Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 154, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 June 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Cheer up once more. Soon will eome the freckle harvest 1 The fool who rocks the boat kills Snore than the icebergs do. What’s the proper Scotch word for the blowing up of a golf ball? If every day were Sunday, think of all the money there would be in base* :: ball The political bosses are faring ■worse this year than even the umpires. Still, before frying an egg by wireless it is of course necessary to catch the egg. . The unsinkable boat and the aero(plane that will not fall are still to be achieved. ' The sleeping porch Is located first nowadays and then a house is built around it New York has a society burglar, ■which shows how easy it is to break Into society. Washington is a city of magnificent (distances. Also it is magnificently distant for many an aspiring statesman. : ew York now has a special force of policemen to guard shoppers, but even that w“’_ not prevent bargain counter rushes. A woman in Philadelphia was lately > (convicted of being a common scold. ’ But why single out a single poor (woman? i ! News of an elopement of a young school girl tri Atlantic City corroborates the report that marlage Is still prevalent ‘ The meanest husband has been discovered in New York. He wanted his wife’s alimony cut down because she Siad gone to work. -- ! Tarring and feathering anarchists Ss not the best' way to demonstrate (that all the fools and misguided people are anarchists. ! Stuffed humming birds are now up against potted English sparrows- Everybody is invited to eat sparrows, the more the better. Now it is a Germany aviator to be killed. At the present rate there is no danger of accumulating a surplus population of airmen. Maybe the iceman will eome down from his lofty perch when be hears that a machine has been invented for making ice in the home. * I - One of the beauties of the sleeping porch at this time of the year is that one can enjoy a shower bath without arising from one’s couch. A rich California girl has just broken her engagement with a European nobleman. This is infinitely better than repenting at leisure. ' England planted its first settlement In this country 305 years ago, but today American millionaires are making settlements on the English. An eastern housewife has discovered a way to make jam out of spinach. Perhaps she’ll make shredded wheat out of sideburns next. A Philadelphia man has gone to Brazil to take moving pictures of the boa constrictor. Imagine asking a boa constrictor to Took pleasant! Two brothers have been brought together, after many years of separation, by means of a tattoo mark —which is the only excuse for tattooing. With baseball and presidential campaigns going on simultaneously, congress is one of the dullest institutions on this justly celebrated earth. Boston is to try using a “jointed make** car on its crooked streets, showing that the Hub*s versatility is equa. to its classic pfcturesquenesa. A machine has been perfected by which the three dollar investor draws out five dollars It*s a fine machine, but the inventor has been arrested. : Cornell scientists put radium, wireless, the telephone and antitoxins among the seven modern wonders of the world. But why . overlook the kitchenette? !/ to adopt sons, but object to wives. This shows to what depth of desperation the prevailing stfles of feminine garb win drive particular men. It fe a wise man who urges his friends .to move into the suburbs; for then he may visit them apd enjoy all the pleasures and delights of suburban life without any expense other than - . z- . - A Pittsburgh woman has a dog •which swallowed lately a half-dollar This tarte rt a*s4oo ”dirt iTnm cn X T