Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 124, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 May 1912 — Page 2

Emmanuel Catty’s Radish

“Yes!" Emmanuel Catty sat up triumphantly. “With my patent manure I will grow the biggest radishes in the United States." -..-'f • Emmanuel Catty was a recent emigrant to America. On the voyage »thither he had become converted to vegetarianism, and henceforth intended to devote his life to the culture of vegetables, convinced that fame and fortune would crown his efforts. It had taken his fertile brain but a short period to evolve a manure, combined of more chemicals than could be named in a summer’s day. Of its universal efficacy he had no doubt; but desirous of proceeding with all prudence, he intended to try it first on the humble but tasty and succulent radish. He manured his plot of ground, and sowed his seed accordingly; but, as time went on, the leaves of only one radish appeared above the ground. “Never mind,” said Emmanuel, "It Pirtll be a monster.” The weather was exceedingly hot, but the radish grew and . prospered. Its leaves filled all Emmanuel’s little plot and broke down the fences. Emmanuel watered if daily from the well at the back of his house; but the heat continued, and by and by the well gave out Then, one by one, all the' wells in the neighborhood gave out; there was a drought. Presently the only green things in the neighborhood were the leaves of the huge vegetable, which, in spite of the heat, continued to grow and prosper. People came from miles round to see the radish, till Emmanuel piled a huge barricade of old meat tins in front of it, and demanded a oent apieoe for permission to loos Inside Then still more persons came, for they knew there must be something worth seeing, if they had to pay in order to see Emmanuel’s pride and his profits grew daily, till at last it was time to dig up the radish. But, behold! It would not come up. Emmanuel Catty, aware that it would he work of some difficulty, had requisitioned half-a-dozen neighbors with picks and shovels to assist him, and a large cart wherewith to carry the radish away. But the farther down he and his companions dag the farther the radish extended. Its bulk diminished, it is true, after they had dug down a hundred feet or so; it showed slight symptoms of narrouting, as if intending to taper, as do ordinary radishes. Hat its perfection had to be taken on trust, for let its owner and his companions dig as they would, the radish showed no signs of stopping. The tail seemed prepared to continue indefinitely. v By-this time scaffolding was erected, and the sides of the pit round the radish were strutted up; the whole state had gone wild with excitement, and three leading newspapers had opened subscription lists to enable Catty to continue the work of extracting the radish. So the digging continued, and as Catty superintended it, he realized suddenly the cause of the drought; that wretched radish had drawn to itself all the water in the neighborhood, and tapped the wells! If anything, this Incrcased-the interest of tbw public ;Tpeople felt that they had sacrificed something to the radish, and had a right in it; so the boring went on with undiminished energy. Emmanuel' Catty heading the workers and rejoicing ip the thought that he was famous at last After some weeks, however, the work came to a standstill; the heat in the mine was becoming Intense, and the radish still extended downward. Emmanuel nearly ’ wept with disappointment when the suggestion of giving up the task was first made. Come What would, be vowed he would see the end of that radish. “I believe," he cried, “that it goes right through the earth!” People looked at each other dubiously; it seemed possible that the idea was correct; but how to put It to the test? The heat in the mine was already stifling. Then Catty had another idea. “Let us excavate inside the radish itself!” he cried. “That will be cool enough.” This Tfras true; the water which ihe radish had sucked up into itself from so large an area kept it cool and fresh; besides. It was easy to work, and not difficult to strut up; so into the very, heart of the radish plunged Catty and hip devoted followers, burrowing steadily downward, and excavating the radish pulp day by day. Some of it they ate, thereby obviating the necessity for a large supply of provisions. The hole in the radish communicated with the mine, and the mitte In its turn with the upper atmosphere; so the air supply was sufficient, and they persevered. “It strikes me,” said one of Catty’s companions one morning, “that we must be really getting somewhere at last” He struck hia pick against the radish wall as be spoke, and it went through. The next moment a shout of horror burst from the workers. Wa*er was pouring in at the bole! Luckily, the hole was one of the radish texture strong. With already hewn fragments or radish, they contrived in desperate haste to stuff up the aperture. Then Catty stooped and tasted the water pooling . . . •, . “It’s salt!* be cried. “We are passffeei era f** their way Into the £?-' ~ •V*VK - - -r-?*

By B. L’ESTRANGE

middle of the radish root; and only when the radish walls were thick around-them did they venture to continue their downward path. At last one day, when Catty was leading as usual, be again struck his pick through the radish wall. He uttered a cry of dismay, fearing a second inrush of the sea. But instead light and fresh air flowed in, grateful Indeed to those who had lived so long in a radish-steeped atmosphere. “We have arrived!” cried Catty, grasping his companions’ hands. "This is the end!” Eagerly they enlarged the aperture, and- crawled cautiously out. Behold, on every hand was the sea! The radish root had emerged somewhere to the south of India, and they were resting on a little island of radish in the midst of the Indian ocean. At first they were terrified, but Catty encouraged them. “We can remain here a little time,” he said. “No doubt a ship will com® to take us off.” His words were brave, but the suspense was great Thq radish tip afforded but a slippery resting place; they were In considerable fear of the sharks, which they could see sometimes through the clear waters; and the radish here gnd there, enfeebled by the borings, crumbled, and they saw, large bits of It swept off by the waves. One day the piece on which Emmanuel Catty was standing broke. His comrades only seized him Just in time to prevent his being washed away. _ “What shall we do?” they cried. “How can we support life here?” Emmanuel leant forward suddenly, nearly falling into the water again. “A sail!” he cried. “A sail! We are saved!” As a matter of fact. It was a trail of smoke; but it issued from the funnels of a British steamer, and the captain took them off. He was a Scotsman, and his name was Macallister, and he utterly declined to believe in Catty’s story. “A radish!" cried Macalister, pointing to the root contemptuously. "Impossible! It is an island, and I shall take possession of it in the name of the British empire.” And be hoisted the union Jack accordingly. Meantime, in America a close watch had been kept at the mouth of the mine. Five thousand seven hundred and eighty-two reporters were continually on the watch for news of the bold adventurer, Catty. When word came of the action of Captain Macallister the excitement was intense. The radish had been planted in American earth; it had drawn its nutriment from America; it bras America’s by all the sacred laws of ownership, The English said that might be as it would; but they claimed the radish tip by right of discovery. It had been found and seized upon by Captain Macallister, and was Irrevocably English. Passion on both sides ran high. The newspapers rang with denunciation of American greed and English treachery. The American was directed to withdraw from Lon' don, when the- news spread-that the radish tip had disappeared. A Britlsh trading vessel, cruising near the place marked on the chart, could find no trace of it The excitement grew tenfold. Special commissions sent out from England and America only confirmed the fact of the disappearance. For a moment both excited parties were . inclined t 6 turn to Germany, and declare that she must have been guilty of some diabolical plot for the destruction of the radish. But meantime Emmanuel Catty had directed the attention of various scientists to the matter, and a little Investigation showed that the disappearance was perfectly natural. The great heat through which the radish had passed; the tunneling through its heart, the action of the sea, had been altogether too much for it; it was fading and withering away. In a few months the only traces left of the phenomenon were the enormous mining works—the largest in the world—so complete was the decay of Emmanuel Catty’s radish. There was a considerable demand for Catty’s manure; but the cost of its manufacture Was so great that it could not be sold at a profit. .Perhaps it was Just as well.

Missionaries Raise Coffee Price.

A New England gentleman reports the receipt of a letter from a doffee planter in Brazil referring to complaints in this country concerning the high price of coffee. The letter says: “Your people sent missionaries to tell the workers on our plantations that it was wrong to go naked, which was the custom, or partly so, in the majority of cases. Now they not only wear cldtbes, but they long to possess three dr lour pairs of those “yellow shoes’ which were sold down, here by your Boston drummers. Furthermore, our travelers to the States upon their return tell us of the great quantities of a beverage called beer consumed by your people, and sold at 5 cents a glass. Now, any one who understands the coffee business knows that ft costs more to produce a good cup of coffee than it does a glass of beer and there can be no question as to which Is the most beneficial You must either call home your missionaries, both religious and commercial, or pay til* price-"

RECENT advices from Bangkok intimate that the movement to establish a republic in Slam is becoming lefcs alarming to the young king who lately succeeded Chulalongkorn. The new ruler is well educated and admittedly liberal and promises to do much for the advancement of his country.

CRATERS ARE QUIET

Violent Eruptions in Islands of Samoa at End. Scientists Say Centuries Are Likely to Pass Before There Will Be Another Flow of Lava From Volcano. San Francisco. —The volcanic outbursts that for over six years have terrorized the Island of Savaii, in the Samoan group, have ceased at last. These eruptions have been almost Incessant, and there Is no record of any other volcanic center that has been so violently active for so long a tints. All the terrific energy of the Matavanu volcano seems now to have been expended. Dr. K. Sapper, Dr. W. Grevel and other students of volcanic phenomena express the opnion that there probablyv will be no other eruption of Matavanu for another century and perhaps never. „ The ground for their belief that the volcanic energy has been entirely exhausted is that since the first month of 1911 there has been a gradual and uninterrupted decline of energy, until every trace of it finally disappeared in October last In August last the lake of molten lava was covered with a hard crust, but cracks In Its surface still revealed the rosy light of the superheated' matter below, and through one or another volcanic vent a little smoke was still rising. Three months later a cold surface covered everything. There was hot a trace of smoke, not a sulphurous odor, no sign of fluid lava, nothing except a little steam here and there. So this is the end, perhaps for generations, of the remarkable phenomena that specialists have traveled from Europe to study. The trouble has been that they have found little vantage ground from which to pursue their work. The ebullitions have been so

FINDS COIN BEARING POTATO

Chinaqo Man Has Experience That Recalls Burbank at His Beat. Chicago.—Burbank’s best experiments with nature were rivaled with the discovery of a dollar bearing potato. a specimen of which was found at the home of Edgar Bauman, 2741 West Division street, so he says. “Yes, sir, there was a silver dollar in—the potato,” said Mr. Baumann. “Perhaps it had been grafted on the young potato when it was only a dime and the potato and coin grew up together. “It was this way. Y’see, we get our potatoes from a farm near LaGrange, 111. Today we got a new mess of them. Our cook started to cut up enough for lunch. On one potato the knife stuck. My wife was passing. She investigated. It was tougher than a green potato. My wife and the cook broke the potato open and there was a silver dollar. There was some excitement around here for a while. We opened all the other potatoes. But they were Just ordinary, everyday potatoes and not a oent in the lot t>f them.”

Acquitted for Klssing Neighbor.

Allentown. Pa. —Mrs. Kattie Wert, dashingly dressed, appeared In court, as prosecutor of David Llewellyn, who, she said, on coming to her house .to borrow a clothesline, took advantage of her being alone and kissed her. Llewellyn admitted the charge and said she was so pretty he could not help It The Jary concluded the kiss did not hurt her, and acquitted LlewellTS- : . .. .

SIAM’S THRONE IS NOT SO SHAKY HOW

continuous that it has been Impossible to witness the phenomena and their results except at long range. There was no volcano where these eruptions, beginning in August 1905, were centered. All the many volcanoes in the island had been quiescent for over a century. Suddenly volcanic vents were opened on the floor of a deep valley about eight* miles from the northeast coast of Savaii. The whole valley was sodn filled with lava. The ejecta built up a ridge of lava, about 1,000 feet thick, where the valley had been; and above the ridge arose a mountain of outpourings 2,000 feet high, to which the name of Matavanu was given. Over 30 square miles of the island were finally covered to various depths with the fluid lava, destroying many native houses with their areas of cultivation. It has been estimated that at times the outpouring of lava from the center of eruption amounted to from 2,000 to 3,000 tons a minute. The coral reef, about five miles from the shore, is the outer boundary of the lagoon between the coast and the reef. The lagoon has been entirely filled with lava for a distance of about five miles along the coast and a long lava ridge was built up In the sea beyond the coral reef. The neighboring salt waters became a superheated caldron, killing millions of corals and flshj and many fish, thus cooked, were collected and eaten by the natives.

DOG FIGHTS WITH FIREMEN

Canine Would Not Permit Them to Enter Blazing Tenement to Quench Flames. f. Philadelphia.—An old and feeble, but somewhaj determined dog created considerable excitement in a three-story tenement house at 623 Washington avenue, first by starting a -fire, then giving the alarm, and

May Construct World’s Largest Ship Plant in San Fran- * cisco. San Francisco. —One possible reason why Charles M. Schwab of the Bethlehem Steel company and the Union works has decided to build the most capacious dry dock in the world at Hunters Point, San Francisco, was made known by Edward C. Holmes of this city, who prepared tentative plans for Mr. Schwab’s inspection. In anticipation of the new business that will be brought Tto the Pacific coast by the opening of the Panama canal private capital, aided by a sub--1 sidy of 3 1-3 per cent from the Dominion government to run for 35 years, wni bnild a dry dock 92$ feet long at Esquimau, R. C., on the Strait ot Joan de Fuca. Holmes drew the plans. “So far as I know,” he said “the largest docks in the world now complete are those at Glasgow, 880 feet size; Southampton, 830, and Bremerhaven, 755. The new dock at Esqufe malt will otrtmeasnre them all, and Mr. Schwab is planning to outmeasdre Esquimalt. “I am not in his confidence and do not know what his final decision will be, but when I drew tentative plans fo£» him they contemplated a dock I,* 050 feet long. "In return for aid from the Dominion government the company at Esquimau will give government business the right of way, bat It is to be paid for at commercial rates.” .No American shipbuilding company enjoys a government subsidy, hot the

Schwab Plans Big Dock

lastly by beating back the firemen who came to extinguish the blaze. The troublesome animal is the property of Santo Accarito, who occupies the top floor of the house. While the occupants of the house were asleep the dog knocked a lamp from a table, setting fir© to the carpet. With loud barks the dog aroused his master, who quickly gave the alarm, and all in the house fled to the street, except the dog. When the firemen arrived and attempted to enter,, they found a very much excited canine standing in the doorway ready to repel boarders. Although somewhat senile, the dog showed a formidable row of teeth, and the firemen hesitated. Finally one, somewhat bolder than the rest, flung the dog to one side and the fire fighters entered.

FATHER WAS WIFE’S ADMIRER

Son Attacks and Beats Parent Who r Comes to Visit Him After Fifteen Years of Separation. San Bernardino, Cal. —When Oscar Johnson was about to enter his hom«( he saw a stranger embracing his wife. The husband seized a brick, rushed Into the house and Btruck the strangei* such a tremendous blow on the head that he was knocked unconscious and may have suffered a fractured skull. Then Johnson investigated and found that the unconscious man was his own father, O. W. Johnson, of Peoria, 111., whom he had not seen for* fifteen years, and who had conje here to surprise his son with a visit. —When v saw her busband strike his fathei* she went Into hysterics and became threatened with complete 'nervous breakdown. She declared she would seek a divorce from a husband whose Jealousy was so unreasonable and whose suspicions were so unfounded. Johnson said he would take a second look before he leaped again, and| sought a physician, who probably will attend both the wife and father for some time.

biggest dry dock in the world could bid for navy business, and shipping men here pointed out today that the presence of such a* dock would remove one of the objections heretofore raised against the policy of maintaining a battleship fleet on the Pacific coast.

SET KING TREE IN NEW YORI

Park Authorities Replace Royal Eng lish Oak Planted by Edward VII. New York.—A royal English oak tree has been set in Central park) a. the official successor of one planted by the late king Edward VII. when he visited the United States in 1860. The king’s tree died in 1908 after a twenty years’ attempt by the park authorities to nurse it out of persistent ill health. The new tree Is a perfect specimen about 15 years old and destined to become one of the largest and most per- 1 fectly formed trees in the park. Its location is within a stone’s throw of a. white oak set out by Washington ring. -

German Women Good Rat Killers.

Baltimore, Ind. —When customs officers opened a dry goods box of a woman passenger on the steamer Breslau, on its arrival here, a dozen giant rats hopped out German women oq board instead of Jumping for high places, Joined in the chase and not a rodent escaped. Every artltie in the box, including several picture bate Ml shawls, was destroyed by the rata.

MAKE NOTE OF THESE

“DONTS” THAT MAY SOME TIME SAVE LIFE OR LIMB. Seemingly Simple Precautions, but Even Experienced Railroaders Will Sometimes Forget and Easily Avoidable Acci- • dents Result. Don’t try to drills hole in a pieceof work without first clamping the ma-

spindle with a drift. Don’t leave any material or tools close to the track where repairs have been made to a car, as Borne switchman or other employee might, reoeive injury while switching the cars. - Don’t throw any material or tools from the top of a car until you are satisfied that no person is about the car who 1b liable to become Injured by same. Don’t use an iron bar as a- lever for a ratchet jack; use the wooden lever made for the purpose. Don’t throw pieces of wood having nails in them on the ground In such a manner as to allow the nail points to point upward; you or some one else might step on them. Don’t put a scaffold where It Is liable to he struck when trains are being switched. Don’t use trestlfes on soft ground without first placing solid board footings. Don’t release your hold when assisting others to carry heavy material (timber for Instance) until all have been notified. If one end is thrown down before the men at the other end have been notified, some one is going to get hurt i Don’t lift one end of a heavy piece of material that you are assisting others to raise until all Is ready; you are liable to catch somebody’s fingers or toes. Don’t take a truck out from under a car until you are satisfied that the jacks oj* trestles on which the car rests are safe. Don’t leave to be switched a car having partly fastened handholds. Don’t try to cross between cars while switching is going on. Don’t use any tools that are in a worn-out condition. Don’t leave any loose material whatever on the tops of cars that are to be switched. Don’t leave any material, trucks or cars on crossings.—Exchange.

Runaway Engine Traveled Far.

An engine had been attached to one of the mail trains to the western district of New South Wales, not long pgn, and after having heen turned on; the turntable at Katoomba station was, running back to the Penrith'locomotive depot along the turntable siding, when It took the "ifrrong line. After traveling about a hundred yards it ran over the end of the siding and embedded Itself heavily in the embankment at the foot of the railway cutting. The distance from the turntable to the scene of the derailment was sufficient to allow the engine to gain, considerable speed, and its momentum was so great when it crashed intothe bufferhead of thp* stopblock that the engine was practically carried over the obstacle. Before Its progress could be arrested the locomotive had traveled over a quantity of rocks. The engine toppled over on one side to such an extent that the boiler was nearly level with the permanent way.;

Life Instinct

“When the vernal sun is warming the earth, and April is spreading up the Bibping world with resurrection, by what magic is the transformation wrought? In the dim nether glooms of the deep sea all the fin people have received the summons; the unrest has taken hold of them, the fever of migration; and the myriad hosts from 1 the green Floridian water and azure Carib swiftly they come, through the soundless, trackless spaces under the broken whitish day, up to the cool! fresh rivers and pools of the north. How did they know the date? By instinct? But what is that? The com*: muni cation came to them inexpHcltly As it comes to us, the unuttered wend, the presage, the portent. And their brothers the birds, too; they come flying northward through the night. To them, too, the message must have gone abroad To say that the word went forth among them is to use the. simplest and most elementary imaginery” : i ; '

Early Signs.

“Do you believe that we ever show* our real bent when we are children?”* asked Binks of the genial philosopher, “Yes,” said the genial philosopher,! *T know a barber in this town who atj the age of five was the most disagreed able little shaver you ever saw, andj always mixed up la some kind of * had scrape."—Harper’s Weekly

terial firmly to the table; it Is both,' dangerous to man and tools. Don’t feel a drill or reamer while it is running. Don’t try to put drills in a spindle while it is running. Don't put your finger under material which you are drilling in order to ascertain whether the drill is about through. Don’t try to stop the drill press