Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 66, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 March 1912 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The spring styles in. women's garments are not a bit reactionary. The United States possesses 1,750,000 guinea fowls, all in good voice and training. The only effective way to make a building fireproof Is to build it at the bottom of the sea. Then there Is also the joker In tho box office who sells you “good” seats behind a pillar. Is ho not a great humorist? ' The Krupp works are about to turn out the largest gun ever made. When ■not In use it can be used as a nest for the dove of peace. A government official tells us that the average life of a dollar bill is 14 months. We had been led to suspect that it was 14 minutes. An Ecuadoran mob has stormed a jail and lynched five generals. We understand that Ecuador has a large supply of generals left Although the weather bureau makes occasional mistakes, in announcing that January was a record breaker It seems to have the goods. Aviators are still breaking records. But they are also breaking necks almost as rapidly, which somewhat offsets the gains to science. A statistician tells us that a family can live comfortably In New York on. SIO,OOO a year, but what about the round trip ticket to Reno? A diamond trust is the latest evil that stares us in the faoe. When will these trust magnates cease from controlling the necessities of life? J The duke of Connaught scarcely recognized the town that he visited 44 years before. New York does change some in that period of time. A New York theater Is experimenting with a wordless play. There is no reason why a. wordless play should Hot succeeed as well as a plotless one. The latest freak to break into print is a father of 15 with a soul mate. It behooves one of the sons to take father by the ear and lead him to the woodshed. Speaking of dancing, the shah of Persia Is < particularly Interested in the grizzly bear, and the king of Italy is studying the Intricacies of the turkey trot 1 Two Minneapolis men are playing Checkers by wireless telegraphy. No wonder there Is a movement afoot to put these amateur wireless outfits out of business. ' r " >• ■"• r" ■ A Chicago girl has started a $50,000 breach of promise suit because her swain has asked her fifty times to marry him. And then they say that talk is cheap. TTkc.young man who. had the word •obey” inserted in bls part of the marriage ceremony evidently has been convinced of the ultimate triumph of woman suffrage. that he knows fifteen lawyers who are In jail, but he falls to tell us how many he knows who have escaped their just deserts.

The emperor of China has been given an indefinite vacation, and there are a great many boys of his age in thia country who would be only too glad to take the job. San Francisco citizen has been fined for trying to steal the gong off a patrol wagon. In time it may be necessary to take steps to prevent jails from The poultry dealer who put lead linkers in his dead turkeys to make them weigh more should have his name put ‘high up on the list of the world’s meanest men. War correspondents may have their troubles with foreign names, but Washington correspondents have to contend with Constantine N. Papaml-z-huplonoulos. the Grecian minister. The scientist who claims that not one boy in a thousand is fundamentally bad probably would change his if he chanced to pass a crowd of thealtby youngsters in good snowballing weather. - An alleged Washington scientist asi*erts that he can teach hens to talk. But he does not show that talking will increase the egg product, which at ■this season of the year is the pivotal jssne of the hen industry. ~ — —■ ■■ 11l I Connecticut man who has been marided 77 years has compiled ten commandments for married folk. Having been at the receiving end of the com mandment game for 77 years he is entitled to do a little commanding on ibis own hook. f*Tou can’t plow corn with a Greek Jroot and a Latin verb won’t bake good light bread," declares a Missouri educator, but a Radcliffe graduate deMnred the other day that with a college education a woman can wash