Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 107, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 May 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Georgia may yet desire to cast Its vote for Tyrus Cobb. ' —. '~ v ~ ! The gladdest words of tongue or pen are: "Fair and warmer," weather man. Boston astronomers have discovered » new star. Second base or shortstop? Occasionally the weather man forgets himself and lets us enjoy a pjeasant day. i Explorers tell us that there are valuable coal deposits at the south pole, not to mention the loe I * The prodigal son no longer comes back to share in the fatted calf. He prefers to wire for a draft. Some think a Chinese wall should be built along the Mexican border, and then let them scrap it out. Another blow to the popularity of the turkey trot. A judge in Connecticut rules that it is not immoral. The Pulitzer school of journalism has refused to admit women. There Will, therefore, be no journalettes. 1 _____________ A Missouri man hit his wife with a pound of, butter. He seemed to think a soft answer would turn away wrath.

Scientists say it is too cold on Mars to support life. Perhaps, though, the planet is like Boston —merely intelleotuaL Butter can be made directly from grass, says a scientific sharp, and perhaps it can. We have long had apple butter. Massachusetts legislators propose at tax of $5 a year on bachelors and some of them claim the freedom is worth it A Philadelphia citizen says he lives cm $1 a week, but he does not say who feeds and clothes him in the meantime. The druggist who boasts that he has accumulated 175,000 prescriptions has no statistics to show how many of them cured. I tn Nyack, which is in New York, not Tasmania or Saxe-Meiningen, the best are seeking men to fill them.

' A London specialist proposes to cure baldness by grafting hair on the dome. This will create a demand for Ivory experts. A health expert avers that standing on the head will clear the brain, but too much of It is likely to develop a race of flatheads. i ii r The average baseball fan cares not a whit about the malefactions of the baseball trust as long as the home team wins a pennant. A Baltimore man has Just undergone his twenty-fourth surgical operation. In one way he is qualified to be the village cut-up. An astronomer in that dear Paris Informs us that the earth Is 100,000,000 years old. What are a few ciphers more or less? Modern court procedure is said to be a joke, but the joke is on the poor wretch who has not enough money to hire a flock of lawyers.

With both poles discovered and imblic Interest on the wane, It looks as if our professional discoverers may be forced to go to work. -- - The Arctic explorer says dog meat Is delicious. In spite of which expert opinion It seems cannibalistic to be eating man’s best friends. i A preacher man tells us that the saddest hour of the day comes after sunset, but our saddest hour comes when the alarm clock rings. It took a woman to run down New Tork’s taxicab bandits. Next thing we know we BhaU hear of the Adventures of Mrs. Sherlock Holmes. ' A financier Informs ns that the man who earns 119.25 a week is worth $25,000. The only trouble is that some financier has charge of the $25,000.

A Chicago man Is being tried for having married seven women, but there are those who believe that he should be examined by a flock of alienists. A Maryland citizen committed suicide rather than submit to an operation for appendicitis. Evidently he preferred an undertaker’s bill to a doctor’s biL A dispatch from England tells ns that schoolboys of Eton are now allowed to wear soft shirts. Verily, the British monarchy is falling to pieces. A New York woman sent her congratulations to her divorced husband when he married again. She should bate sent her regrets to the new wife. fe Our damsels weer rings on their fingers and feathers on their shoes, bat there is no danger that they will wear bells on their u?em— not in this ell-