Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 274, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 November 1911 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

. Umbrellas have a way of finding ***ew owners these days. Chin* seems to be doing * thorough job of -awakening this time. This Is the season when the average janitor Is an ardent coal consermtionise New York Is to spend 130.000.000 on education next year. It needs every cent of It Neither electric currents nor one's neighbor's chickens should bo allowed to roam at large. Girls look as though they would Eave to grow a lot in order to fit their new tangled baggy overcoats. Meanwhile other shaky dams holding back water that might destroy towns should be braced up. An amateur has no business trying to fly. Let him hang bls hat on a hangar, but don't go near the aero. Edison Is under the Are of the Germans because he says they drink too ■ouch beer. He might Invent a substitute. New York's death rate has reached a new low mark. We congratulate that dty upon being such a poor place to die in. A burglar who coughed like a motocycle robbed a garage. What could ho do If he were trying to rob a roundhouse? Yea. ClarlbeL as you say. the duke of the Abrnsd must be a very domestic man, since he has been sweeping the seas. A Massachusetts woman has left her estate to the old maids of her town. How absurd! ' There are no old maids these days.

Prospects for the rice crop are good, but that does not especially interest the young woman jp»o is soon to become a bride. ■ ■*! i The New York man who Is trying to compel his wife to marry her affinity has evidently made a study of the refinements of cruelty. An 1804 dollar, lurking around Chicago, is said to be worth 8650. There are times when a dollar is worth more than that For 810.000 an Indianapolis man is pushing a wheelbarrow around the country from capital to capital. How does this assist the uplift? It was polite of Togo to give his gtft horse to the emperor Instead of to the elevator man. to whom so many American hand their gift cigars. The office boy's relatives will now regain their health for a few months, the frequent reports of their deaths having been grossly exaggerated. Your plain citizen will do little aviating across the country so long as the necessity remains for private trains in the immediate background.

New York courts have sent to the penitentiary a farmer who recorded a horse race bet It is better {or the amateurs to leave these affairs to the professionals. Those Harvard astronomers ‘who have discovered a new comet should have waited for a more opportune moment There is too much real news tn the papers these days Brooks* comet is now moving away •from the earth. It can still be seen by the naked eye in rear elevation. It ihas a fuzzy tall and looks tike a twocent star that has got smudged. Earle Ovington Is going to try to carry mail by aeroplane from the Atlantic to the Pacific coast It is hoped that he will assume no needless risks by reading post-cards on the way. It Is reported that women are going to wear smaller hats this winter. The Imilliners must have discovered that some of the women had big hats that twere as good as new left over from last winter " • . The hoopskirt has appeared in Paris, and the "first one seen on the streets created quite as much of a sensation as the first bobble skirt, and doubtless will be quite as strongly denounced. It has been so long gone that not even the memory of the good old times can save it In fact, if ft is Imported as a fashion, it will be so new as probably to receive more reprobative attention than even election frauds. When a sculptor says that a Boston statue of Psyche needs more clothes he does not reflect upon the decorative value of the Psyche knot. He merely calls attention to tta inadequacy * As the bath tub is the great symbol of civilization, and as those nations who make the most use of it are the most progressive, it is gratifying to note that the mission fndlan in southlifting influence of the bath tub; he to