Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 261, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 November 1911 — Page 3

OUR NOBILITY.

An Arizona man who wu In Chicago recently for the purpose of buying "■•▼ oral thousand dollars* worth of ' things that he needed In his business Was entertained at one of the country chibs. " “Now,** said his host before they pent into dinner, “I wish you would do the club the honor of registering. ' |We like to have the signatunes of all prominent men who come here.** The Arizona gentleman looked at the register for the purpose of die covering what other prominent citizens had written their names tbere. and up near the top of the page be noticed the name of Benjamin Hooper 1L A little below that was the name of Addison Bosworth 111. Evidently Mr. Bosworth had been followed by a humorist, for under his name was written John Smith XIV. "Well,” said the Arizonian, "these chaps ain't got nothin’ on me, 1 * guess.” So he wrote: "Hank Wattles I."

An Average.

A western representative in congress was talking one day of his record while In that body. *Tm not ashamed of It,” said he. T think I*ve done very well, on the whole. When I reflect upon it, 1 am reminded of an epitaph that I saw once In an old burying-ground in a country town of 1 my state. • "This epitaph devoted a verse of four lines to the virtues of the good man who lay beneath the stone, and concluded with this line in prose; “ ‘He averaged well for this vicinity.’ ” —Lippincott’s.

His Only Fear.

"What ye taking 'fer your cold, Hiram?" , “Rock and rye.” " “Don't your wife object to the use of likker?" “Not for medicinal purposes.” “Well. Is It going to cure your •old?” 7 “Yes; Fm afeerd It’s going to cure It too darn quick.”

Not the Same Thing.

"Now, Harold.” said the teacher, “if there were eleven sheep in a field and six jumped the fence, how many would there be left?” "None,” replied Harold. "Why, there would,” said she. “No, ma’am, there wouldn’t,” persisted he. “You know arithmetic, but you don’t know sheep.’’—Everybody's Magaijne.

PROOF.

Hamlet De Fake—ls there’s any truth In the Bible, the people of that town are thoroughly bad. The Heavy Man—What haa the Bible to do with It? Hamlet De Fake —It says, ”By their fruits ye shall know them,” and 1 merely judge by the hen fruit they presented to me on my last appearance there.

Beach Gossip.

What are the wild waves saying? Maybe that 1 can’t afford The thirty a week 1 am paying For board.

Early Award.

“Do you think there is anything creditable In tlutt man Sklnnumfc past?” ' “Well,” replied the discreet man, “I understand that somewhere among his effects he has a mug with the sentence ‘For a Good Boy’ printed on it in .gilt letters But, of course, 1 have no way of knowing how he came by It”

A Coward.

“That scientist le a coward” “How sor “He made the statement that woman’s foot was growing larger, end when 1 challenged him to name the woman ha refused." . ' * v-if* - %

Same Here.

.JXmVE* —Does the New England climate agree with you? ‘ Briggs—No, It doesn’t even agree With the weather predictions.

As .Far as He Knew.

“I say. MlUyuns, la your wife e blonder’ "She was when aha left home for the summer, and I haven’t seen anything to the contrary in the society P papers.*

Sign of It

“What make* you think be recently married" "He just got off a trite remark that women are peculiar."—Detroit Free

SMILES

“Aunt Rachel, you are to come and make us a long visit Inclosed find railway and sleeping car tickets" “Clugston, I’m going abroad, but you can keep on sending the Blifzard to my house. Here’s two years’ subscription In advance.” ' >V-s • “Mr. Hickey, we won your case with ease, and the retainer you gave us amply pays for our work." “You don’t need to apologize for stepping on my skirt sir; I ought to have known enough to hold it up while going down q stairway." "t/>wer berth in outside stateroom amidships? Yes. sir; you can have your choice of half a dozen.” , “Thin is your scarfpin. Isn’t it mis* ter? I fonnd It while I was dustin’ off the car seats.” “Wot are ye skeered of. stranger? 1 don’t want yer watch; I only asked ye. wot time it wuz ’cause 1 wanted fee know.”

The Sword Swallower—Why do you let that “Tattooing Artist” help you count up the house every night? The Manager—Oh! he’s good at figures.

“I don’t like the way you delivered your lines in the last act.” said the playwright “Perhaps you will show me how to delineate character?” replied the star, sarcastically. “No. I merely wish yon to pronounce a few of your vowels In such a way that the audience.will know what you are talking about”

LITTLE SURPRISES.

MUBEUM MUSES.

Thrust and Parry.

All She Could Say.

“I’ll love you when the stars are dead,” Said he. Whereat the flustered damsel said: “Qeer

Thera Was a Reason.

The army in Flanders had begun to swear dreadfully. “We’ve got to do it to keep warm/* the soldiers explained. “The war de> partment doesn’t give us enoufh blank-lta!"

Well Informed.

“Are your neighbors gossipy?* asked Billings. "Some of them must be." answered Sittings, “judging by the amount of In* formation about them that my wife reports to die." ~

Their Chance.

“I wonder when the families of fashionable women ever get a chance to see them?" j “Why, don’t they occasionally have ‘at homes.' ” » ,

Ominous.

“Bridget. 1 feel so 111 I wish, you would not go out today. Couldn’t you get what you are going for just as well tomorrow?” "Faith, an’ l can-—tomorrow or anny day. I was goln’ out to get mesllf a new Job." —Harper’s Bazar.

STRANDED.

Knight Stands—Did your play have a long ran? :■ ' Stormlngton Barnes—No; but the company had a long walk.

Annoying.

Tls very sweet to sing of lovs. But whst’s ths use of that * When one can't see his turtle dove For eo much picture hat?

Aroused.

The young woman In the stern ot the boat bad whispered softly, the word “Yes” “But stay right where you are. Jack,*' she added hastily; “ti you try to kiss me you'll upset the boat." "How do you know?" hoarsely demanded Jack, a horrible suspicion ah ready taking possession of him.-*

CANADA AND HOW IT IS GOVERNED

THE situation in Canadian politics to which the reciprocity treaty gave rise has been for some time engaging worldwide attention. In a half century, almost unnoticed. Canada turn attained a startling growth. It seems only a few years ago that, amid dissension and rebellion, she was struggling for confederation and responsible government. The patriotic fight of the great William Lyon Mackenzie is almost qui> rent history and a great many of those who remember the British North American act of 1867 —the act which gave Canada a federal government—are still hale and. hearty citizens of Britain’s richest colony. The first premier of the great Dominion, Sir John A. Macdonald, is scarcely a figure of the past. He was active in the political life of his country until 20 years ago. The sound of his voice is still fresh In the minds of Canada’s most prominent, presentday statesmen. The rapid rise of the Dominion .of Canada, from a few scattered settlements to & country of wealth and population, has been remarkable. While the twfo great peoples of the American continent, those of the United States and Canada, have waxed strong, under/ the influence of a progressive policy which is peculiar to this hemisphere they have done so along widely diverging lines. The governmental systems of both countries, which at first glance may seem alike and which are founded upon the principle of popular representation, are vastly . different. ' The civic affairs of the United States rest upon three distinct divisions of government, the executive, the legislative and the judicial, while the Canadians, profiting by the deficiencies as well as the good points of thd American constitution, drafted a government of party responsibility In which the three great divisions of their neighbor's civic structure were welded into one. The Canadian political method Is the newest development of con-* Btltutional government and Its origin and success form one of the most interesting chapters of recent history. \ The keynote of the Canadian theory of government is party responsibility. All ctiidc branches are responsible to the party in power and the party in power Is directly responsible to the people. While formally the legislature consists of two bodies — the house of commons and the senate —the country is practically governed by bne assembly, the house at commons, for the senate is a negligible quantity in the practical civic operations of Canada. The governor general, who formally presides over all and who is the representative of the king, theoretically appoints the premier, but, in reality, he always chooses the man whom the parliamentary situation requires. The prfemier must be a member of the house and must be elected to his seat from a regular riding or constituency. In him are united the offices of speaker of the house and majority leader. The members oftbe cabinet must also be members of the commons and they are elected to parliament by the pepple of their own riding. The Canadian ministry consists of the premier and his cabinet and this combination Is popularly known as "the government/’ When a Party Loses. When the Canadian party In power loses its majority In the house, through a split In Its ranks over some political question or through loss of popular confidence at an election, the opposition goes Into power and its official leader Immediately and automatically becomes premier, the governor general always calling on him to, form a new government If the Ciuaadlan system prevailed ih the United States President Taft and the members of his cabinet would have to be members of the bouse of representatives. The Dominion of Canada is governed always by the party in power and the executive and legislative, powers of his party are recognized by the people. For every act or proposal “the government” or party In power is directly responsible to the houee of commons .and to the Canadian people and If, In any of Its acts or proposals It falls to meet with the approval of thp house, or the people. It steps down from pbwer and the opposition takes control as a party. It Is because of this policy that the liberal party went to the people with the reciprocity Issue. 1A the beginning of Canada’s po-

PARLIAMENT BUILDINGS AT OTTANWK

litical life, just previous to the war of 1812, the country was governed under the constitutional act by two distinct councils—executive and legislative. They were Independent of each other and through abuse of privilege began to think themselves independent of the people. The pioneer settlers, whose only thought was for the clearing and taming of the wilderness, cared little for politics. Theirs was a fight against the primal and the wild and they thought of the government only as a help to them in their mighty efforts.

The men in whose hands rested the responsibility of' wielding civic power abused their trust. They gave valuable lands to political friends and spent money corruptly that was intended for the settlers who needed aid. These abuses brought abodt dissatisfaction and distrust and the pioneers began a fight for a better and more competent form of government, a fight which ended ye&rs later in bloodshed and rebellion but which finally obtained for the Canadian people the almost perfect constitution of which they boast today. For years the prejudice existing between the French and English was an obstacle to the great struggle against privilege and injustice. Canada in those days was divided into two provinces, known as Upper and Lower Canada, and while Mackenzie Was fighting for justice in Upper Canada, M. Papineau, was struggling with the corrupt powers of Lower Canada. The latter was defeated in his peaceful fight and, fired by all the passions that liberty inspires, he resorted to rebellion. Thus by means of bloodshed he succeeded in obtaining the suspension of the constitution or Lower Canada. The rebellion spread to Upper Canada, where Mackenzie took up the fight, and although he was defeated and exiled the principles for which he fought won out in the end and the act of Union of I|4o gave Canada its first united and responsible government. The provisions of the act of union were by no means complete and factions and dissatisfactions were the result until 1867 when the North American act gave to the land of the maple leaf a government under which it has grown and prospered.

. Provisional Legislatures. The provisional legislatures of the Dominion of Canada correspond in a great many ways with the state governments of the United States. In every way they resemble the Dominion parliament, having, with the exception of Ontario, a house of commons and a senate. The lieutenant governor of the province stands in the same relation to the provisional legislature as the governor general of the Domidion to the Dominion parliament The premier oi the province is supreme in the provincial parliament, just as the premier of the Dominion is all over. Independent and supreme in its own Dominion the Canadlih parliament,* always loyal to the British crown, stands a separate and distinct body, in no way subservient to the Imperial parliament of England. It has the power of making its own treaties with foreign countries and since the establishment of the Supreme Court of Appeal, in 1875, the Canadian parliament has been practically Independent of the British Privy council. Legislative acts regarding Canada are never passed by the imperial parliament unless they are stamped with the approval of the house of commons at Ottawa

From the days of the northwest rebellion to the recent clash over the reciprocity treaty the Canadian ship of state has weathered some rough seas. Among the many events that stirred parliament to its depths the Manitoba school' question stands out prominently. The credit of its settlement rests w}th Canada’s foremost citlsen, Sir Wilfrid Laurier. Limitations of space prevent the mention of all the storms that roughened the waters of Canada’s political sea, but most important among the many were the Bering sea fishery dispute, the Alaskan boundary question, the Atlantic fisheries question and. most prominent among recent storms, the Canadian naval bill For the last 15 years the Canadian parliament has been remarkable because of its wonderful chief, Btr Wilfrid Laurier. He has grown old in the battle of Canadian betterment and the great deeds of a true life have touched his locks with whiteness.

VERSE WORTH READING.

The Well Ordered Day.! How shall the day be ordered? To the sage The young man spoke. And this was his reply: --v y A morning prayer. A moment with thy God who sends the dawn - Up from the east; to thank Him for the care .That 'kept Uiee through the night; to give thy soul. With faith serene, to His complete control; To ask His guidance still along the way. So starts the day. • A busy day. Do with a will the task that lies before So much there is for every man to do, And soon the night when man can work no more. And none but he to life’s behest is true Who work- with seal and pauses only v when * He stretche* forth his hand to help the men Who fall or fall beside him on the way, So runs thfe day. A merry evening, When toll is done, then banished be the care That frets the soul. With loved ones by r . the hearth The evening hour belongs to joy and mirth; To lighter things that make life fresh and fair For honest work has earned its hour of play. - So ends the day. —John Clair Minot In the Independent.

Consider the Grouch.

He wears no simulated smile At every time and place. Sometimes you see for half a mile The frown upon his face. He Isn’t much on shaking hands. His manner’s sharp and short; In fact, he scarcely understands The way to be a sport —lg S—- ——— very seldom buys a drink Or blows the bunch.for smokes; He seems to want to spend his chink Upon his wife and folks; The merry grafters call him close, The lushers say he’s tight; They dub him grouchy, sour, morose. And doubtless they are right. But when you’re broke and need a friend, Why, he’s right there, you bet; He’ll stick right with you to the end. Through trouble, woe and debt. He’ll swear at you most heartily (But stake you when you’re flat): It’s pretty good. It seems to me. To have a friend like that. He loves his children and his wife, And though his face Is grim. And though he doesn’t grfri through lifeHls friends all swear by him; His workers love his very frown. And for his goodgess vouch; And—well, I’ll let you put me down As one who loves the grouch. -Puck.

The End of the World.

When the last big hat has been purchased, and the plumes are broken and bent, When the hobble skirt has beeh banished, and no one cares where It went, Wo shall rest, and faith we shall need it —and quit for an aeon or two - Denouncing each fashion verdict, and , condemning each thing that's new. There will be no word from Paris of fashions of freakish mould; "They’ll be the rage in the springtime," will never again be told; And the hair can be dressed as one wills it, provided it’s all one’s own, And no puffs and curls at the playhouse shall make at \p patron groan. And the men will have naught to worry, for the tailors will show one style That will satisfy all forever, and will make no crimp in one’s “pile;” And all who wear duds shall be happy, and say: “This is grand, I declare— I can wear my last year’s garments With a perfectly cheerful air.”

A Vanished Hero.

Not Understood.

Not understood. We move along asunder; , Our paths grow wide# as the seasons • prwp "<r" Along the years; we marvel and we won- ■. •( Why life la life, and then we fail i” asleep— Not understood. Not understood. We gather false impressions And hug them closer as the year* go by, Till virtues often seem to us transgression a; And thus men rise and fall and live and die— Not understood. Not understood. Poor souls with stunted vision Oft measure giants by the narrow ; ‘i gauge. , The poisoned shafts of falsehood and derision Ate oft Impelled ’gainst those who mold the age— Not understood. —Unknow*.

A Pretty Positivist.

She’s very, very obstinate. And if against {her will She Is convinced she always holds The same opinions still. She always has her own Ideas, And though she is polite. . If you and she do not agree. She always knows she’s right. She's so extremely positive That, taking any view Or anything, no matter what. She sticks to tt like glue. It really Is impossible To change her mind, you sea. And, oh. | hope ehe never will. Because—she fun rise me.

NUGGETS OF WISDOM.

Do {he best you know, that you may I The keynote of Christianity Is power, not words. -g> My strongest feeling in regard to death Is one of curiosity. Ydhfhiay not make a living, but you can make a life. I want a faith that will let me look at all points of the compass. ■ There are advantages in grdwing old. It settles many questions. Would you count your true friends? Fall into misfortune—Napoleon. In all your work watch some master workman; it is a great help and incentive. Teach your children to create. Don’t always give them finished products to enjoy. After all, I would not be a brute, even to be happy; thanks that I was % man, even if it hurts. • What is your life? It is even a vapor. Steam Is a vapor, but, harnessed, it moves the world. The extraordinary rests on the ordinary, and presupposes it. He who is not ordinary cannot* be extraordinary. We are cups to quench God’s thirst, and God takes pleasure in a man-'" when he fulfills the purpose of his being. O these immature instincts and unsure purposes and voiceless longings! How many of them go into any piece of work that is worth the doing! The mountain is composed of atoms, and friendship of trifles.—Tupppr.

ALL TRUE

Pessimism is defective metabolism! A switch in time flags tho repine! J The fetters of failure often are made of straw! •A* A lot of fatuous froth on the berry brand of reform! The "abused" man always has astigmatism of the mental eye! The “perhaps” man rarely gets lute propinquity with prosperity!, - You can't expect the heart to sing when the rest of you is out of tune! It isn’t hard to discourage a man who’s always searching foe symptoms! We used to think it a disgrace to be broke—but that was before we- acquired the habit! The failure who whimpers that he , was “bom wrong*’ thereby furnishes Infallible evidence that he was! Self-preservation is the first law of natuxfe, but too many incompetents and inconsequent* ,»re working at it! It takes some of us a heap of years to find out that happiness is normal and that depression denotes disease! Some of our resolutions have about as much chance as a plaster-of-paris image on a wabbly pedestal!—Clarenoe L Cullen in the Chicago Journal.

Self-preservation la the first law Of \ff naturae, but too many incompetents and inconsequent* are working at H! It takes some of usa heap Of years i to find out that happiness is normal and that depression denotes disease! > ‘ • Some of our resolutions hare about - as much chance as a plaater-of-paria image on a wabbly pedestal!-—Clar-ence L. Cullen in the Chicago Journal. ' DIARY OF THE VILLAGE SAGE. “Too many cooks"—but there cant be too many eooks? A pretty face is the only argument some women have to offer. Anyway a vacation is a. change. *

DIARY OF THE SAGE.

“Too many cooks”—bat there cant be too many eooks? A pretty face is the only argument some women have to offer. Anyway a vacation is a. change, and also helps yon to get rid of it The man who la down and out dpesn’t have to worry about his descent. Sometimes the cream of society, after it is skimmed, isn’t as good as that which is left It frequently happens that a broad mind doesn’t go with the. same kind of should***The very best way to get rid of your neighbor’s hens—move pat of the nelghboifrood. ;Wr 1 — P '■> * "V, It doesn’t look so badly to see a man eat pie with a knife providing the pie is good pie, and his fork is undersised. '* \

WISE OR OTHERWISE

Maw seeds of kindness are scattered on barren soil. .: . , j Dignity is what some ppople stand on when they are short - - The one redeeming feature about a pawnshop is the tigket u ; v Dare a man to do a thing, , and if he's a fool he will attempt, it. \ ,