Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 204, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 August 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Vacation days are spending days. The style in gowns is certainly dose to nature. The plug hat Is to be abolished even to English society. Occasionally the mercury volplanes to order to get a fresh start. » One way to keep cool Is to avoid —ding rules about how to do it. It is predicted that the sheath skirt Will disappear with the summer girl. Ton cannot convince a sunburned man that there are spots on the sun. Wait until cool weather comes before you wear tight collars or discuss politics. According to a Boston savant, Americans will eventually be a flatfooted race. It takes a hero to go about in his shirt sleeves, and a martyr to keep his coat on. Bathing suits bought early In the season now call for talcum powder and a shoe born. ♦ It might help some, these days, to go down in the basement and fondle the snow shovel. Once in a while a baseball .writer speaks of a player’s fingers as fingers and not as “digits.” "The black death” is leading to a general crusade throughout the country against the rats. That New York man who left his $250,000 estate to his landlady may have been fond of prunes. * The only effect hot weather has on the small boy is to increase the popularity of the swimmin’ hole. The national fly swatting campaign Is a huge Joke on the flies and a huge effort to stay the hand of disease. A French surgeon recently performed a remarkable operation on himself. Maybe he cut his own hair.* How important it must make the small boy in the bathing suit feel to be told that he has a riparian right! In this brand of weather the amateur gardener clings to his hammock and lets the weeds grow where they will. Two and a half millions of Americans live by writing, including, of ' course, those who write home for money. •• California woman died as a. result of wearing too small a corset. Some women would rather die than be out of form. Just one little favor! When the sun begins to broil again, please say: "Hot. isn’t it!” Instead of: "Hot, ain’t it!" You Can’t induce a self-made man to believe that his son would ever succeed in getting anywhere without a lot of help. There are said to be 10,000 music teachers in New York. We presume that this is in addition to those who teach ragtime. Statistics show that every New Yorker takes some sort of car ride every .day. New Yorkers «• certainly crave excitement. They are fighting the grasshopper pest in California with vacuum cleaners. And, strange to say, there seems to be money in it The man who tries to cross the Atlantic in a dirigible balloon or an aeroplane is pretty sure to succeed in crossing the Styx. A scientist warns us that if women do not behave the race is in danger of decay. Just like a mere man to lay the blame on the women. Somebody asks a western editor how to stop shoes from squeaking. It’s none pf our business, of course, but one way is to take them off. Grand Circuit trotting races are being held this year as usual, notwithstanding the fact that trotting races are hardly ever accompanied by fatalities. Concerning universal criticism of rats who desert a sinking ship, it seems that ordinary justice to the rats will give them credit for knowing 1 when the ship is sinking. - The hammock is one of our most popular institutions these days, especially when there is a girl in it.It is a good thing that the post of weather man is not an elective one, for Just now everybody in the country would vote unanimously for his retireasent to even hotter climes. There is a good deal of Intelligence on the bench, a judge having decided that a man has no right to cross his legs in g car and muddy other people’s >**»«•