Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 56, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 March 1912 — GOT THERE AT LAST [ARTICLE]

GOT THERE AT LAST

STORY OF THE SHIPWRECK AS TOLD BY A WOMAN. There Was a Joke In It but It Took Her a Long Time to Reach the , Point, According to Tale Related by 8. E. Kiser. A story that S. E. Kiser told at the recent banquet given by the Chicago Association of Commerce for the sons of members follows: % 'M:~- --- -- “I told you about the difficulty of getting a woman to see the point of a joke. Now, there Is another kind of woman. She is the woman t?ho starts to tell you a joke and has difficulty in reaching the point of it. , “One of the loveliest little women, that I ever knew had this trouble. She had once been unfortunate enough to be in a shipwreck. The vessel on which she was a passenger had been driven upon some rocks and was rapidly pounding to pieces when the lifesavers succeeded in shooting a line, over the upper works of the boat, thereby rescuing the passengers one at a time by means of the breeches buoy. There was a little incident connected with the woman’s trip from the ship to the shore which she told, in about this way: “‘O, Jt was the most awful experience I ever had in all my life. Ido hope nothing of the kind will ever happen to me again, but do you know when I was about half way between the ship and the shore swinging on that iittle bit of line and expecting every minute was going to be my last, the funniest thought suddenly popped Into my mind just when I was there half way between the ship and tho shore, and O! how those waves dashed and roared beneath me as I 1 swung there Just as if they were going to tear me into pieces in a minute. My, it waß awful! But as I say, I was there half way between the ship and the shore when this funny thing came to my mind of all the places in the world. I can’t Imagine why It came to me there. You know my husband always treats me like a mere child, he doesn’t let me handle the money and wouldn’t even allow me to go around and buy a piece of steak, but just as I was there about half way, as I say, this funny thought struck me—-and my, it was dark, awful dark! I “ *Well, as I was there, I say, swinging on this little bit of rope about half way between the ship and the shore, and suddenly this funny thought came to my mind. Now, the captain, I thought, Was a coward minute we got on the rocks, because he gave up, but the mate was one of the bravest men I ever saw in my life. But there I was half way between the ship and the shore and with nothing but that little bit of rope between me and death, expecting every minute to he the last minute of my life, and suddenly this funny thought sprang Jnto my head and I was thinking also that my children would have a stepmother inside of a year If I was drowned, and, O, how It thundered and lightened, and my, how wet I was, I never was so wet In my life. I sometimes think it runs In our family, because I had a cousin drowned at sea. Well, as I say, there I was, about half way between the ship and the shore, swinging there, and suddenly the thought popped right Into my mind just as suddenly as if some one bad spoken it to me right'ont loud —suddenly the thought popped Into my head there, •Well, I had the breeches on for once anyhow.' ”