Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 211, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 September 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The spider’s favorite maxim la, -learn to labor and to wait The summer girl is putting on her •oat of tan and freckles. It’s either a deluge or a drought to make the farmer unhappy. Why not sell it “aeroplane T" It would be easier to pronounce. * Vacationers regret that the game of coming back was ever Invented. Almost any small boy’s ambition at this season is to be a pearl diver. In hot weather, put off all the things you don’t have to do to another day. This is good weather for a revival of the Greek costume of toga and sandals. —, Confiscation of their automobiiles Would deter reckless motorists from scorcblng. The summer season is trying to make good the deficit of heat piled up last winter. Yale has given up basket ball, thus heading off a challenge from the Wellesley girls. It thkes as much time for a watermelon as for a man to become thoroughly “cooled off.” Strange as it may seem at first thought, no grape seed was ever found In a vermiform appendix. Father's pocketbook agrees with the textile men in the belief that there is ruin in the hobble skirt. Uneasy lies the head that has no hair, especially when there are flies in the Immediate vicinity. One advantage of being a pitcher for the Detroit team is that you don’t have to pitch to Ty Cobb. The Philadelphia Inquirer calls the theft of an umbrella- a “white steal." That feller has a guilty conscience. The millionaire who paid $48,000 for a pair of ancient andirons is plainly started in a way to have a hot old time. Now the warning has gone out against soap as a carrier of germs. This time the crusade makes a clean sweep. One of the obstacles in the way of the anti-kissing crusade is that most girls would rather be son-kissed than sun-kissed. * The man who threatens to let his whiskers grow if his favorite candidate is not elected now has the center of the stage. If, as a fashion expert says, the skirts will be tighter next fall, there will be a great Increase in the use of the shoe horn, fy— — * *" According to a Boston doctor the American nation is becoming flatfooted. And some are being caught red-handed, too. Superstitious persons who look upon thirteen as an unlucky number overlook the fact that there were thirteen stars in the original flag. For every man killed in flying a dozen die boating and swimming. It is In the number who survive that aviation makes a poor showing. The hay fever season is ushered in with the dog dayß, and both are abominable, each, however, in its own despicable way. Those misguided people who have been wishing for an old-fashioned summer will confer a favor on this community by promptly unwishing it. Attendance at big league baseball parks is said to have fallen off since laßt year. Even baseball finds it hard to compete with a political circus. Doctor in Boston tells us that the American nation is becoming flatfooted. Probably due to the vast •mount of gum-shoe work in politics. A convention hall in Atlantic Cits was picked up and carried away by a recent cyclone. Usually, a convention hall is a magnet for all wandering air currents. We fain would rise in our righteous indignation and smite the feminine practice of wearing male hOkiery, but we hesitate for fear of being called a rubber-neck. A hug and.a kiss were the rewardr-. given to the man who rescued a girl from drowning at New Rochelle. Up to date. - ii-r Many a man who yearns to be a., boy on the farm again would kick like a mule if he were naked to do ♦Ha chores. v v ra . ■■ A man convicted of deceiving bia wife about money has been aent to jail in Loa Angeles. This precedent Is enough to send a scare throughout the whole of these United States