, and pink, white and black herons. Monkeys, deer, wild turkeys and wild pigs abound, and some of the monkeys are as big as a five-year-old child. These are esteemed as a great delicacy by the natives, and I killed two of them for our packmen. “We saw tiger prints, which, from their great size and the evidences of the animal’s stride, indicated a beast twelve feet long. There was possibly a lively time tn store for somebody, as the tiger had evidently been trailing the prints of a big black man’s bare foot. This was only a mile from a village where the night before the tiger got three hogs. "We found one native whom the tiger had visited tko nights before. The man went around to his house to shoo the beast away. It ran around ahead of him, slipped into the door and the last the man saw of it it was scooting through the gloom with his child in its mouth.. Jt was also the last he saw of the child. “On one part of our overland trip #e had to. make a forced march, because the difficulties had caused us to lighten our load ot provisions. We walked for thirteen hours on a stretch, doing from three to four miles an hour over the rough trail. Night found us with -a river between ns and a shack, and our immediate party caught hold of hands and walked across, with water up to our arm pits. We formed our human chain to steady ourselves, for the current was strong. “Luckily, in this wild land of no roads I did not tall sick of malaria, but at one time while on a river Mr. Montgomery and Luis, the guide, and two boatmen had the breakbone fever; acclimated as they were. The principal objece of our search was, however, found In higher and healthier lands. As explorers, though, we had io go through all the dangers."

MEN OF THE FIRST REPUBLIC Type of the Soldiers With Whom the Great Napoleon Swept All Europe.

Another contribution to "Napoleoniana” is the collection of memoirs and letters of the army surgeon, Baron Desgnettes, who was with the Egyptian expedition. One day he found Eugene Beauharnais asleep in the sand in the desert of Ramanieh. "Wake up, Eugene, wake up! This repose does not suit either your name or profession. A man of war must be without rest and without pity.” On another occasion Napoleon had condemned several of his pet Grenadiers to death for looting and murder. His reflections, made to Desgnettes, are worth quoting: “My sentence on the Grenadiers of the Thirty-second regiment cost me dear, but I was obliged to do it. A commander-in-chief must have a tremendous power. How can you reasononably question the right of a man to whom the state sometimes entrusts the lives of a hundred thousand troops to punish such serious offenses as he deems fit? I convicted these Grenadiers before punishing them! When I seized Antoine by the collar and said to him: 'Come, miserable wretch, and let me confront you with your accomplice, ' he was confounded“But what men!—fellows to win a battle by themselves! Perhaps the corporal has won some. You did not see how they died? Like Caesars, showing their affection for me. One of their comrades went to drink with them in prison, and remarked: 'Perhaps there was some truth in the charge, else Bonaparte would not have condemned you.’ 'Be silent,’ was the answer; 'you do not know what you are saying; he was deceived again, as he often has been before, but no matter —let us drink to his health.' And when the time came for the execution, they marched steadily out and stood calmly before the firing party, saying: 'This is how the Grenadiers of the Thirty-second die.’ Afterward the officers came to see me, but I would not receive them; but, faith! I pity those upon whom the Thirty-second may fall on the first occasion that presents itself for them to wipe out the remembrance of all this.”

Macaroni Fakes.

“Theyi even fake macaroni,” said a pure food man. “Nothing is cheaper than macaroni, thanks to which Italian bank clerks can live on |4 a week, but In this benighted, money-mad land of ours the food trust millionaires insist on faking it “But you can tell fake macaroni— It is perfectly straight. The real has bent ends, for it has been dried in hairpin in shape, slung over a rail, and, when it is broken for boxing, the bent ends show. “The real macaroni is made of a semi-transparent wheat from southern Europe and Algeria, a hard wheat extraordinarily rich In gluten and other nitrogenous matter. Real macaroni is tender, yellowish, elastic, rough in texture. It boilsg without becomin sticky or losing its tubular shape. “But the fake stuff, made of cheap domestic wheat, is very tender. Hence it must be dried flati slung over a rail to dry, it would fall to pieces, and hence its straight shape, its lack of the characteristic curved ends. It is an ugly white, too, instead of a rich yellow in color. Boiled, it is apt to break, up-and collapse. Eaten, there is little nourishment and less taste to 1L”

Lely the Painter.

Sir William Lely had agreed for the price of a portrait he was to draw for a rich London aiderman, who was not indebted to nature either for shape or face. The picture being finished, tbe aiderman endeavored to beat down the price, saying that if he did not purchase it it would remain on the painter’s hands. “That’s a mistake,” said Sir William, "for I can sell it at double the price I demand." "How can that be?” says the aiderman, "for it is like no one but me.” “True," replied Sir William, “but I will draw a tail to it and then it will be a capital monkey.” The aiderman at once paid down the money demanded and carried off the picture.

Automobile Artillery.

Efforts are being made by the powers toward the adaptation of the auto mobile to the transportation of field artillery. It has been pointed out that the idea of a self-moving gun carriage for field guns was suggested as early as tbe year 1769 by the engineer, Cugnot At present efforts are principally directed to the perfection of a form of automobile suitable to take tbe place of horses in drawing the artillery wagons. Many different forms of ironclad automobiles, carrying light guns, have already been invented and tested, with more or less success, but, it is said, the main problem is to adapt the automobile to tbe transportation of guns mounted, as at present, on their own carriages.

Nature's Sun Dial.

There Is no need for clocks on the Aegean sea any day when the sun is shining. There nature does not vary, though the centuries pass. The natural time-marker is the largest' sun dial la the world. Projecting into the blue wafers of the sea is a large promontory which lifts Its head 3,000 feet above the waves. As the sun swings round the pointed shadow of the mountain just touches one after the other of a number of small islands, which are at exact distances apart and act as hour marks on the great dial.

STORIES of CAMP AND WAR

GEN. LYON’S BODY RECOVERED Graphic Story Related by Dr. Melcher* Who Brought Corpse Out of the | Confederate Lines. ?<‘l Samuel H. Melcher, who now live* at 2327 West Jackson boulevard, Chicago, obtained the body of Gen. Lyoa from Gen. Price after the tattle of Wilson’s Creek and carried ft Into the Union lines, accompanied by a volunteer escort of confederate soldlsrs. I» his capacity of army surgeon Dr. MeL? cher was Immune from capture and Imprisonment by th# enemy and made his way without trouble to Gen. Price’s headquarters, assisted by a friendly colonel. He can speak authoritatively on the much discussed subject ofi Gen. Lyon’s garb at the time of the battle and states that the general waa dressed In military uniform. The story of the recovery of the body la told tai Dr. Melcher's own words as follows:! "When Col. Sigel’s reserve, which had retreated on the Wire road south, halted at the Thompson farm some of the men brought to me Gen. Rains' division surgeon, Smith, who had been captured while coming with help for. the wounded. I had him immediately released and we started tack on tta Wire road In the direction the fighting had taken place to look for wounded* Dr. Smith took the lead through the timber and proceeded In a northwest-? erly direction until we reached a large confederate emergency hospital, close by a big spring. "Receiving information that most of the wounded of the last part Of the battle were being attended to near the creek, we set out in that direction and were soon in the road crossing over Bloody hill. The position of the dead on both sides of our path showed how* terrible the struggle had been. Ont each side of the road were dead sol-1 dlers, the gray on one side and the blue on the other. Afte/going a Shortt time we started to count and, as wr did not wish to go back, we estimated?! that there were 300 or 400 on both sides of the path. M "Upon dismounting at the hospital the first and only person that I recognized was the long haired Col. Emmet McDonald, a young lawyer of St. Louis, one of the most outspoken secessionists. When he was taken at the capture of Camp Jackson in St. Louis he absolutely refused to be paroled and was accordingly brought to the arsenal and held a prisoner. , "As I had occa£on several timea| each day to pass the tent where Mo« Donald was held, I saw him standing In front of the entrance dressed in a* sort of French uniform, with? his arms folded, his ey«B glistening, his swarthy countenance seeming to threaten vengeance If he should ever HI free again. I had never met him and had no ill will, whatever opinion he might have, and so, as I passed, t ? simply touched my cap, and to mtjrj surprise he seemed each time to soften a little and touched his in return. . "So, when I saw him step quickly toward me as I entered the confed- . erate camp after the battle of Wilson’s Creek, and warmly take me by the hand, I was somewhat surprised. After talking a moment in regard to the wounded he Informed me thata Gen. Lyon was killed. Instantly> I said: ' 'Can I have his body?’ He at once said: ’Come with-me and see.’ He went with me directly to Gen. Price’s headquarter* and, as he had never known Ay name, he saifiiL?/ •This Is Gen. Lyon’s surgeon. He wishes the body. I want you to give it to him. He is the only officer who treated me decently in the arsenal.* g| "Gen. Price, who was dressed as an ordinary citizen, with no Insignia of rank except a black leather belt tag which was a small Colt’s revolver, held out his hand in a fatherly manner and we clasped hands. Turning ? to Gen. Rains, he asked if He knew* where the body was. Replying In affirmative, Gen. Rains was ordered to bring it for identification. In perhaps twenty minutes a wagon drove up, ants f I was asked to examine the contents. Upon raising the blanket which cov-?| ered the face of the dead man 1 at once recognize our general. "Gen. Rains asked: ‘What is your pleasure?’ and I replied that I would; like to have the body carried to tta ; Ray house. “As soon as a coffito could be made the body was taken to the Phelpa farm. After the body had been on hibition for several days Gen. Price ? ordereo It buried. This was ddhe Aug./ 14 by Col. Snead, who says: 1 buried him by Instructions from Gen. Price, and I said as I put him in the “That is the greatest enthusiast I ever./ saw and the greatest man.”' Aug. 2» an undertaker from St. Louis party of relatives came and had the - body exhumed and it was taken

Picture on the Greenbacks.

One summer during the administration of Secretary Chase, when the treasury was more than usually he had .occasion to visit some troops that had not been paid off for a long time. Among the men was one with, whom he was acquainted, but did nob seem to recognise the whereupon he introduced himself. “Oh. yes! you’re Mr. Chase, Secretary of the Treasury. It's so lon® since we have seen your 'picture' I had almost forgotten you."