Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 February 1912 — THRE IS NO PLACE LIKE IT [ARTICLE]

THRE IS NO PLACE LIKE IT

■ W V ■ “Home!”; said Mr*- -Lummy. “Home at last!” She opened one of the long-closed rhutters and made a careful examination of the house to her right, S “The Blumers have a new pair of curtains in their upstairs ball; they have had the -floor of their piazza painted and another brick has fallen off their chimney.” ? £. . “Poor devils-!” said Mr. Lummy from behind his coat of tan, “they couldn’t go away.” ' Mrs. Lummy opened another shutter and made a careful examination of the house to her left. “Hum!” she said. - “Well?” said Mr. Lummy, with impatience. . “Somebody has bought a new lawnmower!” she exclaimed, with scraping sarcasm. “Well, well!” said Mr. Lummy bitterly. “And a new garden hose.” “Somebody,” said Mr. Lummy more bitter than before, “is getting quite gay in their old age.” Mrs. Lummy closed the shutter with an emphasis of marked displeasure and, sitting down with a good comfortable bounce, she opened her mouth and yawned to a frightful extent. “O-o-o-o-o!” she yawned, making the exclamation a staccato one by clapping her hand on and off her mouth with every evidence of enjoyment, “but it’s good to be home!” “Yes,” said Mr. Lummy fretfully, “but you needn’t yawn so blessed much!” “William Lummy!” she cried with spirit, “I’ll give you to understand that I shall yawn all I please in my own house. Why, ihere have been times this summer waen I have nearly died because I couldn't yawn when I felt it. O-o-o-o-o!” she yawned again, closing her eyes and using her right hand, and “O-o-o-o!” she repeated using her left hand. She opened her eyes,to see how he was taking it and cried at once: “William Lummy!” “Well?” growled that gentleman. “Here I am.” She merely looked ajt him, all eyes and indignation. “Well?” he asked again, raising his voice a few notes. “What is it?" “You know right well what it is!” she cried. ” , “No worse than your yawning!” be cried back. “William Lummy, you take your foot off that chair this instant! This instant!” “Well, then, you stop yawning!” • “I shall yawn all I want to!” “All right; then I shall put my foot on the chair all I want to.” “No, you wont!” “Yes, I shall!” “No, you won’t!” “Yes, I shall!” “No, you won’t!” “Yes, I shall!” , And with an impudent look Mr. Lummy threw his other foot upon a chair and gazed at his wife in suck a tantalizing way that she arose to her feet, her back comb trembling with indignation and enjoying herself immensely. “William Lummy!” said she, “for the last time! You will either take your feet put of those chairs or else you will take the consequences!” And her eyes flashed so that, the back of William's neck .cease 1 to ex-, ert a pressure against his collar and he faintly grumbled: “Well, if you’ll stop yawning——” '“I shall stop yawning, or I shall not stop yawning, just as I please, but if you ” Sowly and reluctantly Mr. Lummy’s feet came out of their respective chairs. “There!” cried Mrs. Lummy, beaming. ‘Now I’ll make you a lemon pie for dinner!” She leaned Ovor, embraced him fondly and with the light of victory still in her eyes she paused in the door on her way to the kitchen and turned around, seying: “Isn’t it good to be home again!” —New York Sun.