Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 219, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 September 1912 — Page 2

HOW ONE AWKWARD YOUNG MAN WON OUT Sought Cure for Embarrassment in the Country and Found a Wife.

By LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY.

(Copyright, 1912, by Associated Literary Press.) In the world of today a young man who has been about is credited with a full share of self-confidence, and If he had any rough points to begin with to 'have had them polished down by contact with society. Franklin Graham was an exception. Nature had given him a handsome face, as it had many Grahams before Mm. His figure was good, too, but he went about in a continual state of embarrassment and awkwardness. Mischievous young women and the jokers at his clubs kept him on edge all the time. He realized his drawbacks. A man may realize that he has a backache, but that doesn't cure the ache. He would brace up now and then and try to be assertive, but the effort only made things worse. When a man is embarrassed and awkward and has stammer added to it and he steps on a girl’s train and sits down on a fifty-dollar fan and refers to Renfew as Jones, what’s the use ,of struggling further? s/*When I was your age I was just that way,” said a middle-aged clubman who liked the boy and felt pity for him. He lied when he said he was just that way, but he lied with good intent. If all liars had good intentions there would be no evil in tipping chairs back on their hind legs and lying for half a day at a time. “Did you see a doctor about it?” asked young Graham. “Certainly not. A doctor can cure the measles, but he’s got no remedy for your case.” “Then wh-what shall I d-do?” "Cut out the town for awhile and go down the country to some village and begin on the ground floor. Rub elbows with Tom, Dick and Harry. Mingle with the people. Talk, fish, loaf around. You’ve seen Europe, but there are villages twenty miles away you haven’t seen. You’ve attended functions and high teas, but you’ve never taken a straw ride. You’ve seen grand dames and angel girls in evening attire, but you’ve not flirted with the village belle. Go to, young man!” And a week later young Graham went to Harpersville. Nice little town, nice river, nice people, good fishing, nice air! He was surprised at find? Ing such a place in America. Somewhat embarrassed and somewhat awkward, but not so much as he expected to be, he found the old-fashioned inn,' but he had stopped at worse in Europe and felt the romance of it.There was Uncle Hiram Buzz to welcome him as he had welcomed every stranger for the last fifteen years. “Well, my son, come to stay a while?” he began. "I —I hope so.” “Glad to hear it. We’ll treat you right. Cost of living has gone way up, but we are not robbers here. Come from the city, I s’pose?” "Yes, sir.” “Folks there all well when you left?” “I think so.” “Glad to hear it. Some one has predicted that the cholera would be along this summer but we ain’t a bit skeered of it up here. D’ye like the looks of the town?” “Yes, sir.” * "Glad to hear that, because I know we shall all like you. You Jest pitch right in and be one of us. There’s dog fights every day or two—picnics, swimming, fishing, dancing, going after berries —oh, we’ll take keer of o you.” And there were three or four young men that wore very large cuffs and very high collars who called and invited the stranger to have a game of pool on the dusty old table, and the landlord’s daughter Introduced him to several girls, and within a week the young man was surprised himself. It seemed that he had never moved among real people before. There was no polish—no formality. The boys laughed loudly, and the girls chewed gum. Franklin Graham was learning something new every day, and he was rather glad of it He had been in Harpersville ten -days when he went fishing. A freckle faced boy guided him to a .spot behind the old sawmill, and before running away whispered to him that the girl sitting there with the pole and line was Miss Greenleaf. Mr. Graham’s bashfulness returned with a rush. He realized that the girl was superior to any one he had yet seen or met in the village. She didn’t call out to Mm that fishing was good. In fact, shb didn’t even appear to notice his presence. Was there a certain etiquette about fishing? What was it? Was a young man supposed to advance, hat in hand, and ask a girl if phrase might he fish in that river? He had been standing undecided for two or three minutes when the girl looked up and queried: | "Come to fish?” "Y-es.” why'don’t you fish, then?” /Thereupon, in bis excitement, Mr. Graham stepped on his own feet and fell down and rolled over on the ‘•Queer way to fish,” said the girl a« she hauled up her hook to rebal6 Mr. Graham got up and straightened out his tackle and baited his book. and threw it In. He wasn’t

fishing. He was thinking what an idiot he was not to have gone for a long walk. Suddenly the girl felt a bite and rapidly hauled in her line. There was a fish on the hook, but Mr. line had floated down and became entangled with the other. “You are a Very thoughtless young man, sir,” said the girl, as the fish flopped around and finally fell back into the water. “I—l beg ten thousand pardons!” stammered the young man, and then he did something worse. The girl bent far over the water to disentangle the lines from a log, and he thought her on the point of falling and made a grab and tore her shirtwaist and pulled off her hat. She didn’t fall She simply looked up and quietly said: ”1 thlnk you are the most careless young man I ever met!” “Yes’m—yes’m!” he replied, as he left his fishing outfit and walked hurriedly away; and he did not regain his composure for the next two’hours. “Well,” remarked Miss Ida Greenleaf, as she arrived at the house of her aunt, which had also been her home for years, “I have met that young man from the city. He was down fishing.” “And you spoke to him without an introduction?” “I felt obliged to. I had to ask him. if he had come to fish, why he didn’t fish and tell him he was the most careless young man I ever met. I admired him, though. Came from the city—about twenty-two—traveled, I should say, and yet he was as greatly embarrassed and blushed as hard as a girl. I think ” . “What, Ida?” “That we shall have a thunder shower before night.” Two days later, as he was coming out of the postoffice, Mr. Graham ran full tilt against Miss Ida and banged her up against the building, “A —a thousand pardons!” he halted to say. "Truly, the most awkward young man I ever saw!” she replied as she recovered her equilibrium and passed on. “Well, auntie, I’ve met the young man again,” said Miss Ida on reaching home. "He slammed me up against the postoffice.” “You don’t say! And you spoke to Mm?” ’Told him he was the most awkward man I ever saw. Say, I’m surely beginning to admire him. He’s got an individuality.” Much to his surprise the young man didn’t depart from the village. That was why, three days later, as he caught sight of some one struggling in the water he leaped off the bridge to the rescue. Firstly, he Couldn’t swim a stroke, and secondly, the, struggler was Miss Ida in her bathing suit, and she had to rescue him. She had to do more. He was carried to her aunt’s house in a halfdrowned condition, and it was hours before he had the strength to say: “Really, now, I —I—you know ” “Ypu are simply delicious,” smiled Miss 5 Ida. 1 A month later Uncle Hiram Buzz was explaining to a knot of idlers at the inn. "Yes, the young city feller went to town this morning, but he’ll be back —he’ll be back. And think of th® prestige it gives Harpersville. Feller from the city comes out here —feller who could have had his pick of Fifth avenue —and falls in love with one of our gals! Oh, he’ll, be back sure nusf —he’ll be back.”

RESERVED FOR ROYAL NAVY

Most Trees In American Colony Were Claimed as Special Prerogative of the Crown. In the Provincial Charter of 1691, under which the Plymouth Colony and the Province of Maine were united with Massachusetts, it was provided that all trees of the diameter, of 24 inches and upward, 12 inches from the ground, growing upon land not heretofore granted to any private person, should be reserved to the crown for the furnishing of masts for th® royal navy. A surveyor-general of woods was appointed to see that this provision of the charter was carried into effect. Near the coast all white pines of suitable dimensions were marked with the “broad arrow” —three cuts through the bark with an ax, like the track of a crow. This was the king’s mark. Long after the Revolution had obliterated the royal authority men who had been taught in boyhood to respect the king’s mark hesitated to cut sflch trees, In felling a tree it was necessary to “bed it” to prevent its breaking. This was done by cutting the small growth placing the small trees across the hollow, so that there should be no strain upon one section mor® than upon another* when the monster pine struck the ground. The mast was hauled out of th® woods on one strong sled, whether in winter or summer, and so many oxen were required that the hind pair were often choked in crossing a hollow, being hung up in their yoke by the pulling of those ahead of them. A mast-hauling was a great event and everybody within walking-dis-tance came to see it.

Voice of Experience.

“I can’t understand why married couples ever have a disagreement,** she said. “I don’t see why those matters can’t be so adjusted that then® will be no friction. Now my husband and I understand each other thoroughly.” “Indeed?” he replied. “How long have you been married?" "Nearly three days.”—Judge. „

LATEST TEA GOWN IDEAS

The illustration on the left shows a dainty gown of cloud gray delaine and has an effective trimming caused by a yoke and sleeve strap of fancy delaine, pale pink or blue would be pretty; this has the lower part set to it with slight fulness; narrow lase or fancy braid edges the trimming; a gray silk cord girdle drawi the gown in at waist. Materials required: Five yards delaine 40 inches wide, three yards 28 Inches wide, two and a half yards edging. The second is a handsome style suitable for satin, face cloth, or cashmere; it is a loose, elegant gown and has a large collar composed of a piece of lightly embroidered material edged with a band of satin to which a silk fringe is attached; the cuffs are made to match. Materials required: Five and one-half yards 44 inches wide, two yards fringe three-quarters yards satin 20 inches wide.

BLACK VELVET WIDELY USED

Shade and Material Both Are Employed In Costumes That Have "Official” Sanction. The “sweet unreasonableness” of which the poet sings is exemplified by the French modiste who Invariably emphasizes tulle and lace and all filmy fabrics for winter and then introduces velvet, and sometimes fur, on the summer costume. Fashion’s vagaries are inconsistent but beautiful, so why object? Black velvet is one of the prime favorites today. It is used for all types of sashes and girdles, affording contrast and giving a slender appearance at the waist line. It is practical on account of its defiance of dust and hard wear, and its ability to harmonize with all colors is too great to ignore. Therefore the black velvet has an excuse other than beauty for beifig. Most noticeable is the use of black velvet as facings for hats. The newest models now show entire undersurfaces of black velvet, or wide bands on wire applied with perfect smoothness to the edge Of the brim. In this manner the bright color of a hat can be toned down and dissociated, so to speak, from the gown. The black also brings out the brightness of the eyes, the whiteness of the ■kin, and is generally becoming.

The Sailor Blouse.

The middy blouse is enjoyed by the younger generation. The yoke idea is repeated on many of the smart models for the athletically bound woman. The enlarged armhole is another feature, more of the last season than the future, to be sure, which has aided in making a shirt intended for strenuous arm motion comfortable. Although the high mannish linen stiff collar with the jaunty little four-in-hand tie is very trig, it is not nearly as comfortable as the soft turnedddwn collar finished with a soft silk tjravat. Patch pockets should be just as plentiful as possible.

Ropes of Pearl and Jet.

Ropes of pearls are sometimes three yards long and when these break by catching in the handle of a sunshade or by some other accident it is not always easy to recover p.ll of them, find in the case of real pearls a single lost one may represent a large sum of money. That may be one reason that the chains are now in less costly materials. Jet is immensely in favor ft>r this purpose, and jet ornaments aiyF coming in as a consequence of the craze for a touch of black in all the newest gowns.

Narrow pleated Skirts.

According to the Dry Goods Economist the fall lines of dresses include many models madb in some form of pleated skirt. In every instance, however, they are straight and narrow. The pleats extend to the waist in some of the samples, but other styles show pleated panels or decu pleat ed flounces. When the pleats „ fond only to the knees a modified panier drapery finishes the upper skirt section.

Polo Blouses.

No discussion of cool clothes for hot weather Is complete without a refer®nce to those admirable shirtwaists made of white silk which are called polo blouses. They are another addition to the mannish garments which women have garnered into their wardrobes.

RED SHADE NOW IN FAVOR

Extreme of Fashion, but the Ensemble Is Not Always of the Best. There is a revival of the red head. A genuine carrot shade is the favorite of the moment, and women have it regardless of tueir eyes and complexion. 1 If they but knew how they looked! Most tinted hair is artificial looking, but there is something about the vivid hu® that makes the piost refined woman look like an adventuress, coarsens her features and is generally unbecoming. This truth has not the least effect on those it most concerns; but they might refrain from tampering with their hair if they knew how much the artificiality added to their years. It hardens the features and gives a strained look to most faces; it dulls the complexion and makes all but the extreme blonde look sallow.—Exchange.

DAINTY HAT

The brim of this hat is of pale blu® Tagel, the crown of fine lace over pale blue silk; it is drawn up into a puff and set to the brim under satin ribbon, which is arranged in a bow in front

Under the Brim.

Have you noticed the hat trimmings’ new position? Look under the brim if you would find it. Roses, tiny bunches of field flowers, flat bows of velvet ribbon, plumes and aigrettes are now decorating the hat underneath the wide brim. And it is delightfully becoming. J Paul Poiret introduced the large flat hat with the underbrim trimmed as suggested. Other milliners took up the becoming style and the feature is firmly established in the millinery realm.

Black as Decoration.

The present craze for black and white has got into the house, and black sofa cushions, and table covers, elaborately embroidered, of course, are now reported. The pin cushion may be black, in a wMte bedroom, and a footstool with delicate embroidery of a contrasting color, will also add to the effectiveness of the room. Black satin is the best for this purpose.

Aluminum Thread Bags.

Bags and purses are being crocheted of a new aluminum thread that looks like silver and that Is said not-t®-tarnish. The thread is used with cut steel beads or without the beads and costs 40 cents a spool. The bags that are mixed with-the beads are parti® ularly handtom®.

SMILES

NICE OF HIM. “Would you like to get a ticket to the convention?” "Sure." "Would you care to take your wife?" “I’d be delighted to have a chance to do so. She has never seen a big convention.” "Have you any friends you’d care to - take?" "Say, old man, this is very nice of you. I don’t want to Impose on your good nature, but there are three or four people I’d like mighty well to take. How did you manage ’to get them?” “How did I manage to get what?” “The tickets. I understand one has to have a mighty strong pull to even get one.” “Oh, I haven’t any. I merely asked whether youfd care to go and take your friends/if you could. .. . Well, seeing that you insist, I will take a cigar—yes.”

She is Sarcastic.

"Wife, I want you to summer at Chigger farm.” “How can I go anywhere for the summer? I have no clothes.” “That’s just the point. You can wear old clothes at Chigger farm. Old clothes are the thing.” “Old clothes are the thing, eh? Then for once in my I can make a splurge. If old clothes are the thing I’ll take along seven trunks of the oldest duds in the state.”

Another Hope Blasted.

"Life is just one blamed disappointment after another.” “What’s the matter now?” "I had all arrangements made for a trip through the Yellowstone Park." “Can’t you go?” "Yes, but my wife's finally made up her mind that she will go along. She thought at first it would be too hard a trip for her.” '

FOR THE SEASON ONLY.

Lulu—You were engaged to that fellow over there last year, weren’t you? Anna—Yes; and if he hadn’t made a fool of himself and tried to renew the acquaintance last winter, he could be engaged to me again this summer.

Cowardly.

The city’s clocks were striking, Just as they’ve often done, The city’s clocks were striking And all were striking one.

She’s One.

"I’d like to get a little runabout if I could afford one.” j “I know how you could get one for the asking.” “How?” "Ask our next-door neighbor’s daughter to marry you."

Can't Get Away.

"I see that Holder isn’t one of your bank’s most reliable and entirely trusted. "Why so?” "He’s been at his desk thirty years. I notice that it’s always the trusted and reliable that go away to Canada.” —Browning’s Magazine.

Deliberately Avoided.

“Why didn’t you have more harmony in your convention?” “We were afraid,” replied Senator “that we might be considered capable of entering into one of these ’gentlemen’s agreements’ that have fallen under so much popular suspicion.” - .

Well, Hardly.

Bill —I see New Jersey’s legislature recently provided for the appointment of thrte experts Ip each of the state’s 21 counties, to exterminate mosquitos. Jill —But, I’ll bet these same experts have not yet thrown away any of their window screens or screendoors.

Out of Sight

"How do you like that lot you bought in Binglehurst?” "I haven’t seen it yet” ■ "Why, I thought you had been outthere several times?" "So I have, but the blamed thing is ■till under water.”

Sort of Corporation Lawyer.

Willie—Was Jonah a high priced lawyer, pa? . Father—What a question! why?* Willie —It seems the whale couldn’t retain Mm. r

OFF THE TRACK.

To add to Bunkerton’s discomfiture) in losing his way, he has now been brought to a standstill by the absoluate impassability of’ the highway,! and his temper, already sorely tried, finally gave way. “What kind of people are you up. here in this rotten old state?” he cried; addressing an old countryman who stood close by, Inspecting his: stranded car with curious eyes. “I dunno,” said the old man. "Baout the same ez most folks, li cal’late.” "Do you call this blankety blank scar on the face of nature a road?"! roared Bunkerton. “Not ez I knows on,” returned th®: old man. “This here hain’t the pike;. it T s Mose Whibley’s traout stream run ; dry. I wondered what ye was drlvin” up it for.” —Harper’s Weekly.

A CHEERING EFFECT.

Dinks —Hot weather doesn’t appear, to affect the doctor as in former years. Winks —No, his uncle died and left him stock in the ice trust

A Rare Bird.

There lives a man In our town Whose like you seldom meet; The bright remarks his children make He never does repeat.

Not Reciprocated.

“How many children hare you?" "Three. Two grown up' daughter* and a son in college." “How proud you muet be of them." "I am, but somehow or other I don’t seem to be able to act so they can bring themselves to feel proud of me.**

In a Department Store.

“See here, my wife had a rib broken at your bargain counter just now.” “We will reset it, of course, in our surgical departmept,” said the pollt® floorwalker. “And if you are contemplating any other operations, now is the time to take advantage of summer rates. We remove the appendix, for Instance, for $19.99.”

Marvelous.

“Quick! I want to show you something remarkable. Do you see that little woman across the lawn —the on® with the pink gown?” X "Yes.” "Take a good look at her.” “She doesn’t Impress me as being remarkable In any way." “Walt till I tell you about her. Sh® Isn’t afraid that she has a cancer."

Talking for the Lungs.

Bill—The capacity of the normal and unrestricted lungs is said to b® about 27.3 per cent, more than thos® which have been compressed by th® corset. Jill—That’s strange, when you think how much more a woman gets out of her lungs than does a man.

Plenty of Poetry.

"There should be poetry in life.” "Well, we get it in street cars, (A billboards, on soap wrappers, and on the breakfast food. What do you want?”

SURE THING.

She (quoting)—Death loves a shining mark. He—The doctor loves an easy mark.

The Grouch.

'Tie now the grouch with sneering air Decries the day because it’a fair; And snarling at the cooling blast. Growls ’neath his breath. "It cannot last!”

Not Sulted

*T am afraid your friend win not care for a glass of water here.” "Why not. since he is thirsty T* “Because this is soft water, and 1 understand he is a hard drinker.”