Evening Republican, Volume 16, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 February 1912 — FISH COULD READ [ARTICLE]

FISH COULD READ

Tale Told by Friend of Publicity Promoter. — ; ■ --T - ’.-J . Sturgeon Didn't Mind Being Swimming Billboard, but Balked at Advertising Good Fishing at Summer Resort.

New York. —“I am well acquainted with a man who ran a summer hotel on the banks of a stream about' an aeronaut’s fly from the city,” said the man who writes the vacation guidebook of a certain railroad and who is noted for his chivalry in assisting truth to rise after she has been crushed to earth. “Along early in the summer._ thia gentleman was attracted by a large 'sturgeon which breakfasted every moning on the refuse which floated away from the hostelry. Noting the ample proportions *of this fish, my friend was struck with a certain idea, which he proceeded to enlarge upon. He saw to it personally that a dainty morsel was set out for the big sturgeon every day. Naturally, the large fish had friendly feelings toward the vicinity where he obtained his largess every day, and it was but' a short while before mine host was almost on speaking terms with the sturgeon. It was Just a step further then to go out in a boat and pace the sturgeon over a course of about a mile, all the while keeping him near the surface of the river. At the end of each workout the big sturgeon was rewarded by something to eat ‘The next step in the process of education was to rig up a large sign setting forth the. virtue of my friend’s summer retreat."’ This was attached to a light but stout framework made to fit the back of the sturgeon. Obviously, the big fish, being so well found by the hotel proprietor, was not averse to taking a few turns up and down the river, the sign showing up in great shape above oT the water, no portion of its propelling power being visible. "Ffrst along the sign read: ‘Mummer’s Summer Retreat —Fine Cuisine, Boating, and Bathing.* But my grasping friend was not satisfied with this. “One day in early summer I chanced to drop into the workshop of the hotel and found a painter fixing up a new sign reading as follows: ‘Mummer’s Summer Retreat —Fine Cuisine, Boating, Bathing and Fishing.'

“Immediately, if not sooner than this sign was moored on to the big fish, startling results followed. His nibs commenced to sulk on the job. Instead of taking the beaten path up and down the shore, in plain view of the passing trains, the sturgeon sulked over to one side, found a secluded spot among the bushes and stayed there until dark. This went on for several days.

“Again I chanced to stop at the hotel and my friend spoke to me about the strange sulkiness of his sturgeon publicity bureau. T can tell you what’s the matter,’ I said, right off the reel. ‘lt’s that amended sign calling attention to the fishing. Naturally a fish as intelligent as your sturgeon has shown himself to be is not going to be around any signs which invite the destruction of his brother fish- 1 admire him all the more for his sturdiness and fealty to his brethren. He sees his duty and is not found wanting.’ “The hotelkeeper saw the light which I set before him and the next day the old sign was hooked on to the sturgeon and he was back on the advertising job with all his old time strenuosity, continuing untiringly all summer. “Now, If I didn’t know about this incident personally and vouch for it myself, I wouldn’t blame you for doubting the remarkable intelligence of a fish that could distinguish the difference between a sign that meant harm to members of his tribe and one that did not advertise the fishing. IBut it’s jest as true as I stand here.” At this juncture the speaker walked away.