Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 165, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 July 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Most of the recent aeroplane reords have been death records. The stepless car Is highly popular fa these days of hobble skirts. Now a lot of people are hearing the first call to the old swimming hole. The passing of the horse Is a calamity—when you’re got money up on : ! The Chicago girls are light, the old-fashioned kiss Is the sweetest and ** l Another infallible sign of the ap- } broach of summer la the mad dog i scare. One way to drive away every sign of rain Is to buy a new umbrella or raincoat 1 The Inventor of the black dress Shirt was no doubt behind on his laundry MIL A counterfeit S2O bill is reported In circulation, this being one of the perils of the rich. ‘ __ \ A German company has Just launch- " led the biggest steamship in the world. It’s England’s move. .... The English sparrow may be a savory dish, but it would cost tjo much to put salt on its taiL ; Smallpox lurks in false hair, says an exchange. Get the back of her dressing chair vaccinated. ■ In Duluth the author of a popular song is running an elevator. The punishment hardly seems adequate -I- 1 ■■■■"— . Some optimist has discovered that a cold spring Is good for the blackberry crop. Now let us all cheer up. The new one-half cent piece approximates the feelings of the man who appears in public with the first straw hat : A man with but one leg is trying to waft around the world. He might be pardoned for calling it a stumping tour. America's hens last year laid 217 eggs for each inhabitant And yet we look upon the eagle as the national bird. * An actress Is writing a series of articles on “how to stay married.” We can do it in four words: Don’t sue for divorce. 1 The strike of German aviators leads one to suspect that the wages of the hlrdman are not breaking any altitude records. * America now has three women aeroplane pilots. May there be no subtraction <by accident from that mystic number. An Ohio man started to dig a gar- ~ den and turned up a chestful of treasure, but few gardens are quite so profitable. A New York policeman, while off duty, arrested two burglars. It might pay New York to give a few more coppers a vacation. “Knee-deep in strawberries,” ejaculates a Baltimore paper. Yet one. can think of several pleasanter things than that kind of wading. Massachusetts has forbidden by law file explosive “Joke” cigar, showing clearly that the Bay state knows when a joke is a misdemeanor. More than 1.000 metal articles were removed from the stomach of a California woman by a surgeon the other day. Probably a souvenir huntress. An English gypsy queen has Just died at the age of 101. She was an inveterate pipe smoker, which, no doubt, accounts for Jier early taking off. A New York court Includes baseball bats in the category of deadly weapons -and a Chicago jurist adds automobiles. Justice, however leadenfooted, occasionally overtakes the procession. An eminent alienist declares that for a man to liken his wife to an angel is not an indication of insanity. Once in a while, one of those alienists does show some signs of human intelligence. Now that pleasant weather has arrived, guess how long it will be before the water companies get out their annual warning against a water famine, with all sorts of threats against the man who uses the hose too freely? The eastern firmer who has spent sl,oof in a suit over a S2O cow has reason to kick about the price of beef. The statistician who asserts that the population of New York is too dense probably has no money to be separated from, or else be has never been A Ixjulrvllle doctor ears that man