Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 94, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 April 1912 — Here's the Champion of All Lazy Men [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Here's the Champion of All Lazy Men

/^HIiSAGO.—The great West side lost V one of Its most picturesque citi* sens—temporarily—the other day. Gustave Schillinger, who existed—it would be rank hyperbole to use a wqrd implying so much activity as "lived’* in Gustave's connection —at - 1466 North Paulina street, was sentenced by Judge Goodnow to the bridewell for six months. Before sending him away Judge Goodnow paid a tribute to Gustave for his unexampled skill In loafing. "You are the most monumental example of lazy man it has ever been my privilege to meet,” said the court. "You are on© of those fellows who were bom tired and never got rested.” Persons ambitious to fill Schillinger’s championship, now that he has been condemned to toil, may well pause as they consider his achievements as they were brought out in court Here are some of, the records: For nine years he has done absolutely no work, except what he was compelled to do at the bridewell. During these nine years his wife and eight children provided him with food, clothes and spending money, while his mother provided him with a house, rent free. in the morning and send for his breakfast If there was no money in the house for food, he would send one of his children to his mother with a note asking for 25 or 60 cents.

If his mother happened to be out of funds, he arose and got work for the children, stringing beads. The children could earn from 25 to 50 cents a day at this work. .Schillinger never strong any beads himself. He got a comfortable chair and bossed the Job. * The clapboards of the house were falling oft. When he was asked why he didn’t nail them up he coined an epigram as follows: "In the winter it’s too cold; when it’s warm there’s no neoessity.” Judge Goodnow heard all this With growing indignation. When the testimony was all in he turned to the defendant and asked: "Have you anything to say?" "No, I guess not," replied Schillinger, languadly. "Very well," said the judge, “now Pm going to teach you the work habit. Six months.” "0, exclaimed—SeWHtogerr suddenly waking up. "It’s too much. I haven’t done anything." “That’s just the trouble,” commented the court.”