Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 234, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 September 1912 — The Fat and Thin Men Reune. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Fat and Thin Men Reune.

The fat man stood on the corner, hi» ears hidden by a huge fur collar, his hands stuck deep In the pockets of his heavy overcoat, and a big cigar smoldr erlng luxuriously between his lips., The thin man, his nose red with cold,. his eyes watering, his hat pulled down, until it flattened ,hls ears, his collar turned up in an unsuccessful attempt to conceal his Adam’s apple, hi* 1 trousers flapping about his legs, fidgeted to the corner also, and waited, for a car. “Why, hel-lo!” exclaimed the fat man. “Happy New Year to ye! Goshli You look cold. But worse ’n that, you look as If you was dyln’ for a smoke. Ain’t ye?” /' • j, The thin man snapped his eyelids to rid them of the frost, but answered, nothing. “Ho, ho!” laughed the,fat man, hls< cigar rolling to the corner of hisi mouth in order to allow the laughter l to roll out. “Good resolution, eh?’ Smokin’s’s a bad habit, huh? Rubs up, expenses, an’ affects the heart, an" gets a man to tblnkln' he can’t do l anything without one o’ the vile weeds 1 stuck in his mouth. I know all about: it. Know just how you feel.” The thin man looked nervously down: the street for the car, but It wasn’t im sight. The fat man continued: “Bet you’re just dyln’ right now for a smoke. Huh? How you’d enjoy a. fieal, nice, big, soft, oily cigar! Been, a real good man now for two whole days—an’ there’s no livin’ with you at: home. Sure! When you get up from; the table you stick your fingers in your vest pocket absent-minded-like, reachin* for one o’ the enemies of; health! Then you recollect about your halo an’ wings, an’ growl around a while. Ho, ho, ha, ha!” The fat man shook all over with joy, while the thin man trembled all over 1 and gave one the impression he re- 1 celves when he .sees a dog shiver in, the wind. You could fairly see the thin man’s skin wrinkle. The fat man’ went on: “I’ll bet that right now you are thinkin’ o’ how fine it’d be to bite the end off a grea’ big cigar an’ light it, an’ feel th’ warm smoke curl up over your nose, an’.smell th’ perfume of It! Huh! Oh, how you would enjoy that! Like to pull on it like this” — The fat man took a long puff, then, exhaled a perfect cloud of smoke,, through which came his further remarks: “An’ you miss th’ company of it. You don’t know what to do without a cigar to chew on when you think, an* kind o’ puff slow-llke while you digest' your meals, an’ to hold ’tween your fingers while you read th’ paper, an’ to—Oh! Ouch! What’s th’ matter with you, anyhow?" But the thin man, having smashed: the fat man’s cigar into his fur collar with one hand and applied a vicious short jab with the other, was hastening on to the next corner to resume waiting for the ear.