Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 231, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 September 1912 — JIMMIE NOT A HERO [ARTICLE]

JIMMIE NOT A HERO

Why? Because Miss Mildred Detested Them.

By. GRACE KERRIGAN.

Jimmie Fargo, gentleman, clubman, society man and traveler, had been in love no less than seven times when he met Mildred Burt at a function. Seven times he had been in love, or thought he had, but he had scarcely gazed into Miss Burt’s hazel eyes when he realized that all that had gone before was mere fancy. This was no passing whim. It was love — the only and original. It foamed up like soda water and had the tang of cider three years old. Jimmie was a young man. He had been used to making his vows on the first of January each year, but ten minutes after his Introduction to Miss Burt he might have been found in a corner vowing to himself that he would win that young lady’s heart and hand ere the robins or any other sort of birds nested again. Jimmie Fargo had the reputation of going right at things. That’s the way he happened to fall in love and fall out again the seven times recorded. He went right at this affair in his usual breezy way, but that wasn’t, after 111, such an aggressive way as to scare the bird off its nest. He made his vows and his inquiries, andthen he brought his fad into play. Jimmie Fargo had a fad. All men have, blit they won’t admit it. They flatter themselves that it’s erudition, perspicacity. Judgment, a gift granted to them alone for being so good. Jimmie’s fad was character reading. He could tell the leading traits in the character of every man and woman that passed the clubzhouse in a long afternoon. Of course there was no way of proving him right or wrong, and so he built up a reputation for himsqlf in which he was the only real believer. “ “ lj_ From a safe position Jimmie brought his fad to. bear on the girl of his heart. -• Chestnut hair. That signified a rather particular girl particular about to whom she gave her heart. Oval face. That signified a romantic nature. Hazel eyes. That signified loyalty and love after the heart was once worn A proud poise of the head. That signified pride of birth, and that triflers stood no show. A dimpled chin. That signified that no every-day sort of man could hope to win her. She had her ideal, and he was a hero. Red lips and even teeth. They signified that the owner was not to be won in the usual way. There must be heroism and adventure. Small feet. That signified that the owner was defiant of public opinion to an extent. That is, she wouldn’t make a beanpole of herself because Mrs. Jones had, and that she had just as soon ride up and down Fifth avenue in a farm wagon as in $5,000 auto.

Jimmie Fargo had his own little patent way of interpreting things, when he had come to the end of his string he drew a long breath and tightened his belt. His job was cut out for him. Never in this world could he win the heart of Mildred Burt by sending bouquets and proving himself the most graceful dancer in his set. There must be romance and adventure, and there should be.

The Eurts dwelt to the suburbs in an old colonial mansion. Jimmie Fargo had been invited there to several affairs. When a couple of months had passed he couldn't say whether he had made an impression on Miss Mildred or not, but he felt that he had not lost ground. One April evening he drove out that way in his auto. He wasn’t going to call, but all men in love are pretty much alike. It does a heap of good to see the outside of the house that shelters the girl one loves. There is a sort of calm, sweet consolation in realizing that her hand has opened that gate, and that her feet have left tracks on the gravel path. l Jimmie drove past the house and ten miles beyond, and it was while coming back that Providence jumped into - the auto and snuggled down beside him. Results followed within ten minutes. It was late in the evening. Jimmie had taken a slow gait. As he came opposite the Burt place he saw a human figure raising a ladder to a window in Miss Burt’s room. The golden opportunity!

Jimmie was out of his auto and on that Raffles’ back before ofieTcdnld,, have counted fifty. Raffles uttered a yell of terror as he was grabbed by the neck, and he tried to fight back, but he down and sat on and pounded until a window was raised and a voice demanded to know what was the matter.' It was the voice of Miss Mildred Burt, and Jimmie Fargo recognized it and gave Raffles another punch on the nose and answered: “I have caught a burglar, Miss Burt! Please arouse the house and telephone for the police!” “A burglar, you fool!” exclaimed the supposed Raffles. "Mtlly, tell the idiot who 1 am!” “It’s —it’s brother Jim!* she softly called down, -But—but— ’* ”1 was late in coming home, and the governor locked Me out,” explained the boy of fifteen. - “Oh —ah —I —” No, Jimmie Fargo w»s not a hero. That jads of Providence had played

him false. He had blacked the eyes and bloodied the nose of the youth he fondly hoped to call his brother-in-law some day. That was aIL A week later another chance was given him. On Thirty-fourth street he saw Miss Mildred leave a dry goods store and take a taxi. After going a hundred feet toward Broadway, the vehicle began to cut capers and the frightened chauffeur abandoned his seat. Jimmie Fargo dashed forward to do or die, but the vehicle suddenly decided to be good and stopped, and Misß Mildred stepped to the sidewalk calmly. “I—l —was going to —” ”Oh, it’s you, Mr. Fargo? Fine day, Isn’t it? Do you know I’m off to the country in a day or two? No* Going down to Cliffdale to stop with my married sister for a month. Pleased to have you call if you are down that way.” Was Jimmie Fargo down that way in about ten days? He was! Jimmie was feeling blue for a week after that taxi farce. Two adventures and no romance—nothing to count for him. Then he suddenly brightened up. The country was the place for adventure —mad dogs —fierce bulls — vicious tramps—outlaws and horse thieves. Yes, he would go down, and he would depend upon Jimmie Fargo this time. Miss Mildred had gone to cull the early summer flowers, and after waiting on the veranda for half an hour to work up the good will of the sister the lover set out Far across a green meadow he caught sight of a figure. It was that of Mlbs Mildred. A moment later he caught sight of another. That was Farmer Taylor’s bull that had Jumped the fonce. The bull started for the girl and Jimmie started for the .bull. He shouted. He waved his- arms. He called to Miss Mildred to make for the fence —to climb a tree —to fly away in an aeroplane. And then hlB foot struck a hidflen stone and he fell forward with a crash that dislocated his shoulder and rendered him unconscious for many minutes. It was the voice of the girl calling to a farmer in the next field that seemed to rouse him. “Mr. Fargo, what on earth were you trying to do?” she asked, as she turned to the victim. “To save you,” was the reply. “To save me? Why, didn’t you see that the bull fell and broke his neck before he was half way to me?” Jimmie sat up and his eyes filled with tears. “You poor boy—you are in awful pain. ,r v “It isn’t that. I—l can’t be a hero nohow!” “But what do you want to be a hero for?” “To-j-to win you!” “Whf, I positively detest heroes! Leave it out and be plain Jimmie.” It’s too soon yet, but it will come around all right. (Copyright. 1912. hv Associated Literary Press.)