Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 167, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 July 1912 — Page 2

MUFFLED KNOCKS. "I am glad to hear you eating your Soup with so much enjoyment, Uncle ‘Richard». ; .“Yes, that’s a very amusing story, (old chap, but here’s the way my grandfather says they used to tell it *when he was a boy.” “I always come to your restaurant Cor my noon lunch, Klipson, because there’s no danger of ever finding it crowded.” •*1 beg your pardon, sfr, for letting the train of my dress get under yonr tfeet. I’ll remove it as soon as I can.” "Boras, come and let’s have a square meal. I won $5 from Naggus by reading your last story through -without stopping?’ "Dearie, I wouldn’t mind what anybody says; I know you could have married long ago if the right man had come along.”

Double Duty.

A railway guard busily engaged in getting his train ready to start, accidentally trod on a lady’s dress as she swept by. "Oh, you clumsy man!” she exclaimed, the sudden weight from behind bringing her to a standstill. “Please be a little more careful.” “Beg pardon, madam,” replied the guard; "but I can’t possibly attend to two trains at once.” —Tit-Bits.

Easily Accounted For.

“I thought your wife was enthusiastic for woman suffrage?” “She was for awhile.” "Why has she changed her mind? I heard her say last night that she thought women were silly to want to vote.” “Well, you see, I’ve recently come out pretty strong in favor of votes for 'women.”

Nothing Doing.

t The wayfarer asked for old clothes. "I have none,” said the head of the house. “Not even an old pair 6f shoes?” “No; but here is an old automobile •you may have.” ■ ‘ “Thanks, boss, but I have enough trouble supplying my own wants, without begging gasoline from door to Nfloor.”

Ambiguous.

“I wish I could raise a hundred {bucks somewhere.” “The man in the street would know fwhat you mean, but a visitor from a foreign country, who was little acquainted with our language, would ithink you wanted to start —a deer ifarpa.”

SIX GOOD REASONS.

“Yessir, dere’s six reasons why I’m In here.” “And what are they?” “Me six wives, sir. I’m up for bigamy”

No Eye for Beauty.

It makes a fellow scowl, be sure, And wrinkle up his face To have the fairest girl obscure Hl* view 1 ’ of second place.

A Narrow Escape.

“Yea,” said the young singer complacently, “I had a great reception after my song last night. The audience .shouted ‘Pine, fine!’” "Good thing you didn’t sing again,” said her best friend. “Why, what do you mean?” she «sked. "They would have yelled, ‘lmprisonment,’ the second time.” —Ladies’ ‘Home Journal.

What’s In a Name?

Willis —that’s the matter with the “Don’t Worry club?” The members seem to be very nervous about something. Gillie —The annual election of officers occurs Tuesday and everyone is anxious to be elected president.— 1 Tack. tt

A Friend’s Advice.

“A college has offered me a degree for a donation of a million.” "What's the use? Buy yourself a hundred dollars’ worth of funny clothes and save the rest of the coin.”

Honor Where Honor Is Due.

Mistress —Bridget, do you spoil ev■mj piece of meat you cook? Maud —Oh, no, mum. Sometimes it comes bad from the butcher’s. —Har-

A Doughty Youth.

"I understand your boy is leading his class at college.” "He is, iir, and they have already JhlW»3 the town police in six bat-

SMILES

Not Annoyed.

The man had opened a small factory in a residence neighborhood. He wanted to stand well with his neighbors, and after he had been there a few weeks he called on the nearest one. “I hope my steam whistle doesn’t annoy you.” “Hey?” “I say I hope my factory whistle doesn’t disturb you. I suppose you have noticed the noise.” “Why, yes; I have noticed the noise,” responded his neighbor. “But I’m a trifle deaf, and I supposed it was the early robins.”

Explaining the Matter.

"I want some hose for my husband.** "What kind, madam?” “Garden hose.” “I beg pardon. Did I understand you to say that you wanted garden hose for your husband?” “Yes, young man. That’s what I said. I want some cheap, thick socks, size eleven. My husband has already spoiled several pairs of his best silk hose while working on his onion bed."

HIS IDEA.

Hegson—ls Jones putting on any airs since he came into his fortune? Digson—l should say so. Why, he’s been operated on three times for appendicitis.

We All Like It.

The end-seat hog gets men agog And causes fights and factions. Ought he to go? Well, I dunno— The end seat has attractions.

A Loyal Fan.

“Now listen to me.” “All right, doc.” “You are threatened with a nervous breakdown." “I know it" “You must quit worrying.” “I can’t do it, doc, until after ai! the players are signed.”

So Thoughtful of Him.

Bridegroom (two days after wedding)—l haven’t seen anything yet of that $5,000 check from, your father. . Bride —Well, you see, dear, papa heard that your father had already given us one, and he knew we shouldn't care to have duplicate presents.

Is He a Partner Now?

“I suppose you want a job?” said the employer brusquely, looking up quickly from his desk. “I come to ask for a place to work, but if it’s only a job I’ll go farther,” the caller replied. And from that minute he was on the pay roll. i;

Accounted For.

“My wife was so busy at her suffrage work that she sent me to buy a bonnet for her, and, of course, I got stung on it.” “That was because she had a bee in it.”

Young Jones—Your daughter, sir, is worth her weight in gold! Old Brown —Would you mind lending me $lO and taking her as security t

According to Popular Report.

Ah, yes, this Is a wondrous earth, i With all its wealth of greenery, And Morgan knows just what ‘tis worth| He owns the entire scenery.

A Mean Hint.

“If I really loved a man, I would willingly die for him." “Since you’re turning so gray, I anybody.”****

A couple of old wicker-covered demijohns are going to do duty this summer in a seashore bungalow as the bases of lamps. One of them received only a thorough cleaning before being pressed Into service, the other was treated to a coat of brown enamel paint. On the light one has been fitted a spreading wicker shade, and on the brown one a • Japanese openwork shade lined with yellow flowered chintz. The latter will stand in the family sitting room, which is done in brown and buff, .and the former will Illumine the veranda from a wicker .table at the window, to which the electric light cord can be extended. Both demijohns, of course, will be weighted so that they cannot topple over easily.

TOUCH

Despite reports to the contrary the glentjer silhouette still finds favor in the eyes of the well-dressed woman. The dress is the latest arrival; an alluring phase of it showed a skirt of black satin draped with white crepe de chine. The impression given was that a width of crepe de chine —no attempt was made to conceal the selvedge—edged with black fringe was simply wound found the figure. Here and there in unexpected places glimpses of black satin were seen —in the vicinity of the ankles, at the waist line —and then one-half of the corsage was of black satin, A large white picture bat embellished with a superb osprey gave a charming finish to the ensemble, r %-f : V-

Summer Hats That Enhance Charms of the Little Ones

Hats of straw braid, a greater number of silk braid and many of lace, have been made for little misses. They are trimmed with silk, ribbon and flowers. Daisies are always fashionable for children, and are at present in high favor. Other small blossoms and little bouquets of field flowers, such as children love, appear on the majority of hats for little girls. As in millinery for grown people, more elaboration in trimming is evident than in at least three preceding seasons. The vogue of lace frills was sure to find its way into the realm of children’s millinery, hence the hats with side crowns covered by rows of crisp lace frilling and brightened with Bmall sprays of blossoms .peeping out from the frills.

NEWEST FANCY FOR EVENING

Lizard Gown Has Become Exceedingly Popular in Paris and Really Has Much Merit. Just as savage woman seeks to decocate herself in semblance of the birds and the beasts in her use of feathers, skins and war paint, so the Parisian woman of fashion imitates the scales of the fish, the wings of the butterfly and the tail of the lizard in her ballroom fancies. The lizard tail evening gown is the newest fancy, and it bids fair to implant a graceful style in the American drawing-room. The first model to appear in Chicago is a vase colored messaline, with black satin “tail” tunic, and waistband encrusted with black pearls. Black pearl clusters are worn on the circular black silk hair ornament that goes with it. The effect is one of sinuous grace, and it will add height to the short and the overly plump. The style could be carried Out even more suggestively in two shades of greed, or of brown, or green and bronze. . ■ - - Where the gowns cling, as in the extreme of the season’s modes, the effect, the designers say, would be most undignified were the scantiness about the ankles not counterbalanced by a mass of trailing drapery, as there is a Semblance of both mass and color in the Best gowns.—Chicago Inter Ocean.

Babes and the Weather.

A young mother whose baby rarely is in, akcfibes this fact to her habit of never takingher child anywhere unless accompanied by a storm blanket of flannel-lined rubberized silk. This she keeps under the mat of the perambulator, where it can be quickly reached in case a sudden shower overtakes them, and in less time than it takes to tell it, has it tucked so snugly about her offspring that not a drop of rain can wet it. The material Is the same as that used for rain coats of the finest class, for the blanket was contrived from the remnants of one of those garments and is a nice shade of dark red silk, matching the ribbons attached to each corner and these, when run through rings sewed to the upholstering of the perambulator, keep the storm blanket, from slipping out of position.

Demijohn Lamps.

Spiral Dress.

There are wide plaitings of silk fringed at the edges, used to cover wide crowns aIBO, on hats of the more substantial braids. Narrower frills of plaited silk are fashioned with fluffy rosettes and are used with flowers as a part of the trimming of lingerie or silk braid hats. For midsummer nothing is prettier for little girls than the hat of lace or embroidery made on a wide frame and trimmed with ribbon and flowers, and no style is prettier than the hat with soft puffed crown and drooping frills about the face. It reappears each summer* varying a little in size, but remaining the same in general outlines and as a general thing in choice of colors. JULIA BOTTOM LEY.

IDEA FOR A VISITING DRESS

Any of the Better Quality of Woolen or Silk Materials May Be Used for This. A style such as this would look well in any dressy woolen or silk material; it has a trained skirt, and at back and sides a tunic edged with a band of embroidered net; a piece of this is taken across front; buttons and loops trim part of sides of tunic. The bodice opens in front and has a large sailor collar edged with inser-

tion; the elbow sleeves are trimmed with insertion and tucks; vest of embroidery, with collar-band of same. Materials required: Three yards 40 inches wide, three and one-half yards insertion, one-half yard embroidery IS inches wide.

Voile and Mult Popular.

White v'oile has found lasting favor with women of all ages. It is a material which musses little and does not require constant thought of pressing. It has to a large extent taken the place of less practical fabrics for summer gowns. Mull, top, is as much in evidence as ever and as with voile, can be made into enchanting evening frocks. With the gown cut a little low in the neck, preferably in Y Bhagp, one can drape it with- a fichu of sheerest net edged with Valenciennes lace about two inches wide. The fichus are somewhat wider on the, shoulders than in. the back or front. —Harper’s Bazar. t

Odd Coat for Girl.

Among the younger set there are always a few ready to take up an odd fad in clothes. A new one is being shown which will perhaps appeal to these girls. This is of cretonne, in immense wreath pattern. The lengthy of the coat is three-quarters, and it is semi-fitting, finished with a fiat satin collar, and patent leather belt It will appeal more to those who like odd things than to those who seek the beautiful.

HAPPENINGS IN THE CITIES

Tiny Shop Spikes Wheel of Commerce

CHICAGO.— "The march of commerce” from time to time has pursued divers courses to obviate a halt, or the semblance of a halt, but it has fallen to the lot of one of Chicago’s large wholesale concerns to employ, probably for the first time, a course which is marching around, under and over the threatening obstacle. —The obstacle encountered —by expanding commerce in this Instance Is the person of John F. Walsh and his little hardware store, located midway between North Canal street and the Chicago river, on the south side of West Lake street. As a simon-pure adherent to Btandpatism John Walsh has completely eclipsed the late originator of that term. Now, is not clinging to the policies of any particular political coterie, but it standing pat firmly in his little shop, which is a lone remaining section of a once fairly large building. His legal or moral right to stand firm on the privileges of his five-year

Poodle Cause Death and Arrests

Minneapolis, minn.—one little white French poodle attacked a Minneapolis policeman the other night. The policeman shot the poodle. The poodle’s mistress attacked the policeman. A riot call was put in for the police. When the din of battle subsided, the poodle’s mistress and one man were under arrest for disorderly conduct, and the poodle lay dead in the street and the policeman was fleeing under cover of darkness to his home and a whole pair of trousers. The poodle, cause of all the trouble, was “Snoozlums,” pet of Mrs. Bertha Forslund. The policeman who was Attacked and who shot “Snoozlums” was Police Driver David Melbouff, and the man whose championship of the poo* die resulted in his own arrest gave the name of Robert Bonsman at central station. - Policeman Melbouff, who IS driver at the South Side station, was riding home on a bicycle at 10 p. m. According to his story the poodle ran from the walk and seized him .by the leg of the trousers. It was at this stage of the conflict, according to Policeman Melbouff, when he was complete master of the field, thfet Mrs. Forslund appeared on the scene.

Unde Tom Bloodhounds Are Eaters

ST. LOUIS.—Four large hounds, possessed of appetites commensurate with their size, are perplexing William U. Halbert, fit Belleville, public administrator of SL Clair county, Illinois. The dogs formerly belonged to an “Uncle Tom’B Cabin” show owned by E. C. Chunn, who died in East St. Louis several months ago, and Halbert says they rapidly are eating up all that is left of the estate. The hounds, each one of which stands a few hands shorter than a small pony, came by their appetites honestly, it would seem. For years they chased the elusive Eliza across the papier mache ice, always just a trifle too ,far« behind to sink their teeth in the persecuted young woman. After the show was closed they cried for Eliza for a while, but later signified they would "be satisfied with plain,'

Frisco Laborers Find a Wine. Cellar

SAN FRANCISCO.—That men may drink champagne on a steam beer salary has received convincing proof. Around the ruins of the Grand Hotel at Stevenson and New Montgomery streets were a lot of $2-a-day laborers the other day who were nursing assorted “heads,” but who were very happy Just the same. -~~ - During the work of clearing the ruins an old rock crusher that stood on the lot was toppled over under the instructions of the foreman. The foreman the day being hot, then adjourned to a nearby buffet to quench his thirst. When he returned to the field he found that every man jack of his laborers had disappeared. Their coats were still hanging around on fences and the foreman was puzzled, nob having reason to believe there had been & walk-out, until the pound of popping corks, coming from the near distance, mingled with gusty laughter, attracted his attention to where the rock crusher had stood. - -i

lease of the 25x40 foot s|iop is disputed by no one, although'a mammoth building now in the course of construction must have the few feet occupied by Walsh’s shop If the northern face of the structure, when completed, is to present an unbroken fronL “Perhaps they thought I would take an afternoon off, tie my lease up with pretty pink ribbon and carry it over to them on a silver tray, decorated with American Beauty roses.” "Well, you see how badly they were mistaken. I’ll have no truck with them. I'm here to stick. I’ve my lease and it runs for trhree years yet” The entire area, bounded by West Randolph, North Canal and West Lake streets, and \me of the present buildings of the concern, with the exception of Walßh’s little store, Was in readiness for the construction, work to be begun. And Walsh steadfastly Ignored all arguments. As a last expedient, the unique plan of allowing the new structure to rear its steel girders over the very roof of the little store, excavating the basement, and erecting walls on three sides, was resorted to. Now Walsh ,is being builded around on all sides, top and bottom, except the front, which will remain his very own, free and unchallenged, until the expiration of the lease, and “the march of commerce" goes on unhalted.

"You have killed my pet. You have killed my baby, ‘Snoozlums,’ ” the woman is said to have shrieked as she stepped over the body of the fallen poodle and toward the policeman, who, busy with the trousers which had been torn, was somewhat at a disadvantage. “I didn’t want tp hit the woman,” said Policeman Melbouff, “so I just held her ofc.” About this time, according to Melbouff, Robert Bronsman took a hand in the fray. This made things easier for Melbouff for Bronsman was not a woman. The battle raged merrily. In the meantime neighbors, hearing the barks of “Snoozlums,” the shot, the screams of the woman, had turned in riot calls for the police. Leaving “Snoozlums” where he lay in the street the police took the man and woman in the patrol wagon and to central station, where charges of disorderly conduct were placed against both.

ordinary beef, or something better. When Halbert first came into possession 1 of the dogs the rest of the estate of the one-time owner of the show was Intact, and he even could afford to buy porterhouse for the animals if they insisted on having it. Halbert hadn’t had charge of the estate long, however, when the dead owner’s father, J. C. Chunn, filed a claim for the personal effects of his son. These personal effects consisted of a passenger coach and scenery and other paraphernalia necessary to the show. Halbert fought the giving up of the y passenger coach with the idea that if the worst came to the worst he could house the hounds in it and ship them froin place to place that they might “board around” on their relatives. He lost the suit, however, and found himself the mortified possessor of the dogs, which, after the manner of their kind, lost no time in signifying they would be pleased to sit down to a good meal. So far they have cost him more than SIOO, and none of them has indicated he is ready,to get old and die or quit eating just because the novelty has worn off.

He hurried over there to discover his entire crew sitting around the floor of the wine cellar that bad been exposed, drinking the cream of the choice stock of liquors that had made the old Grand hotel bat famous. After the wreck of the hotel in 1906 no one gave a thought to the' wine cellar and the stock of old wines, assuming that the stock had been ruined. Colonel Kirkpatrick of the Palace, when advised of the find mid asked what disposition he wanted made of the wines, said: “Let the laborers dispose of it The wine is theirs by right of discovery."