Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 117, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 May 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The Daily Republican Kxwpt Son day HEALEY * CLARK, Publisher*. RENSSELAER. INDIANA. ■BHpW'iep',■ ••• -itf: V- ,; v-£'• - A calendar gives no trustworthy cine to weather. '4.. ■ j . ' .. f_.,\ Sr No sunstrokes have thus far been reported this spring. ; • ■ —-T 1 ■ Life Is getting to be Just one state convention after another. r Distinctly, the opening of the basem bsu season was not a frost. Now the umpire in his turn becomes the object of oratorical attack. Nobody will care how much the fly Is kicked around this summer. F You do not hear band musicians ' objecting Seriously to political campaigns. A largo spot has been discovered on the sun. Draw your own political 1 deductions. When an editor becomes gloomy he rises to predict the revival of the hoopskirt Our notion of an easy Job is to persuade a man to become a candidate for office. The Incubator erase is leading to numerous Area This will not, however, check the craze. New York, the worst crowded metropolis In the world, always has room for easy mark visitors The world certainly do move. It has been lo! these many years since • we read a folding bed Joke. Much more readily do some men pay out hard cash to a baseball Impresario than to a coal dealer. f, Now they are going to grow Turkish tobacco In California Why not as well as Havana or Connecticut? p A New York woman wants a divorce because her husband has another wife. Isn’t she the finicky thing! jfej A Cleveland lawmaker insists that male bathers on the beaches be forced to wear skirts. The shameless hussies! The report that The Harvester was sold for $50,000 is enough to make an automobile salesman green with envy. The Little theater in New York is said to be for Intelligent people. Now we know why it is called the Little theater. A license of $1 has been Imposed on cats in New Jersey, but a license on midnight concerts would be preferable. ■ ‘T— 1 People who Insist on building near the Ohio and Mississippi rivers should get on the safe side by building skyscrapers. That Missouri man who is hatching grasshoppers to feed his chickens should be careful that the supply does * not exceed tbe demand. - While those reformers are Investigating the baseball trust, we hope they will establish an age limit for peanuts. Just to prove that there is nothing

new under the sun a Harvard professor has discovered that women talk too much. A Harvard professor says Oklahoma Is five years ahead of any other state. It's a long way from Harvard to Oklahoma. too. A European Judge has declared that It is not lawful to cheat American tourists. Nor especially easy, we may add. Why does no one ever Intone a hymn to the vernal recrudescene of the chorus of the frogs? It is not so bad. “ Some alarmist now announces that sauerkraut 1% a dangerous explosive, but we’d rather risk it than boiled cabbage. A statistician tells us that only §P one song out of ninety-five becomes popular. Judging from the popular songs we have heard, the worst song | of the ninety-five is selected. A military authority tells us that / Washington could be captured easily by a foreign foe. He does not realize that myriads of office seekers would | arise to defend their chosen city. A woman In Philadelphia broke the record by obtaining a license to marry £, three minutes after her divorce had £ been granted. Compared to this. Philadelphia. Is even swifter than Reno. 11. Russia is said to be planning for the greatest navy of dreadnoughts In the world. And by the time it gets it built dreadnoughts will be all out of style. Navies are largely built to be thrown plg3 A Boston reformer says each bridegroom should have a certificate of financial competence to support a wife, and each bride a certificate of culinary competence to feed a husband. In the absence of these there should be no wedding ceremony.