Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 186, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 August 1912 — Page 2

HAPPENINGS IN THE CITIES

Goat That Leads Sheep to Slaughter

K ansas city, mo—The goat is not a beautiful animal in the face. Ho hasn’t a sweet disposition. He Isn’t playful. He won’t cuddle. But he has his uses. Frank E. Essex of a local grain and milling company, who raises thousands of sheep and goats on his farm near Raytown, says a goat is the most contrariwise animal ever invented. Everything goes contrary with him—like Mrs. Gummidge. But like Mrs. Gummidge he has a pretty good heart if you can get on the right side of him. Mr. Essex has one particular goat op his place that is the best and the worst goat that ever lived. Sometimes Mr. Essex gets so allfired mad at him that he longs to take a club and kill him. But qvery time he raises hi* hand to. slay him he thinks of the many kindnesses the goat has done him, and his heart relents. The goat, Mr. Essex admits, is not pretty to look at. He is bald, he has a wicked eye and his whiskers are full of cockleburrs. His disposition is so mean that he spends ajl his. time

Expected Spanking, Acclaimed Hero

Atlantic city, n. j.—The troubled conscience of Harold Isaac, twelve years old, of 23 Bartlett avenue, led him to make a confession to hia mother the other day. He fully expected to be spanked. Instead, he was acclaimed a hero. Harold went over to Linwood park, ten miles from here, 6n the annual picnic of the St. Nicholas church. Before he left his mother admonished him not to go near the water. He gave his solemn promise. The youngster is an expert in the water and later in the afternoon he left the picnic grounds and strolled about to Bargaintown lake. Several of his boy chums were disporting in the water. Harold, although he cast longing eyes at the cool water, remembered his mother’s warning and his promise. He sat down on the bank as near the water as he could without touching it, resolved not to violate the promise. A few minutes later, George Kloris, a boy of twelve and his particular "pal,” got into deep water and could sot make land, despite his game fight. He started to drift away and the other youngsters, badly frightened when they saw he was drowning, scampered ashore, grabbed their clothes and started on a run to summon help.

Eat? Wasted Time, Say Keep Wellers

CLEVELAND, O.—Why eat? Members of the Keep Well club, who told their experiences at a foodless picnic the other day in Wade park, declared a man can go without nourishment for thirty days and feel like a bear cat, and that it i 3 simple and delightful to exist for eight nonths on a daily ration of eight Quarts of milk. The club members advise any one with'a stomachache to. quit eating for owhile. It is fun after three days, declared Dr. C. M. Swingle, who has tried it. How to be strong as a bull moose and still eat nothing was told at the picnic by A. G. Freeman, who once went without food for eighteen days straight. S. P. Brooks is the milk diet fiend. If you backslide, you may do as some of the Keep-W’ellers do, and de»

Cat Shatters Governor’s Resolution

INDIANAPOLIS. IND.—Gov. Thomas R. Marshall’s resolution to spend July 4 behind the locked doors of his offices In the statehouße "were shattered early in the morning on account of the governor’s admiration for “Tom” a big. black cat, the capital mascot. Tom was not responsible directly for the governor's throwing open the doors of his executive offices. A friend of the Democratic nominee for tije vice-presidency, knowing that the cat waa admired by the governor, imitated the sound of a cat scratching against the door of the private office until Marshall was greeted by a crowd of late arrivals from the Baltimore convention. They gained access to the room ‘to congratulate the governor by imitating the scratching of a cat when loud knocking had failed. The governor was engaged In dictating his decisions on the numerous petitions for pardons, when a crowd

thinking up things to do which hii perverse mind tells him Mr . Essex doesn't want him to do. "But, really, I hadn’t ought to knock that goat,” Mr. Essex said. “Sheep, you know, haven’t a lick of sense. If it wasn’t for that goat I don’t know how we’d ever get them into a stock car. But the goat knows how. Frankly, I don’t believe he does it to help me—l think he does it because he knows the sheep are going to the packing house to be made into broth, and it fills his wicked heart with gladness. “Anyway, this is what he does: When the car is placed and the chute run down to the pen he takes the lead and marches up into the car, the sheep following. He marches all around the car and back to the dooh where he stops. There he places himself in such a way as to block the exit, leaving only enough room for the sheep to enter. They crowd in until the car is full, and then the goat leaps nimbly out and we shut the door. “If you could see the wicked gleam in his eye when he has thus trapped his trusting followers and saved his own skin you would appreciate how nearly human is his duplicity. "Some time, when I am vexed with him I suppose I shall Bhut the door on him and let him go to his deserts. If I don’t get his §oat sooner or later he will get mine."

The drowning boy called to Harold to save him. Then he could stand it no longer. He kicked off his shoes, plunged and battled for ten minutes and had just succeeded in dragging the unconscious form ashore when some of the other boys returned. Then he led the work of resuscitation and was finally rewarded. George opened his eyes and gradually became himself once more and by the time Harold’s clothes had dried he was almost recovered. Right there young Isaac made every one of his chums swear that they would not tell about hiß plunge in the wats. They promised and kept “mum.” But finally the youngster’s conscience troubled him, and he could hold in no longer. He told his mother he had been in the water, and stopped there ready to take his punishment. But young Kloris overheard the confession and told the real story. Now Harold is the happiest kid in town.

your a hearty lunch. The menu might be: One peanut One orange. One lettuce leaf. “Once I went eight months without nourishment except eight quarts of milk a day,” said Brooks. “I gained forty pounds. Since then I have lived on milk for varying periods. Now I am taking tw® quarts a day, in the morning and evening. The only other nourishment I receive Is at 11 o’clock in the morning, when I eat a light lunch of nuts and occasionally an orange. But on Saturday I omit the lunch, because Sunday is a day of rest.” , -• . • Swingle said that it is easy to go without food for short periods. He said that after the first three days appetite leaves. He advised, however, that anything bqt a short fast should be taken under the direction of a physician^ “I went without food for eleven days and could carry a market basket without being tempted to eat,” said Swingle. Swingle said milk and lemons is a diet that is good for tuberculars, under the direction of a physician.

began -to congregate at the doors of the executive offices. Frequent poundings and shouted requests for entrance were unheeded. The crowd was. asked to remain quiet. The governor, seated at his desk, with large pile of congratulatory telegrams and letters before him, became aware of the silence in the corridors and believed the crowd had dispersed. Then came the gentle scraping as if of claws against wood, and the governor, desiring the presence of Tom in the room, threw open the doors, only to be greeted by the tfhouta and laughter of more than a score of his Booster admirers.

Dainty Designs for Simple Dress and Long, Ample Coat

Cotton Dress. —This is a good style -for cottons, such as gingham, zephyr and foulards, as It would be easy to wash. Green cotton foulard sprigged with a darker shade is chosen for It. The skirt is made with a panel down front, with the sides lying over it in wrapped seams. The bodice has also the panel front and is trimmed with a collar and strappings of plain material; for the yoke and undersleeves muslin embroidery is used. Materials required: 5% yards cotton foulard 28 inches wide, % yard plain, % yard embroidery 18 inches wide. Coat for Day or Evening Wear.—This coat might well be used for day or evening wear, as it is a style that would lend itself tq all occasions; our model iirof natural colored Shantung and is high-waisted and plainly set to the bodice, which has slight fulness at waist. For the collar and cuffs striped black and white foulard Is used. Materials required: 6 yards Shan tun 33 inches wide, % yard foulard 40 inches wide.

EASY TO MAKE SMART TIES

Fashionable Jabots May Be Designed From Black and White Ribbons of Satin. Smart ties can be made from black and white satin ribbon four inches wide. A good looking jabot is made from a six-inch strip of three-inch ribbon in soft satin ribobn, which check or dot. Round the bottom edge with inch silk fringe and across the top put a satin butterfly bow in the same shade. This bow may have double loops o neach side without ends, or can have two loops and two ends, the latter pointed and finished with a small tassel. For quite young girls the model is prettily made of plaid ribbon, with black fringe and a black bow. A stiff, rather formal, effect Is had from a jabot of white satin two inches wide at the top and four and a half inches at the bottom, Which is cut straight across at the end that reaches to the bust line. The upper part is drawn stiffly over two straight, stiff loops on each side without ends, or An inch and a half from the bottom put a two inch band of filet lace insertion, and above it three crocheted buttons, one above the other. This jabot is especially attractive In vivid green satin, with ecru lace t banding and small gilt buttons. A double frill of black or emerald green satin ribobn is cut seven Inches wide at the bottom, with the ends slanting sharply and five inches from the top. There are .double strips, one eight inches long and the other six and one-half, and both are side-plaited into one over the other one and onehalf inch at the top. The plaits are beld by three small green buttons on the back and gilt on green. On either side to the top is a bow effect, made by inch-wide frills of plaited point de esprit. A dainty effect to wear with a close turnover collar is made from a stiff Bquare bow of two loops and two ends of half-inch velvet ribbon, with a tiny garland of pink, yellow or lavender roses and green foliage twisted through the knot.

Cretonne Hats.

Little poke and country bonnets have had a great success when made in fine silky straws which have a droll Incongruity with their simplicity. They are trimmed with tiny flowers and broderie.Anglaise. Some pretty hats of this variety are, however, made up in Valenciennes lace, while others, again, are covered with cretonne and flowered muslin. In short, there is in children's millinery the same range of choice as there is in our own.

Juice Taken Out.

-Householders who have trouble with the Juice of rhubarb pies running out will find that If the rhubarb is chopped in a chopping bowl and the juice strained off before putting into the pie this trouble will be overcome.

Modish Jabot.

Graoeful lace jabots give the flnishtug touch to the smartest rigs.

ORNAMENT FOR THE TABLE

Arrangement of Flowers, Without Which the Dinner Is Sure to Seem Incomplete. The tiniest garden can be made to furnish flowers for cutting all through the summer. If flowers must be used more than, once, it takes little time to have a separate decoration for each meal. The freshness of sweet peas, nasturtiums, pansies, snapdragons, marigolds and poppies makes up for their lack of rarity. At breakfast keep the scheme simple; some people will not use flowers at this but a few fresh blooms in a slender vase are sure to look attractive. Dinned decoration should have thought put into it, and the lady of the flowers should bear in mind the family tastes and anniversaries. The amateur florist often laments the short life of some of her treasures. Poppies, for instance, must be put on the table just when the meal is ready, if they are to be a success at all. A good scheme is to fill vases with water and take them into the garden, putting each poppy in as it is picked. Treated in this way, poppies keep several days and much more artistic arrangement 1b the resuljt. > Few things are more depressing than fading flowers. A handful of wild carrot leaves, freshly gathered, is infinitely better than a. florist’s elaborate creation which has seen better days. There is a passing fad for flowers arranged after the crowded posy fashion in which we have been trimming our hats and gowns, but the woman who really loves flowers will give them more room and a more natural setting, and content herself with time tried combinations, such as purple pansies with forget-me-nots, pink roses or phlox with delicate lavender tones of sweet peas, green ferns with a few white floowers, or the reddishbrown marigolds and pale yellow poppies.

White Satin Mannish Shirts.

The new models most in demand for midsummer use are jhe satin mannish shirts, says the Dry-Goods Economist., These are very smart, especially the styles with Robespierre collar and having crystal buttons down the center front. The long shirt sleeves are joined to an extended shoulder line. In many cases finished off with a small satin cording.

Embroidered Dote.

Black or a color Is Introduced effectively In some very new white lingerie waists that are tucked all over in clusters and that have sailor collars and cuffs embroidered with dots, the dots the color of the crystal buttons. The waists are uncommonly smart.

New Leather Belts.

Inch-wide patent leather belts in black, pink coral of light blue are cut over ’heir white linings and piped with tbe The buckles ara brass nr leather covered

SMILES

AN IGNORANT BUNCH, An unsophisticated resident of a small town up the state had never been in court before, and was not familiar with the interrogative manner in which a" lawyer juggles a witness. When he returned home in the evening a friend asked him how he had made out. “Oh, I made out all right,” he replied, “but I never saw such a bum lot of lawyers in my life.” “What was the matter with them?” queried the friend. “A whole lot was the matter with them, 1 ’ answered the witness. “Judging from the million questions they Isked me, there ain’t a derned one of them knows anything about the case.”

The War Game.

The militia was going through Its Bpring maneuvers and many ladies had come out to witness the sham battle. % “Come out of that bush and surrender,” yelled a captain to a private. “You are technically wounded.” The private shook his head. “T may he technically said he, “but I can’t come out. I’ve torn my pants on those pesky thorns.”

Cause of the Excitement.

"What’s the cause of the excitement? Look! There’s a great crowd around the public library building. Something must have happened.” “Wait a minute. I know the librarian. I’ll telephone over and see what’s wrong.” (Business of telephoning.) “Well, what is it?” “Somebody has started a rumor that there is a business man inside reading a book of poems.”

A Matter of Pride.

“No,” said Mr. Meekton; “I don’t want Henrietta to go into politics.” “You.are envious of her superior energy.” “No; I’m not. But Henrietta is sure to rise to official position. And when I hand her my salary on Saturday night I don’t want to be haunted by any doubts whether it is my voluntary domestic contribution or a species of municipal graft."

BLEACHED.

Crank —See how white the umpire is getting? Fiend —Yes, the bleachers are after him.

Plain Words.

The world may be a weary place And brimming full of woe; But cease your plaint, old Frowning Face, ’Tis you that make it so.

Benevolence Recognized.

“How did you come to vote for that man?” “He’s the friend of the plain people.” “Has he done anything to prove It?” “I should say so. He hires brass bands and speaks pieces and gives us more free entertainment than we ever had before in our lives.” *

Was a Customer

Small Boy—Please, I want the doctor to come and see mother. Servant —Doctor’s out. Where do you come from? Small Boy—What! Don’t you know me? Why, we deal with you. We had a baby from here only last week! -Tit-Bits.

What He Got for His Money.

• “Speaking of etiquette, did you send the half dollar for those advertised instructions on what to do at table?" “Yes.” “And what did you get?” “A slip with one word printed on it —Eat

The Modern Idea.

“I want a little pin-money today, hubby.”, “How much do you want, wifle?” “Well, enough for a real nice diamond pin, darling.”

Sardonic Glee.

“I got a new attachment for the family piano,” Bald Mr. Growcher; “and It’s a wonderful improvement” "What is it?" 'yfk~ “A lock and key."

Quite the Same.

"Did you use the escalator to go up to the second story of that store?" "No, It wasn’t runnin’, so we went up soma movin’ steps.” •

All Rules Suspended.

There was a little group about St. Peter and the outer guards were doing their best to form the applicants in line. Suddenly the venerable gatetender gave a little start. He pointed to the man at the end of the line. “Let the applicant b*ck there —that one who is talking to himself and counting his fingers with a lead penCil come this way.” The man stepped forward. “Walk right 'in,”, said the saint; “we always make an exception of head line writers.” And the applicant, still moving his lips and counting his fingers, passed through the golden portals.

A FAMOUS GRANDPARENT.

First Shark —Old man Whale takes great pride in speaking of his ancestors. Second Shark —I suppose so, ha claims that his great-grandfather swallowed Jonah.

In the Spring.

I’m weary of canned stuff, Tomatoes and beans. I yearn for a kettle Of dandelion greens.

A Waste of Time and Energy.

“Why are you retiring from big business? You surely do not consider yourself too old to continue to undergo the physical exactions of commerce.” “Oh, no. I’m as vigorous as I ever was, but I find that it takes all the profits to employ lawyers who are sharp enough to keep me out of Jail. So what’s the use of submitting, to the trouble?”

Time to Go.

“Miss Chuggly,” said Mr. Linger*, “I would never tire of gazing into your eyes.” "I believe you are sincere in what you say,” replied the fair one, barely suppressing a yawn, “but my eyes are not like some of the restaurants in this town.” “How is that?” “They don’t stay open all night”

People Who Know.

“I’d like to see a game of ball played once as the game should b* played.” “How’s that?” “Played by real experts.” “How would that game be played?” “Well, I’d have an infield made up of sporting editors, a bleacher enthusiast to pitch, with an outfield composed of grand stand fans.” *

Single Minded.

“Strange, that Smith, for a bachelor, should have so many mental purposes In his work.” “What has his being a bachelor got to do with his variety of mental work?” “Only this: That a bachelor is a single-minded man.”

YES, WHY?

Princevard —It was a great game! Yaleton’s centerfielder stole second base five times. Miss Barnard—-Why, didn’t he keep it when he stole it the first time?

Elusive.

Riches are provoking things; That is all I say. They, while hoted for their wings. Seldom fly our way.

Imparting Information.

Algy (in grand Btand) —That fellow out there in the center, you know, who throws the ball, is called the pitcher. The Girl —Yes, and he ought to go back to the ljugh leaguers; he’s got a motion on him like an old cow trying to kick a fly off her back.