Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 272, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 November 1911 — A FAIR EXCHANGE [ARTICLE]

A FAIR EXCHANGE

Farmer Ephraim Brown perched upon the rail fence of his horse pattore au< bewailed the two great sot* row* of his life. In the distance, plodding leisurely down the lane, attached to a rose held by Squire Jefferuon Ramsey, was » cow that gave unbelievable quantities 6f Ute richest creamiest milk. Brown longed and yearned for her ti t man longs and yearns but once’in life. - '' - The othei crowning sorrow of his ''life stood nearer, it was the sorrel filly he had bought the week before from Elder Hezekiah Tilford. She looked like a winner all through. But on each occasion as Farmer Brown had hitched her to a vehicle she had kicked the dashboard into the next magisterial district.

Squire Ramsey had the famous Jersey at the end of an extraordinarily long rope and he walked so carefully and skittishly that Farmer Brown wondered. “Mornin’, Ephraim,” saluted the owner of the cow. “Are you as plum set on my Jersey as you useter be?” Farmer Brown thoughtfully combed out hl» potriarchal whiskers. “Oh, I duuno,” he said, noncommittally. The Jersey cavorted around and Squire Ramsey cried out with unnecessary vigor. “Sough—sough there, I say!” As the cow quited he looked shamefacedly at his neighbor. “Betsey lowed as how we had too many cow critters,” he explained. “Thought you might want to swap somethin* or other.” ' Farmer Browh strove to conceal his wild joy. He spat leisurely at the grazing sorrel and plaited' his sheiklike beard'. “I got a might good hose there,” he observed. . 1 Squire Ramsey proceeded to «x----amine the grazing sorrel. As he passed behind the animal Farmer Brown, cried out. “Stop, you ding; dumbed fool! Don’t go back there! 7 ’ Then as the squire showed his surprise Farmer Brown made a diversion. "Let's have a look at the Jersey.” He began to pat and poke the sleek cow; the cow fidgeted about and Squire Ramsey went suddenly white. “Jumpin' jackrabbits!” he cried. “Let that cow alone! Sough, Dolly, sough now —sough!” ■ ' . " '' ■

With both owners somewhat suspicious, yet eager, the trade was quickly consummated and Parmer Brown, suddenly generous and with a twinkle in hjs eye, offered the loan of a buckboard. “I’ll let you hitch her up, squire,” he said, "but you’d better sit in the back end, ’cause that’s the kickingest boss in Jasper count#’* “All right Ephrtam,” retorted Squire Ramsey, with a grin, “and you’d better handle that ’ere Jersey with mitts, ’cause she’s done swallowed six sticks of dynamite.” “Great worm-eaten hoss collars!” cried Farmer Brown. The squire, still grinnidg, clamborfed into the buckboard. Instantly the sorrel mare released her hind feet as if shot from a catapult* hurling the dashboard into the clover field. The sorrel began to back and ■plunge about. “Rustling fodder stacks!” cried the squire in terror. “Keep that volcano of a horse away from that cow.” He was too l«te. With a final triumphant effort, the sorrel plumped her hind feet into the fat sides of the blue ribbon wonder. There was a roar, a »puff and a soft thud and splatter. Farmer Brown, hurled backward against Squire Ramsey, looked tq vain for his newfound cow. Half a mile uown the lane the wonderful kicking sorrel sped madly, the ruins of the buckboard strewn along the line of flight. ". z \ ■ <