Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 250, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 October 1911 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

HEALEY A CLARK. Publisher*. RENSSELAER, INDIANA. Europe te unhappy as if It had Just lost the baseball pennant. Straw hats still Unger. but chiefly in the guise or next year's hens' nests. ■ -■• - In some ways an oyster is like an egg. You never can tell till you open As Is well known, a handsome woman can be attractive In almost any If hobble skirts are made any tighter, the wearers will not even be able to hobble. A man out west Is trying to regain a fortune by newspaper work. No wonder he lost it »—I- -■■■■ ■ ■ I The cost of dying has gone up S 3 1-3 per cent., and some feel that they cannot afford the expense, “Z Z Elijah may have been the first aviator. but there was no promoter there to collect the gate receipts. It Is hinted that the Mona Lisa was stolen by an artist He certainly was an artist at getting away with It We have reason to believe that the new “aaklevtew’ skirt will cause mere men to sit up and take notice. The corset may go. as fashion dictators say, but we may rest assured that something worse will be substituted. 'T Professor Brooks' comet is thus tar obscured by clouds, but the presumption is that it Is keeping its advertised date. Another unsuccessful attempt has been made to swim , the English channel. But why try to swim when it is so easy to fly across* There is a form of butter tn India called "ghee.** We will hazard the opinion that some of our own cold storage kind beats it Fruit pests are being killed by electricity in Spokane valley. The modern agriculturist earns bls bread by the hum of his motor. Hay fever may be a sign of brains, but a good many people are willing to forego the brains if. by doing so. they can get rid of the fever. . An expert tells us that birds spread disease. This probably will be seised upon by the ladles as a pretext to wear dead birds on their bats. A New York policeman who rescued a girl from drowing was rewarded with a kiss and a hug. Here is a suggestion for Andrew Carnegie. The trouble between Germany and England reminds us of a quarrel between two prominent pugilists. All the fighting is done in the newspapers. The census gives Nevada only sev-en-tenths of a man to the square mile. There are in Nevada a good many square miles that don't deserve even that much. Highwaymen, after robbing a Chicago man. took away all his clothing and left him shivering in the street. It may become necessary to have empty barrels left around at convenient places. A Chicago man is suing for divorce because his wife has been throwing things at him for nineteen years.. Probably he is tired of paying for having the dents taken out of the Celltng. These velours hats for men are lovely things. So are china eggs. A Boston girl, who proclaimed her right to choose a husband for herself, has received one hundred proposals of marriage. Declarations of independence are now in order. We are told that the yelling of a parrot tn New York saved twenty-five lives in a burning building. It’ also saved the feathers of the parrot, which was a question of far more concern to said parrot A man in Pennsylvania hanged himself because his crop of tobacco was too large to store in his barn. Hounded to death by too much prosperity, bo fell a victim to the Inconsistency of human wishes. Isn't ft about time to invoke the clause of the constitution prohibiting cruel and unusual forms of punishment? A New York-magistrate told the wife of a man brought before him on a serious charge to take him home and tell him what she thought of Thus far the air Is not darkened by aviators making transcontinental A fireman has beaten Weston's walking record from coast to coast, hut Weston still bolds the record for •O-yearold pedestrians with gray musWe are told that the summer has been too hot for oysters. We also ■"lmve reason to believe that some sections of it Were too hot for human be