Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 89, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 April 1912 — Page 3

PIN-POINT, VIEWPOINT. ' ■ “I notice that the club women at :New York have begun a crusade against long hatpins.** said the tall man In the crowded aisle. “Absurd,” growled the dark stranger next to him. L Ji', BoBM* The tall man looked around jin some surprise. “Don’t you consider ;the long hatpin a dangerous menace?’* " T"/ sl “Btuff and nonsense!** snorted the stranger. : The tall man spoke with much deliberation. s • "Don’t you know,** he demanded, “that hatpins are dangerous the way they are made?” J .< “I know nothing of the sort,” the dark man spluttered. “I make ’em.**

Chaos Wasn’t There.

"First thing you do/’ says the employer to the new young man who has been engaged as a city salesman, “you go Into the back office and take that desk the other man used, and see if you can get some, order out of chaos.” An hour later the enthusiastic young man appears and diffidently reports: "Mr. Klmphlet, I am sorry, but 1 have looked all through the card Index and the telephone directory, and 1 can’t find the address of Mr. Chaos to solicit that order from him.”— Judge.

WOULDN’T IT BE GRAND?

Swellington—So Dobbin* lias a new Idea for opera 7 Wellington—Ye*; hi* notion is to hare the house sing and the stage talk.

No Change.

■i"' When poet* trill 1 Of pumpkin pie. Dyspeptic* still Just want to die.

Prefers Home.

"How 1* it that Rufus never takes you to the theater any more?" "Well, you see, one evening it rained and so we sat in the parlor.” "Yea" "Well, ever since that we —oh, 1 don’t know but don’t you think that theaters are an awful bore?"—Cornell ■Widow.' -

Cruel Words.

“lam thinking very seriouslj of going on the lecture platform." “If you do, be sure to carry along a broom." "What for?” "The best thing you could do on th* lecture platform would be to sweep it off.”

All Cut Up.

Miss Simpson—Kin you cut mah Initials on do Ice, Mlstah Johnson? Mah .name’s Gertrude Lizbeth Agnes May Gladys Penelope Dorothy Simpson. Mr. Johnson (dubiously)—-Well, I could do dat. Miss Simpson, but it .■would spoil de pond fo’ skatin’!— Puck. ' \ ' .' . ‘

The Other Fellow.

"Why do you always frown when I say ’we must economizer ” asked one statesman.' ' “Your grammar is at fault," replied the other. “You shouldn’t use the first person plural. You should say, ’they must economise.**#

A HOT ONE.

W* Caustlque—l celebrate my imine for the first time.

Sure.

HwU .Mat. amfi. worth while Who mb be W And wear « smile On moving day.

SMILES

Perverted Proverbs.

“But, pa,” whimpered Johnny, “ma’s spanked me already for bein’ sassy to her.” “Well, I’m going to wallop you for fti too," retorted his father. “And do you know why?” > j “Well.” said Johnny, resolved to get the greatest amount of satisfaction out of a hopeless state of affairs, “I guess It’s becus what’s sass for the goose is sass for the gander.” . "Whereupon pa laid it on just a trifle harder.—Harper’s Weekly. - -

Incontestable.

One evening a golfer sat in his grandfather’s old armchair, eagerly scanning the stop-press news, when his little son came to him and proudly exhibited a brand new "colonel,” which he said he had found over at the links. "Are you sure it was a lost ball, Davie?” cautiously inquired the. golfing sire. "Lost?" said David. “Of course it was lost. I saw the man looking for it.”—World of Golf.

Some Relief.

“You’ll oblige me,” said the holdup man, emphazlng the request by displaying a dangerous looking weapon, “if you’ll just clasp your hands together at the back of your head, No loafing on the job, either, if you please.” “Thanks/' responded the victim, promptly complying. “I usually have to hold my hands up, and this isn’thalf so tiresome.”

Those Cold Storage Egge.

Bill —Had a funny thing happen up to our house this morning. Jill—What was it? "Why, my wife put some eggs in the fireless cooker, so we could have ’em for- breakfast, and the eggs must have took the thing for an incubator, for we got young chickens out of the eggs."

Not a Forcible Illustration.

“Do you know,” asked the abstainer, “that the money which the American people spend for. drink in a single year would be sufficient to build a stone tower forty feet in diameter and a mile high?” "Would it?" asked the man with the spongy nose, “but who want* a silly old stone tower like that?”

The Right Kind.

First Girl—l like a man with *' past; he is always so interesting. Second Girl—That’s true; but 1 don’t think he's so interesting a* a man with a future. - Third Girt—l like a man with a present and the more expensive the present is the more interest I take in him. —London Telegraph.

TOO BAD.

First* Tramp—You’ve got a cold. Second Tramp—Yes! I went to sleep under a wagon last evening, and during the night some one removed the wagon.

Any Day.

The sir! who shoots And shoots to kill. Can be a star In vaudeville.

Natural Curiosity.

. "A man who was rescued from drowning at a seacoast resort last summer, as soon a* he recovered -his senses, turned round and stared hard at the ocean." “What he do that torr "He had swallowed so much of it he wanted to see If there was any left.” -

Gravity.

A precocious child who had been attending ope of the public kindergartens fell rom * ladder. Her mother caught her up from the ground in terror. exclaiming: “Oh, darling! How did you fall?” “Verticallyreplied the child, without a second’s hesitation.—Satire.

Inclusive.

F “I’m surprised,** said Gabble, "that the trust evil. ’ it*s rubber a bard thing' g Wl JWUB siMa* ; ~ catnonc Dianaaru ana iinies,

Not Enough Fanfare, Maybe.

*1 thought it was reported that Mr. Blotters, the millionaire philanthropist, would lire away a large sum to charity on the first of the month .• ft “It was announced that he would to 10, hut ft seem* that he couldn't gat the act of donation nroDerlr staged.”

Two Pretty Frocks for the Younger Generation

MENDING the arrival of the washin Ing cotton frock some stress is heft Ing laid on tussore for both school and bettermost dresses, fashioned very simply after the manner of one of one of the accompanying sketches. Only a very good tussore is capable of satisfactorily creating such a frock, dr, failing that, a light-weight Shantung, and only a fair price will ensure the best coloring and dyeing, lam persuaded to offer these few hints to avert the possibility of any mother being tempted by cheapness, the dearest form of economy. The choice of color is so entirely Individual that

one almost hesitates to be definite. However, the advice may be proffered to keep the eye alert, for some -pleasant bronze .greens, a rich tomato shade, a Mandarin blue, Wedgwood blue and several pale mauves. Some really fascinating schemes can be worked out on these lines, the frock completed by a shady Tagal or fancy Japanese straw, wreathed with flowers in tones, when such, is applicable, as violets with a mauve dress, ivy leaves and berries with dull greens, etc. It may, furthermore, be helpful to those who are tempted to essay this model to learn that the skirt is arranged separately from the bodice and the two united by a band, while the latter is also supported on a thin lining. The belt and buttons are both of the silk; but the collar and cuff* suggested are of coarse canvas, embroidered at the edge. I should also like this frock, for a certain type of child, without these additions, z the neck just squared out and set into a narrow yoke band of the tussore, embroidered either in a light scroll design or self-toned silk, or worked with a device of French knots. The presence of some tiny checked

LOOK AFTER THE FURS NOW

Their Preservation and Good Appearance Depend Upon Proper Atten* > tlon Given Them. It Is safe to say that all women delight in fine furs, yet good set* are often spoiled through sheer ignorance or through disregard of the fact that ( they need attention. Few owner* of furs are so callous as to neglect the storing away in spring and the periodic examination during the summer, yet the same furs which are carefully hoarded in camphor and cedar for half the year are often thrown about “just anyhow” during the other half. In our changeable climate it is no uncommon thing to get one’s furs drenched with rain. In this event it is disastrous to set them to dry by the fire, as is so often done. Heat means destruction to fur, as it deprives It of the valuable oil which keeps it glossy and pliable. Once this oil is lost, nothing can restore the fur to its original beauty. For this reason furs should never be left In a hot room when not being worn. To, dry them they should be hung in a draft in a cool room and shaken from time to time. When really dry they should be beaten lightly with a cane. ,y j— * - , _ Sult Skirt* for Spring. Seldom ha* there been a season when so many fancy trimmed suit skirt* were shown as this spring, says the Dry Goods Economist This is due to the vogue for the demi-tallor made, which call* for a skirt to correspond. The newest idea in the market at present is the draped skirt, which Is shown in some of the highclass suit* of soft materials, such a* chiffon, taffeta apd charmeuse. There are a few models of this kind now in the market and many more are in

Skirts Are Marrow.

Skirts are still narrow, but not in any degree hobbled, even In the more dressy of the tailored suits. They are frequently provided with little “kick" even In a two-yard skirt Some of the smarter models hate this inset ylalt of a contrasting color and ma-

taffetas and washing silks emboldens the belief that these win, In all probability,- be pressed into the service of bettermost frocks, more especially for girls verging on the young “Miss" stage. Another charming material la Santoy, a silk and wool mixture, brought out In most artistic colors. A dear little frock of this I saw arranged with a high waist corded bodice that was cut in the favorite square at the throaFand worked with a narrow design of rat-tall In tone. Taffeta has settled down Into a steady acceptance for picturesque paletots and coats and skirts. A typical costume for taffetas, .serge, or the new soft woolen whipcord forms the subject of the second sketch. The long, sweeping line from the right shoulder across the figure to the left side is particularly graceful, and would assist in rounding off

the most trying angularies. The continuation of the line down the side of the skirt in the guise of an Inverted pleat is also good and practical, moreover, since it gives a flow of the hem without disturbing the smart slim appearance. The little turn-over collar is of fine embroidered lawn, an adjunct that is positively flying into favor again, frequently accompanied by little lingerie frills on the sleeves. Another notable detail is a capuchin cape, usually effected In some contrast to the coat or paletot it adorn*. Thus, a pale tan cloth, paletot had the hood lined ivory white, while a delicate hearthstone grey was allied with a coat of hyacinth blue.—London (Eng.) Madame.

SILK TAILOR-MADE

Of shot gold-and-brown striped taffeta* with plain brown charmeuse for r corselet, skirt band, and «l**ve*.

Smart Linen Dresses.

Some of the smartest linen dresses seen this season? show the side-front closing ornamented by a novel style of button, say* the Dry Goods Economist They are ornamented in the true sense of the word, inasmuch as the fastening is really made by hooks and eyes underneath. These crochet buttons are of large size, about an inch in diameter, and have crochet stems an inch long which allow the buttons to hang loosely on the dress. Large buttonholes are used with them and pftfliiy maka & trtmminr fflfttnrtr

JLi *»

Crossing Policeman is Like a Crusoe

CHICAGO.— “Who is the loneliest person in Chicago?” asked a traffic policeman the other day, an officer who sometimes looks at things from a novel standpoint. “It is not the crib tender, the bridge tender nor the night watchman. It Is not the elevated train operator In his secluded cage. It is not the scrubwoman who sweeps out the empty skyscraper between midnight and,sunrise. It is not the milkman nor the man who puts the town to bed. All of these are lonely, but none of them so lonely as the traffic ‘copper.’ - “This desolate Robinson Crusoe marooned in a sea of traffic with thousands brushing his 'elbows, with the hoarse cries of coal wagon drivers and the honk of automobile horns ever In his ears, holds the palm as"he loneliest man. Standing squarely in the heart of the city's uproar, his solitude Is deeper than that of the hermit or the aviator near the altitude mark.” “I could stand this job better,” continued the chaos dissipator at one of the busy downtown intersections several days ago, waving back a taxi with

Negress Lost Her Chinese Bridegroom

Vancouver, wash.— a comic tragedy In which a Chinaman of Portland and a young negro woman, attired in an old rose colored suit, topped off with a red hat, were actors was staged on the lawn of the county courthouse, with the employes of the building and callers _a* the audience, when a vain attempt was made to obtain a marriage license. The super was another negro, at least six feet tall, who was to have been the witness had the iChlnajnan not fled from behind an evergreen tree, where he was left by the young woman in old rose.

The Chinaman, about forty years old and well dressed, wearing np Queue, but American clothes, appeared at the courthouse at an early hour, accompanied by the young negress, who he said was twenty-four years old. She was togged out for the happy occasion with a huge bow of black ribbon to hold the front edges of the coat together, an immense red hat and a tremendous smile upon her face. Finding the auditor’s office all right, the Chinaman asked hl* all-important question, "Catchem license?” He was told that a witness was necessary before the paper would be issued. Turn-

Golden Wedding is Copy of Original

INDIANAPOLIS, IND.—With tfib same menu that was spread before them fifty year* ago, and with several of the same persons as guests who were present at their first wedding supper, Mr. and Mr*. Levi C. Bowser the other evening observed the fiftieth anniversary of their marriage by serving a wedding supper to their children and a few friends. When Miss Caroline Dawson became the bride of Levi C. Bowser on March 6, 1862, the event was followed by a bounteous supper at the country home of the bride’s father, John M. Dawson, then one of the prominent farmer* of Marion county. Turkey was the piece de resistance of the happy feast, and turkey was served to the wedding guest* again. The guests who witnessed the wedding fifty years ago and were pres-

Smugglers Tried to Beat Uncle Sam

MEW ORLEANS.—One of the “odd--11 est" cases that have puzzled the local customs department happened a few days ago, and, ad in the great percentage of cases, the land agents of Unde Sam guessed right and saved the old gentleman a few dollars in addition to knowing that they had saved him from being “bunkoed.” Under the parcels post and the customs regulations, provision is made for a certain class of “samples” which mky be sent into this country. Although strict restrictions are drawn, there are many foreigners who try every year to use this little loophole as one through which to send goods without paying duty. Knowing this, AB “samples* ’are subjected to dose i - aSCTUtIDy Dy KO oxCDIo* It seems that a gentleman in Asia. Minor, in the City of Smyrna, sought inrormauon irom menus in New vrleans with whom he desired to do a small business, learned of the loophole, and the idea he could ovet'^ejsharwed|

one hand and drawing forward a tiny girl In a polo coat with the other, “Hilt wasn’t so lonesome. 1 used to gett so tired standing on my'feet all day. that I didn't notice ft at first, but lately that thought has been coming to me more and more. Why, sometimes I get so lonesome that I say* ‘Hello’ to some wagon driver, and that’s a dangerous thing to do. One morning while I was standing here and thinking what a terrible thing it Is to be all alone In the world along comes a big wagon with a red headed fellow sittin’ on the seat that looked like one T used to know, and I yell* out ‘Hello, Bank!* and the guy was so surprised he nearly fell off his seat. ‘“Hello yourself, you big stiff!’ he says. 'Don't try to kid me. Tm wise to you. I’mdrivln’ this team right and you can just let me alone.’ , ‘‘After that there was nothin’ ® could do but pinch him —had to use my club some, too. That’s just on» Instance. Oh, of course, I talk at a lot of people and they talk at me, but what’s the good of that? They’re none of them talkin’ to me. You’re the first one I’ve/had a real conversation with on the job for about a month, I guess.” . “They get like that,” said a man: who knows aJJ about traffic policemen and others, too. "I’ve seen them get so lonesome on that loop job that they ask to be shifted.”

ing to his partner, he said: *1 know nobody; you catchem witness—me wait. You go downtown—catchem witness, come back, we get mallled." Taking the native of the Orient to the front of the yard, the negro lassie hid him behind a tree, and admonishing him to remain under cover, she stalked down the street, th* plume* in her hat fluttering in the breeze. , Witnesses must have been hard to find, for it was fully three hours before she returned with a tall man of her own race, who was wining to swear that he knew both persons who were desirous of being married. GoIng stealthily toward the tree, she peered behind it, but the celestial was not there. He had become tired and had lost faith in the negress, and said to the sheriff as he started down the street: "She no catchem witness, me catchem ferry—go home. I guess she no come back. Me go home.”

ent on this occasion were Capt Byron Dawson, retired army officer; ham. There were about fifty person* at the original wedding, but these are the only ones now living in Marlon county. ' Mr. and Mrs. Bowser have lived for more than forty of the fifty years of their married life In their present home. In many respects theirs has been an ideal romance. Mr. Bowser’s father also was a pioneer farmer of the county, and owned a farm adjoining the Dawson farm, about three mile* south of Indianapolis. A* playtheir youth and husband and wife in later years hardly a day of their live* has passed but what they have seen each other. For many years Mr. Bowser conducted a grocery at South street and Virginia avenue and later at Fletcher avenue and Shelby street, but retired from business several years agm " Mr. Bowser is seventy-four years old and Mrs. Bowser is sixty-eight. He is in excellent health, but Mrs. DnrnanF Xaa Koaw nnnflna/1 t Aka* Dowser uas Deen coiiiiueu w uer uuair from rheumatism for several year*. - —'-'Si --- - "- . •

of choice morocco leather, to hl* friends here. Of course, they were “samples.” The agents looked at them carefully, saw the fine workmanship and valued them accordingly. Then they calmly put the slipper* on a shelf and waited—end smiled. And In three weeks there came a. second package of "samples" to the same party. Tney puuea Dunam one monk the shetf, and found that the two bur*