Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 233, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 September 1912 — Page 3

Tales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

Georgia Copper in New York Has Cash in Socks

NEW YORK.—He flamed out to be a policeman from Awgustah, Gawgia, but he also closely resembled a walking safety deposit box. He was a money-lined cop all right. He came here several days ago and went to Coney Island. p.- 1 A postal card found in his pocket, which he had forgotten to mail, read: “I am having a great time.” Another ot a later date had on It: “I am having a h —l of a time.” He came up from Coney the other day, and at 14th street and Broadway he smiled a great deal, danced a bit and was telling a crowd how be was enjoying hJs Btay. Then he met Patrolman Schwartz of the Mercer Btreet station. He flashed his badge on Schwartz, slapped him on the back and became so friendly that Schwartz affably invited him to come around to the “house” and meet Lieutenant Bauer. The Aw* ghstah cop accepted the invitation

How Mayor Fitzgerald Picked Out the Right Cow

BOSTON, Mass. —Mayor Fitzgerald, Daniel J. McDonald of the city council, Andrew R. Kelley, the state committeeman from ward 20, and a host of others interested in the development of the Suffolk School for Boys in Ralnesford island, visited that place the other day. First, the excellently equipped and managed shoe shop was Inspected, then the gymnasium, the dining hall and the tailor shop in order. The mayor is one who is not given to regretful moods., “To the barn, boys; to the barn,” he said. “I want to show you how to milk.” "You don’t have to show me,” said Committeeman Kelley. "Nor me," voiced Councillor McDonald. “Here's a dollar that says that I can show you both,” challenged the mayor. The bets were posted, and then tracks were made for the barn. - "A cow for each,” said Superintendent Ryan, adding, "make your choice." Each of the contestants picked* a cow, but as there was but one pail available it was promptly agreed that each in his turh should have one minute. Committeeman Kelley drew first place, but the cow might have been of wood for all the good it did him. Councillor McDonald, too, labored Industriously until time was called,

Man Has Warrant Sworn Out for His Own Arrest

ST. LOUIS. Mo.—A man fighting with himself, going through all the motions of a regular ringside fistic encounter and angering his “opponent" to such a white hot rage that he finally pulls himself into a police station and requests the sergeant to arrest himself, is the unique form of outdoor sport by which an absent-mind-'ed citizen of St Louis entertained himself the other night Samuel Williams of East St. Louis Is the man and is declared by the police to be insane. On .this particular night Williams was attacked and beaten by a thugi He arrived at Justice Bell’s office the next morning much the worse for wear and asked that a warrant be issued for the arrest of a certain person. “Whom do you want to arrest?”

Naval Recruits’ $20 Bills Cause Money Panic

CHICAGO.— Eighty recruits from the naval training station at Lake Bluff nearly caused a financial panic at High wood and Highland Park the other day. The recrultq, each bearing a S2O bill received from the naval station, boarded a Chicago and Milwaukee car in the morning. They were all bound for Chicago, from which city they were to leave for their homes on the seven-day furlough, John Hall of Highwood, the conductor, held out a hand invitingly to the first recruit in the car for 35 cents, the fare to Evanston. The recruit pulled up one trouser leg, unbuttoned the flap of a secret pocket' and presented the conductor with a S2O bill. “Is that the'smallest you have?" asked the conductor, "That's the smallest, the largest and ail," said the recruit, “and every one of these eighty men has one just like if j Hall telephoned to the paymaster of /the company, who boarded the train

with enthusiasm. There he gave hla name as Thomas J. Foster. Bauer said: “I think you had better spend the night here.” “That’s real hospitable of you,” said the southerner.. “I think II Just do that" "Perhaps you’d better let us take care of your money,” suggested Bauer, giving Schwarts the signal to search him. ’ “I’ve got a lot of money, even If I am only an Awgustah cop,” he said. But Schwartz, searching his pockets, could only bring forth a $5 bilL It had been thrust far down in the upper outside pocket of his coat. “Is that all your money?" asked Bauer. • • • • “I got more’n ’at,” declared Foster. Sure enough, Schwartz found a S2O yellowback pinned to one of his socks. ‘More’n ’at,” declared Foster. There was another S2O yellowback in a little pocketbook pinned to the other sock. In the toe of his right shoe was also found a first-class return ticket to Awgustah. Then he was taken to a cell, charged with intoxication. He expressed himself as quite satisfied and sank swiftly to sleep. .. ■ '

but, beyond a little moisture on his fingers, had no better luck than the committeeman. "Just watch the real farmer," said the mayor laughingly, taking the pail and cautiously approaching the cow with a “soo boss, boo boss." "Nothing like getting the confidence of the cow first, if for nothing more than safety,” he explained. He dropped to the low stool, placed the pail tightly between his knees and as ■his voice swelled with stihlns of “I Want to Be in Dixie,” the milk began to dash against the bottom of the pail with a noise like steam escaping from an exhaust pipe. The mayor, of course, was declared the winner and as the was about to pasß the money over to him, he remarked: "It’s a shame to take their money. You couldn’t lose.” "No,” repeated the superintendent, vdry gravely, “you couldn’t lose, because the other two cows are dry—yes, have been so for nearly a month." The bets were declared off.

asked the justice, looking Williams over with a scrutinizing eye. “I want to Jail Sainuel Williams, that’s who,” shouted Williams. * "Wbat’s the charge?*’ “I don’t know what to charge him with, but I know what he did to me. He attacked me on the street as I was going home and beat me to a pulp Just because when he went through my pockets there was no money to be found." Williams shuffled out of the police court and wandered back to his home. A half hour later he was surprised to see two husky bluecoats drive up in a patrol wagon and stop at his door. “You’re under arrest,” growled the first cop, seizing Williams roughly. "Come along to the station.” Williams did as directed and was haled before the justice who signed his own warrant. 0 Then Williams recalled that he was Samuel Williams and by a mistake had charged himself with disturbing the peace. He was released when he assured the police that any charge that that he had fought with himself was greatly exaggerated and more or less untrue.

at Highwood with a hand grip full of bills and started tp change the big bills into smaller ones. Before he was half way through the car his .sup* ply of bills had been exhausted. When the car reached Highland Park the paymaster hurried to the bank and threw a bundle of twenties to the teller, saying he wanted a lot of ones, twos and Uvea The teller reached into the drawer and before all the twenties had been changed the second time the small bills of the bank were almost gone. The eighty recruits had completed their course at the naval station and had been granted a seven days’ furlough before reporting for dutp aboard their respective ship*.

TWO PRETTY CREATIONS

Garden Party Dress. The bodicp is edged with insertion, which is taken round the neck, straps of this trim right front, also the outside of sleeves, a fold of material terminating in a rosette forms the trimming of the waist. Hat of Pedal straw to match, trimmed with satin ribbon, rucked round the crown and arranged in a bow at the right side. Materials required: 4% yards crepe

STYLES FOR THE ELDERLY

Once More Modistes and Designers Appear to Recognize Their Claims to Some Thought. Is it possible that elderly ladies and matrons are coming into fashion again and that staid mammas need no longer preen themselves in the gay feathers of lately escaped nest- ' lings? Certain details of the fashion point in this direction, and among these I need only indicate the trailing gown, the small toque, the mantle coat and the popular lace wrap, all of which make for at least appearance of maturity which is something quite different from the young girl airs of a recent time. __ Now, of course, most women of 40 regard themselves as quite young and sportive creatures, but there has always been an exception to this frisky rule, and some of them have never cared for “going out'm their figure,” as it so expressively phrased. In summer, however, it has always been admittedly difficult to find anything to wear that was loose and cool without being dowdy. Some of the new wraps seem at least to be just what we have been looking for and to take the place with plder women of the rpffles which in reality are only suited to the youthful wearer. Little fichus of black lace are edged with a riffle of silk and a flounce of kilted chiffon with a ribbon finish, and tied in front with ■ loops of satin, and these give a decorative finish to a gown. A simple fichu of fine Bilk lace is bordered with satin and fringed on the lower end, a chou and loops of ribbon catching it in front. Some of the capes have deep stole ends in front and others affect the form of the bolero. Moßtly of Chantilly Or lace, there are others which are more practical and are made of face cloth arranged to fall full over the shoulders and pointed toward the waist at the back, while the fronts aIBO meet in a point.

Make Smelling Salts.

Smelling salts can be made at home, or, If one has already purchased a bottle, the strength can be kept up and so make the salts last much longer. To prepare a salts bottle, put in carbonate of ammonia, adding ’ one part of any desired perfume to eight of the carbonate of ammonia. Another method is to put Into a wide mouthed glass stoppered bottle small bits of fine sponge, fill with common liquid ammonia, adding a few drops of any perfume desired. As the bits of sponge dry they can be moistened time and again.

Lemons for the Face.

A few drops of lemon juice in the water in which the face is washed removes all greasiness and leaves the skin fresh and satiny, as well as making it fairer and clearer. A little lemon juice rubbed over the- cheeks before retiring and allowed to dry will remove summer freckles and whiten the skin, and. If persisted in. will eventually carry off all blemishes of the complexion that are not caused by impure blood or’ other internal trouble.

Walking Costume. de ‘chine 40 inches wide, 4 yards Insertion. We show on the right a costume, made of coffee-colored eponge cloth. The skirt is trimmed at sides from the foot upwards with a strap of black satin, with other straps ending in a button branching off from it. The coat is trimmed to match, and has a collar of the satin; the sleeves are short, and trimtoed to correspond.

FADS.

Some new upright collars taper to points behind the ears. Never were there bo many, white shoes, or so many kinds. A great use of lace is now the feature in lingerie gowns. Colored parasols with wide borders of black velvet are smart. Plain shoulder cape fichus on coats are often of light-toned silk. The popular combination for street wear is blue and cafe-au-lait Streamers are added to some of the big bows set at the bad: of large hats. , r Bordered chiffon and marquisette are used for many lovely dance frocks. The present tendency Is for big hats to grow bigger and small hats smaller. Amber has for the time being given place to the. modem vogue for cutjet beads.

SASH ARRANGEMENT.

The clever lines and odd sash i arrangement mark this little pink linen frock for a child as Parisian. The frock Is scalloped by hand at the neck and sleeve edges and fastens along one shoulder with pearl buttons. The black silk sash passes through slashes at the front of the waist and may be drown out when the frock is laundered.

The Butterfly Craze.

There- is at present a craze for butterfly effects. The design flutters on parasol tops, on smart veilings, and is worked in wonderful, iridescent effects on the new trimmings. The winged favorite is used also a# shoe buckles, brooches, coiffure ornaments and beautiful designs are seen in enamels and Bimuli diamonds. Black satin and velvet butterfly bowk edged with brilliants or oolored stones are lively. ' The material is slipped Into a frame, and thus any color can b* added to the diamond's rimmed bow.

GOOD JOKES

ANOTHER KINO OF FINANCE. Norman B. Mack, who is a politician and who, therefore, never tells anything but the truth, relates this story about himself: “On one of my trips to New York 1 had to visit a bank that is not very well known. I got mixed up in my sense of location, and finally 1 asked a newsboy to direct me to the building, telling him that I-would give him half a dollar for his services. He agreed and led me to the bank, which was only four doors away. “ ‘That,’ I remarked, as I gave him the money, ‘was half a dollar easily earned.’ “ ‘I know it,’ he said, ‘but, boss, you must remember that bank directors are paid high in New York.’” —Popular Magazine.

To Illustrate.

Example as well as precept was fur nished to the youthful autograph fiend who wrote to one of the world’s richest men, asking for an “autograph, sentiment” and enclosing a two-cent stamp for his reply. Over His Oppulency’s signature came the prompt response—on a post-card: “A penny saved is a penny earned.” —Lippincott’s.

Joe Was Really Great.

“It seems to me there are certain things which Wordsworth has said better than anyone else has ever said them.” “What Wordsworth’s that?” “William.” “Oh, Bill? I never met him. I used to know Joe Wordsworth, and, say, he was some left-headed swatter, believe me.” f

Different Material.

The business man looked the graduate over casually. "I have no position to offer you," he said. “You responded the graduate. “What I want is a Job.” Two minutes later he was at work.

IT SURE HAS.

Mrs. Askitt —Tom, what does a man mean when he says "I’ll stand pat?” Mr. Askitt —It has cost many a man a whole lot of money to investigate that phrase. K

An Old Story.

A little lamb In Wall Street frisks. On profits hopes to cram; But Wall Street, by some clever twists. Soon frisks that little lamb.

Easy by Comparison.

"Yes, I once traveled all over the country with a troupe of trained dogs.” “Didn’t you find them difficult to manage?” “I used to think they were hard to manage, but I’ve changed my mind since I’ve been managing a troupe of operatic stars.” —Judge.

Letting Well Enough Alone.

“Yes, I was held up by three thugs when I was in New York recently.” “Why didn’t you holler for help?” “Oh, I thought I hadn’t better.” “Were you afraid the police would not come?” “No, I was afraid they would.”

Hampered.

"Now, my dear young lady," said the professor. "Ton are going out Into the world. My advice to you is this: Be yourself.” “I’d like to, professor," was the unexpected response, "but my dressmaker won’t let me.” * I

Nothing to It.

"I suppose you met your fate while you were away,” exclaimed the romantic girl. "I got engaged eight or nine times,” responded the practical damsel, "if that's what you mean.”

Wise.

Lottie —"How does that candidate on the siirffaagette ticket get so many votes V* Hattie —“She addresses her 80-year-old constituents as ‘girls.’”—Life.

Of Course.

He —"Is Miss Coed’s hair artificial V She —"No, It’s human hair.” He— "Silly, I mean Is It her own?" She— “Certainly; it’s bought and paid for.”—The Coyote. Paradoxical. 1 "Do you notice people are talking about the weather?” “What do you mean?” "They are bo warmly praising this cool summer.”

A Paying Guest.

Prison Warden —It’s Just been found out that you didn’t commit that crime you’ve been in for all these years, and so the governor has pardoned you. Innocent Man —Um —I’m pardoned, am I? Prison Warden —Y-e-s, hut don’t go yet. I’ll have to telegraph for fur* ther instructions. Innocent Man*-What about? Prison Warden —Seems to me that considerin' you hadn’t any business here, you ought tqgpay the state for your board*

Handy to Have Around.

“Are you one of these who believe the dog is man’s most faithful friend?” “I must admit that I am not.” “Then you, I take it, do not keep a dog?” “Oh, yes, I keep one, but not because I like the brutes. It happens that the one we have always bowls unmercifully when my wife tries to sing.”—Judge.

THIRSTY.

Mrs. Askitt (at mountain resort, a temperance hotel) —Every day you men make several trips to see the hermit. Where is he? Mr. Askitt—Sh! He’s the bartendor

What Willum Missed.

Thelt laughing eyes and gleaming curls We dearly like to note; Alas, were no chorus girls When Shakespeare lived and wrote.

How Doctor Helped Lawyer.

”1 certainly think these professional men play into one another’s hands.” "What do you mean by that?” "A doctor charged for advising me to get right out into the country, and while there, in order to kill time, I made love to a rural maiden, and now I’m paying a lawyer to defend me In • breach of promise case.” —Satire.

Ready to Oblige.

Little James, while at a neighbor's, was given a piece of bread and batter, and politely said, "Thank you.” "That’s right, James,” said the lady; “I like to hear little boys say ‘Thank you.'" "Veil,” rejoined James, “If you want to hear me say it again, you might put some jam on It.”'

In Gay New York.

Uncle Beu had just returned from his first visit to the metropolis. “How’d you like the city?” Inquired the loungers at the corner grocery. “Fust rate,” replied Uncle Ben, “on’y they’s so many men wealin’ uniforms ’at everybody looked like either bandboys er pllcemen.” . „

A BACHELOR.

Mrs. Henpeck—Has your brother Charlie Joined the “Don’t Worry Chib?” Mr. Henpeck— He Isn’t eligible. Mrs. Henpeck—Why not? Mr. Henpeck—He Isn’t married yet.

Such is Life.

Tall many a man of modest worth. jdWho has no wish to own the earth. be content with a little flat. Bat oftentimes he can’t get that.

Keeping It Dark

Eve —"What was my name before I was married?” Adam —‘TU tell you some time; we are trying to keep it out of the par pers.”—Satire.

A Rural Retort.

Vacationist—Where does this road go to? Farmer Smart —It hasn’t budged aa inch in my time, mister.

At the Sideshow.

-What’s the ossified man kicking •bout?” . , -He’s got a stiff knee*