Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 119, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 May 1912 — WHAT DID HE MEAN? [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

WHAT DID HE MEAN?

The Landlubber —Did you have a bad trip on your last voyage? The Sea Captain—Yes; very bad. My wife went along. Needless Alarm. What’s that? What's that? Did someone fire? Ah, no. ’Twas Just An auto tire. Well, Hardly. Bacon—l see in some parts of Australia the telephone is regarded as an amusement rather than .a necessity. Egbert—Well, they can hardly consider ft an amusement when central says the line is busy, can they? Lack of Realism. “Did you see where some actress says that audiences do not like to see husband and wife acting as lovers on the stage.” “Of course not. It’s not natural.” Announcing the Engagement. > “Miss Upperton, are you engaged to be married to Count Nocash?” “There is absolutely no truth in the rumor. Marie, show the gentlemen the ring and give him a photograph.” ■ i " Unhappy Jane. “Poor Jane is in despair." “What is the matter with Jane?” “Why, she has just begun, to realize that she’s too fat for an actress and not fat enongh for a prlma donna.” Not Necessarily So. “So Jones has become an actor.” “Has her -- -X—---“You said so.” L__— ' “No, I didn’t I said he had gone on the stage.” Supremacy. “There Is one state in the Union in which women have the upper hand without the aid of the ballot” “Which one is that?” “The state of matrimony” 19 its Kind. “Don’t you think this open fire Is a big improvement over a commonplace radiatorr V .. •- ■ “Certainly; in fact, it Is a grate relief.” .- *6 Md - •• • . - .

Confidential. Little Willie —Mr. Jones, do yon like lemon pie? 0 Casual Visitor— Yes, Willie. rMil Little Willie (anxiously)— You donfr. like it very do you? Casual Visitor (surprised)—Why-M you ask. Wttief’lf '-' Little Willie—Because we’ve gop« for dessert and ma’s afraid you'll wsll| a second hdlp.