Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 230, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 September 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

After all, a pennant la only a feat. - v ■- Dictagiaf ttn£ la the latest addition to the English vocabulary. If you' 1 are In favor of pajamas, aa against nighties, tell U to the marines. Man's best friend at present Is the electric fan. It Is better even than a snow-bank. '. j ■■ If Boston wins the American league pennant baked beans will become the national dish. A Philadelphia policeman Is going Into vaudeville. Going to do a sleepwalking act, probably. What a happy little world this would be If we could only shovel snow In the summer time. Speaking of civilization, Chinese women once crippled their feet' but never wore tight skirts. A Missouri woman has written a book with ber toes. Probably It was made up from footnotes. The letter-carrier will be glad when the vacation season with its flood of foolish post cardß Is over. An aviator fell 200 feet without being hurt, but this is .no proof that aviation is being made safer. Is It f You can’t classify it either as a vegetable or as a mineral. A Long Island woman eloped the other day with a liveryman. We supposed liverymen had become obsolete. Eat six times a day, if you want to be healthy, says a New York dootor, but not If you would be wealthy, too. Man In Vienna shot himself because three girls were in love with him. He was loved not wisely, but too welL Farmer in Ohio says he owns a cat with three heads. Think of listening In the stilly night to a cat with three voices. Woman in New York has left all her money to her lawyer, probably on the theory that he would get it anyhow. ' The recent death of the 185 year old 'Mexican must have been a happy one. Think of living 185 years in Mexico! Man In Indiana ate a gallon of ice cream at a single sitting. All of which goes to show how easy it is to break a record. A New York woman says she loves her horses better than she does her husband. Probably she doesn’t drive them as hard. «

The fear that the price of shaves may be fixed under the patent law need not alarm. There is no law against whiskers. However, perhaps we ought to be glad that the girls are showing a tendency to wear their own hair in fascinating little bunches. W - ————————————— ' Archaeologists in Asia have run across remains of a nation that once worshiped the peacock. But the peacock, in all his glory, was not arrayed as one of these up-to-date damsels. A scientist says that Cleopatra would, if now alive, be put in a lunatic asylum, but she might put the alienist there first. The mayor of Boston says that women know less about flying than men. They know more, because fewer of them are doing it “If you want to be beautiful, do your own washing,” says one of the doctors.. Most women will prefer the drug store brand of beauty. A cow up York state is said to have caught a fish with her tail, but who wants to fish with a cow? Fawncy easting a cow in a trout stream. Woman up state wants a divorce because her husband insists on talking politics. This comes under the bead of cruel and Inhuman treatment. Theaters without orchestras? Without the shivery music, how are we to know whether the villain is hunting mushrooms or creeping up to the sleeping hero to stab him through the ■heart? A contemporary Mfks: “Can a married man be a hero*” Yes, verily, he shows his heroism by inarrying. m l , Let us remark in charity that perhaps some of the young women on the street never realized how unclothed they were until they saw It in the pa- ? yQfP, "" Tha treasury department plans to hut not because the ultimate consum-