Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 190, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The Daily Republican KmyUy Iwpt Sandsy HEALEY A CLARK, Publishers. RENSSELAER. INDIANA. Being a philosopher with $1,000,00# In the bank la our notion of a soft Job. •The whale, 1 * uji a naturalist, "will Moon be extinct” But why blubber about It? Sometimes the exception prove* the role, but It la generally the un expectad which happen a. A beauty doctor aaya that slapping the face la good for the oomplexion. Bhe may prefer freckles. ▲ genius In California has succeeded In developing a seedless tomato, but the odorless onion still is afar off. Our notion of a true philosopher la one who can take a calm and unruffled view of life while seated In a dentist’s ■hair - A Maryland doctor says that cutting out the tonsils Is a serious mistake, from the doctor’s point of view, we presume. Some of the doctors say the adoption of the kilt would be more hygtenle than trousers. Yes, but would it be as modest? "Drink buttermilk and live long," says Prof. Metchnlkoff. But where Is the Joy of living long if one must drink buttermilk % A vacation would be beneficial to a hard working mortal were it not for the fact that it takes two weeks to recover from It Kissing may be dangerous, as our physicians say, but a little danger now and then is relished by the best pf men—and women. The shah of Persia’s kitchen utensils are valued at $25,000,000, and at that we’ll bet he can’t find a bottle opener when he wants it. A New Yorker Informs us that nobody can be happy on less than $5,000 a year. Verily, there Is a vast amount ✓of unhappiness in this world. A Cleveland .man has Invented a steel car "strap” that will not carry germs. While he was at It, why didn’t he Invent a few seats Instead T The anti-kissing crusade may be all right In Its way, but It strikes us that a great deal depends on the age and pulchritude of the kissee. Cincinnati Is proud of Its woman teacher In a vacation school who umpires baseball games so fairly the ire Of the bleachers Is merer aroused. Only the female mosquitoes prey on human beings, and sometimes we are led to believe that the females outnumber the males by 1,000,000 to 1. Some people are born famous, some achieve fame, but a girl In Newport won the easy way by wearing an automobile veil floating five feet in the breeze. "Hobble skirts,” says an Investigator, “were worn in early Biblical days.” Evidently one of the reasons for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. - ■ Once upon a time there lived a man who really enjoyed his vacation, but that was In the ancient days before the summer hotel had been inflicted on humanity. The New York waiters who several weeks ago organized a strike have applied to their former employers for work. They found a tipless world a cheerless one. Some day the art of farming may be so far advanced that humanity will be enabled to eat a blackberry, the substance of which is less than 75 per cent, seeds. Quoth a woman novelist: “It takes • clever woman to keep out of matrimony.” But if a mere man would keep out of wedlock he must be nothing short of a genius. China insists that if she borrows any money she must be allowed to spend it in her < bwn way. If the lenders do not like that they need not lend it This seems reasonable. One of the courts has decided that a woman who steps off backward from a street car has no claim for damages. The wife of the judge who rendered the decision must be slim and observant An exchange tells us that Prance Is training eagles to attack aeroplanes. Par be it from us to contradict anybody, but the man who Invented story has all the qualifications of a successful fisherman. The conspiracy to oust the hobble by beginning with the pannier not having succeeded, it is now proposed y to do the trick by having plaits in the hobble. They seem determined to make women us* more cloth someway or other. KA» attempt to raise a considerable raid of money for the New York teacher who accomplished the gigantic work of equalising salaries in the schools, has failed lamentably. Poet facto gratitude is the rarest thing jfcaown to modem edeim