Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 119, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 May 1912 — AN INTERRUPTED TOAST [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

AN INTERRUPTED TOAST

George—Miss Evelyn, I rise ■ pose— , tg’fJBSM Evelyn (hastily interrupting him)— S I am yours, dear George. “I Surprising. When some “pugs” stay --fl A single round Our wonder ~ ~ - Indeed profound. ■ " >'' -mm A Sign of Old Age. j “It seems to me that Worthington has been growing old rapidly dnrlsi|i the past few year*.” “Yes, his hair is becoming rather gray.” “It isn’t his hair that makes him seem old to me. A man may have gray hair and still be young in spirit; but Worthington has reached tl*i§3 point in life where he can look at a rosy-cheeked girl and refer to her a* a healthy young animal Instead «t - ; calling her an angeL”

Almost Miraculous. Pierced by the bullet of an unseen foe, the hero had died in great agony. Ten seconds later he was standing before the curtain, smiling and bow* ing his thanks to the applauding a«4fe“ ence. ~ Beats the pulmotor, doesn’t it) ■ - , Holding Him Down. “Yep,” said Silas Hayrick, “we’ve decided t’ send that no-count Reuben * t’ congress.” . - T-- : '-Kf»Sg “But why?” we asked. “ 'Cuz every time we send him any* . whcres else he gits out on a writ ol|| habeas corpus.” Warmth. “Did that investigation develop any»|| thing in the nature of the third degree?” '"ffiSl “It went away beyond that When 1 I left it was in the neighborhood of | a hundred in the shade.” ■— - jMEiIMs His Reasoning. “Why did the organist play the wedding march sofast that the bride and groom had almost to dance up the aisle?” “I suppose he thought that maw < riage was something of a two-step.” , Explanation. He—Why do they call a wife’s dial lowance pin money? She—Because *the average man § thinks it’s enough for her if a woman gets the money to buy pins enough to hold her old clothes together.