Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 101, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 April 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The early bird doesn’t set the worm merely by being early. n* ? Every little presidential candidate has a keynote of his own. In case of a coal strike will the coal Mn give apace for a mushroom bed? The cellar of a Pennsylvania farmer has dropped Into a coal mine. Lucky man. Our own weather Is bad enough, but in rihinn they are having a reign of terror. Being shot at occasionally Is not one of the legitimate annoyances of a king’s job. A California woman with a “model husband” has been granted a divorce. She deserves tt. Another blow to woman suffrage. An Illinois genius has Invented an unbreakable window. Butter can be made directly from glass, says a scientist. Possibly a misprint, for “grease.” The Countess of Warwick says that a woman is at her best at fifty. Guess how old the countess Is. «A Missouri girl wants $2,000 for seven kisses. One would almost imagine from that that kisses are scarce. The New Jersey assembly has passed a bill imposing a $1 tax on female cats. Is there a mouse trap trust? This Is not such an extravagant nation after all. A New Yorker was killed crossing the subway tracks to save a nickel. Sarah Bernhardt will get $7,000 a week for playing In vaudeville —almost enough to buy fresh eggs every morning. -- Proprietors of Ithaca soda fountains will not hall with joy the news that Cornell students have adopted the notreat rule. A judge in New York rules that mother love is not necessary to a child. In some cases we are In favor of the recall. It Is said that 200 former criminals are driving taxicabs in New York. In reading the above sentence the “former” Is silent A preacher says that the saddest hour of the day comes after sunset That’s when most of the vaudeville stunts are pulled off. . A Parisian philosopher says that violent movements produce violent thoughts. He must have found a slippery sidewalk somewhere. Ten aviators have been killed so far this year, compared with four In the same time last year. Does this Indicate how aviation progresses? A mah in Yonkers tried to. kick a dog and fell wither legs paralyzed. Given nature has joined in the general objection to kicking dogs around. Two New York motormen ran over the same unfortunate pedestrian. Those two men are wasting their talents by not getting Into Wall street Andy Carnegie arises to remark fimt the farmer Is the only happy man in this country. And yet we seldom hear of a steel magnate dying of grief. A Cleveland preacher says the American home is rapidly disappearing. He must be missing the old-fashioned dinners h* used to be Invited to. Laced boots with spats have been authorized by the kaiser with the undress uniform of German soldiers. German army officers may have spats, but they are forbidden to have duels. The attorney general of California has decided that when a California woman becomes the wife of an alien she loses her vote. Does a German girl who is married to an Irishman become Irish? bSc&ubc she had a revolver in her stocking a Los Angeles woman was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon. Her hobble skirt must have been longer than most of those that are seen hereabouts. Astronomers have discovered a new •tar in the heavens. Theatrical managers discover them in any old place pearly every day. and when 'the natural supply gives out they manufaotUre “Tl—- ■» A New York physician who married • doctor wants a divorce because all Ids patients deserted him and went to her for medical advice and treatment Some men are so exacting that fliey are sot satisfied merely to have ft all In the family. ‘ A. Maurice Low in a lecture at Yale the other night characterized newspaper reporters as "men of trivial probably referred to Mr. Low as on. wh 0 «-.!.« spoke * v " r '* :