Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 291, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 December 1911 — The Manicure Lady [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Manicure Lady

"THBBB WAS TWO swell society ladies up to our house th* other night," utf the Manicure Lady. /'What society are they around preventing fort" asked the Head Barber. „ The Manicure Lady glared at the Head Barber for at least as long as It would take a good watch to tick •® times, aad then remarked frigMi/: "You are a awful bonebead. George. Somebody must hare came al<mg whoa you work a. little boy and told you that you was a humorist, and the thing must have took. You make me feel dark brown all over." "Go on and tell us about the soclety ladles, kiddo," coaxed the Head Barber. "I suppose some of my Josh MSB is a little coarse around the fringe, but I dca’t mean nothing. Toll mo about the dames. Was they dimpled debutantes, like the divorced mon marry, or dizzy dames, like the* married men divorce*" “They wae Just what 1 said,”, replied the Manicure Lady, not altogether mollified, but willing to keep up her monologue. "They have just came here from Chicago, and it seems that one of them knew mother when they al) went to boarding school Mother saw them the <Hher day and told them that Wilfred knew a lot of the magazine •Alters- Bt * didn’t te,) th ®“» how Wilfred knew the magazine editors, but they came up to the house Just the same, and we soon found out the reason why. One of the society ladies had wrote a book of society verses, and she thought that maybe Wilfred could frame it so she could got them published. "Wilfred shined up to, her right away, of course, because he figured that being a society woman she must have some kind of a bank roll herself, and 1 could see that my darling brother was figuring to send her to a publisher that would be willing to kick in with a commission. He read some of her verses out loud, until the got up and went into the kitchen, and then he read a lot more to himself, and this is what he told the dame, George, as sure as I am sitting here waiting for " 'My dear madam,’ says Wilfred, who never had no chance before to act as a editor and who was enjoying it like a black bass enjoys a green frog, *my dear madam, your verse has that wonderful tilt for which the works of Gilbert and Dante is noted for,’ he nays. ‘I find, however, here and there, a slight lack of color, qy what we editors call tone. There is something of Byron in this ringing couplet, for Instance: "What makes a nation long for better things. Like plenty of new frocks and diamond rings?”- ’ " ‘My dear sir,’ says the literary lady, *1 did not come here to get your opinion as to the literary value of my book of verses. That is already established. What I wanted to know is this: Can you introduce me to a good publisher?* “Poor brother was some froze after this spiel, and ho sulked a little, but ho promised to take her down to a publisher next Tuesday, and you can bet, George, if the publisher accepts the book on any kind of a cash basis I am going to get back that tenspot that Wilfred maced me for last week. I wonder if that society lady is kind of balmy in the bean?" "I don’t know," replied the Head Barber. “They say most poets is.”