Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 149, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 June 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

E Republican B»o«>pt Monday -ARK, Publisher* •mer to help himself lcultural creed. Rainy days bring out the man who carries his umbrella as though it were a spear. ■ * ■■■* This season’s precipitation should be conducive to sucdnsful alligator farming. 1 A Norwegian claims that he has inrented a boat that even a boat rocker cannot sink. Automobiles posseß&ed of a wild desire to reduce the population Bhould be suppressed. The reports of automobile accidents are quite numerous for a season which has just opened. The Paris fashions call for corsets for men. but men refuse to be reshaped in this way. A Boston doctor enumerates a dozen causes of spring fever. But he fails to mention carpet-beating. A frog leg famine to predicted,, hut there are a number of citizens who are not in the least disturbed. Of course there is much to be said In favor of the recall of umpires under certain mournful circumstances. About this time of year took out for reports that yon** favorite ball team ts composed exclusively of cripples. Eggs are only five cents a dozen in China. No wonder that acting there - Is regarded as a degrading occupation. Still, the coinage of a half-cent coin would give the typewriter girls the opportunity to use their “V 6 hey oftener. * New York’s death rate has been halved since 1886. The people who live there are becoming more hardbkgained. .. v " The Invention of a sock that will not wear out Is another crushing blow at the good old institution of marriage. - The fashions for women this year are but a repetition of "those of 1835. Clothes as well as history repeat them■elves. A poetess asks: “Oh, where does beauty linger?" Answers from dealers In hair goods and cosmetics should be barred. Many a young man has a had halfhour in the forenoon explaining where he was between 2:30 and 5 the afternoon before. Knitting is used as a cure for bad nerves by overwrought women of Germany. It seems like ts terribly utilitarian form of therapy. Boston la to have a hospital for victims of the “blues.” Would it not be cheaper to buy them tickets so they could get out of Boston ? In Kansas City the other day the wife of a painless dentist horsewhipped his office girl. The scene is reported to have been painful. Telephone girls complain that the headgear they are compelled to wear produces corns on their ears. Still, corn on the ear isn’t so bad. There are reported to be fewer lawyers in New York than formerly, is Manhattan making this announcement in order to Induce immigration? A Denver woman keeps her savings in an icebox, presumably in the hope that some day she’ll have a cool million. ______ The edict has gone forth that women’s dresses this year are to have countless buttons. This is where the matrimony rate will take a big slump. It takes a true scientist to wait. When he sees a mosquito biting him, to discover before swatting whether hl« enemy is a germ carrier or not. California traveling men are to boycott places where tipping Is not prohibited. They will have plenty of places to avoid in this mercenary day. —. —+— Boston is to establish a hospital for the cure of the "blues." This shows what uninterrupted devotion to Robert Browning will bring a community to ' An expert advises simplicity In cultivating a garden. After all. the simplest words are best for relieving the min/i when the lettuce turns out to be The Germans now say bathing multiplies bacteria. It, however, reduces smells, and the one offsets the other. Sh A New York lawyer says that in America the cwok runs less risk than usually gets fall value for legal servTfae average man is not alarmed by