Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 242, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 October 1911 — Signals of Husbands [ARTICLE]

Signals of Husbands

“I SEE,” SAID Mrs. Lysander John Appleton with a sniff so scornful it displaced her hat, “that my husband is fencing in a new field of reform. He wants to establish a school of universal signals. He wants the termer and the chauffeur to get together, and also a man and his wife to agree on. a wireless code to be used when there is company at the table. “I wish to go on record with this statement. If the signals a wife gave her husband were as plain as if printed on a sign board across his plate he couldn’t get them through his head. A woman has a hard jtime driving a hail through a board.ias all great wits agree, but did tljey ever think how much harder;it ltf for her to drive a hint through her husband's skull? “That husband of mine isn’t any more stupid than other men, but there isn’t any signal sent to him across the table that could be made so plain it would reach him. v “We had company recently. ‘That is F. H. B. cake,’ I said, passing it. Daysey Mayme and Ghauncey Devere took the signal and refused it, but Lysander John took slices! “ ‘What,’ asked a guest, ‘does F. H. B. stand for?’ “Before I could invent a name, such as French Home Baked, or Flemish Honeyed Bun, Lysander John piped ont, with his mouth filled with cake and reaching for a third slice: ‘lt means Family Hold Back. Whenever Mrs. A. puts F. 11. B. to anything, It means therfe isn’t any more in the house.’ “Now what DO you think of that? Isn’t that Just like a man? What is the good of a woman inventing signals when her husband steams right .past them? If I tack F. H. B. to tlte last in the house and pass it to guests, Lysander John invariably asks for more! “On another occasion we had so much company it was necessary to borrow spoons and the friends from whom we borrowed had such bad taste they had their children’s names engraved on them. ‘I didn’t know,’ said the guest, looking at his spoon, ‘that you have a daughter named Lillian.’ “ ‘We haven’t,’ said that cheerful Idiot who sits At the head of my table. ‘Daysey ajay me is eur only girl.’ ‘ ‘Or a son named Charles,’ ; said another guest. “Before Lysander John could reply I gave him a kick on the foot, and put my handkerchief- to my eyes. ‘They are children wfe have lost,’ I said, with a dry sob. “ ‘Why Miranda,' said my husband, ‘what’ “ ’Change the subject,’ I said to my guests,, ‘before I am overcome.’ “I gave Lysander John a look that made ice form on his tea, but he Just looked dazed at me and continued to mutter something about ‘only two; never had more than two.’ “I was so mortified I began crying io 6&rD^Bt “ ‘Their father,’ I said, ‘has forgotten. but a mother never forgets.’ “The guests looked reprof :hfully at my husband; he muttered something about ‘only two’ and slid out of his chair in a fit. “Yet that man who won’t take a signal when it is waved under his nose, kicked into his shins, and pinched into his legs, gets up and calls himself a public benefactor because he has a scheme for establishing a school for universal slgnalhood. “Isn’t that just like a stupid, blundering man?” #

CHICKEN PUREE A LA ROYALE —Single and clean a three pound fowl, place in a large ketUe, cover with three quarts of cold water, heat slowly and simmer for two hours and a half or until the fowl is very tender At the end of an hour and a half add two-thirds of a cupful of well washed rice and a bouquet made of one stalk of celery a sprig of thyme, two sprigs of parsley and a strip of onion When the fowl Is tender remove it from the broth and set the Tatter aside until cold, then remove the fat and the booquet. Remove the white meat of the fowl, free it from the skin and bone. In a mortar pound to a paste one-half of a cupful of blanched almonds, adding a spoonful or morq of cream to keep them from oiling; when smooth, add the rice drained from the broth and the prepared white meat and pound all to r pulp. Rub this pulp through a sieve adding a little of the broth to make it pass through with less difficulty, then season with salt and pepper. Hea< the broth, thicken It slightly with one fablespoonful of flour dissolved in cold water and season to taste. Five minutes before serving add the prepared puree, stirring until smooth. Take from the fire, add one cupful of hot cream and serve. A child of strict parents, whose greatest joy had hitherto been the weekly prayer meeting, was. tflkea by its nurse to the circus for tip Ural time, t When he caqpb home,* Je exclaimed: -' U . “Oh. mam tea." if you once #ent tc MKRCV