Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 138, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 June 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

There is bo fresher or better topic than baseball. >'- v S -Af* . . . The baseball knocker is simply a .reactionary in the field of sport. f' Thank goodness, the circus never threatened us with a farewell tonr. The wireless is fast being considered the greatest invention of the | **"• . pig Fortified by statistics, swat the first life and kill 9.327.648,595.671 other One person who need not be told that 'o the baseball team is in town is the office boy. ■- The bleachers are never willing to aduplt fhaf n hostile umpire Was born tree and equal. SBBEty..-' - ■B&3 If any person thinks that free Speech Is restricted in this country let him go to a baseball game. - Also, it is well not to forget that there Is a certain amount of healthy exercise in swatting the fly. pic ’ The best barefoot dance of them all Is the one the youngster does on the brink of the swimmin’ hole. * A London court is trying to decide what is a “sardine.'' Even the small fish get their day In court It appears to be absolutely useless to dispute with a locomotive for the right of way at a grade crossing. y There Is reason to suspect that the expressive slang phrase, “Never again!" originated on moving day. Despite the war of extermination on the mosquito and fly last year, the crusade will begin as usual this year. A Chicago reformer advocates the employment of policewomen In plain clothes. No use —they wouldn’t wear ’em! Every woman knows that she can be her own beauty doctor, but prefers the work of a more experienced masseur. .. i". ■ " A Chicago pastor refuses to marry eonples who are not physically sound, but we presume be winks at lovesickfeesß. King George’s doctor says that Chicago Is a pretty place. Anyway, most of the campaign portraits have come down. V' < J. *• Japanese children, It is said, are taught to write with both hands. It takes a halfnelson to master that language. . The price of gasoline has gone np as well as the price of hay. This 18 where the auto has nothing on the horse. Amateur gardeners sßbul2T"be“ ln-" formed that it Is not necessary to plant string beans to the music of mandolins. According to a fashion authority, styles in women’s hats this year are to be “more sensible." Going to raise garden truck on them? Certain dreamers talk about the millennium, but it will only come when baseball fans take the word of the umpire without a murmur. China now haß a native aviator of Its own. Very likely China before long will go to talking about the backward civilisation of the Occident. A food expert advises us to eat less wheat and more rice, but we* have a ▼ague suspicion that he Is doing press agent work for a chop suey factory. We see by the papers that two Los Angeles girls rescued two young men from the angry deep. This being leap year, there can be no doubt about the sequel. A Pennsylvania woman, charged with having ten husbands, has been sentenced to a year in -jail. If- the jury bad been made up of spinsters nothing short of capital punishment would have sufficed. A Boston professor Is quoted as saying that 1,000 westerners could restore rural New England to its former prestige. M-m-m. Well, it took nearly that number of New Englanders to : make a prestige for the west That story of a workman who fell 21 stories in New York and caught a rope several times on his way down and remarked on reaching the ground that he felt a little dizzy, certainly ,gives the reader a dizzy feeling. f Remember the cake walk? Perhaps . ths day will come when we can aak ths same question about rag time. A lady named Ylk Yug Ying is reported to be at tbe head of the woman suffrage movement in China. Nobody : can accuse her of not being a Y’s A five-story pickle factory In Chicago was destroyed by fire the other day. But, then, one could hardly sgjHWipl pickle factory to be prs-