Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 113, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 May 1912 — Fat Juror Excused; Can’t Keep Awake [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Fat Juror Excused; Can’t Keep Awake

CHICAGO.— Only thin.mefi and “bums” are meant for jury service. So reasons John W. White, strenuous butcher and emulator of the obesity propensities of the late “Baby" Bliss. . • White struggled along for nearly a week trying to be a perfectly good Juror in the Municipal court, but he failed dismally, because he couldn’t keep/awake. t Bailiffs stood at his side and nudged him in the ribs. ’Twas like trying to tickle a rhinoceros. Then they kicked his shins, pulled his ears and, grasping firmly, shook him by the shoulders. White would grin sleepily and try to beat his record of the first day, when he stayed awake for ten minutes. But somehow he always slipped a cog. Each time an ardent lawyer waxed elo-

Quent the legal train of thought was wrecked by a peaceful sign or snore. ‘Z-z-z, br-r-r-r-r, whew-ew-eww-ew!” .. The lawyer usually became indignant, andthen the kicking process had to be done all over. Matters reached a climax the other day when White appealed to the one whom he blames for all hip troubles — the man whoim paneled him. as a juror —Municipal judge Walker. “Jury service gives me sleeping sickness,” he said. , Then he mentioned his weight—3lo pounds—and the fact that he is a butcher and has spent most of bis time 'for several months in the ice box of his brother’s meat market at 26 South Fifth avenue. He said he* just couldn’t stand the-warm courtroom any longer. . “You see, only thin men and bums are meant for jury service,” said White. “A man. whp spends; most of Ids days in an ice box, dr weight who worked strenuously can't stand this program of doing nothing. This warm air just makes ft fefiow sleepy.” ... j ’ He was excused from further service.