Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 240, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 October 1911 — Cause and Effect. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Cause and Effect.

The Earl of Ennui (dreamily)— Wlsht I just had er million, and 10 years ahead of me. Baron Beating-It—Well, you grab the million, and you’ll get the 10 years all .right, all right.—Puck. Shem—You’d better get ready for the flood, brother! Japhet—Did father say this was the day for the beginning of the raiq? “Do they have a good table?’ asks the prospective guest. “It is first rate/’ tnswered the man who has just returned. “Solid oak, with heavy legs an dia polished top.” Said He —I have employed an instructor in elocution to teach me how to talk. Said She —What you need is some one to teach you what to say. “How are you getting on at your country place these rainy days?” “Oh, we’re getting on swimmingly.”

Bhe—He proposed to hie wife over the long-distance telephone. He—Tea, and elnoe their marriage he eeeme to prefer to talk to her In the eame way. "Ho could show you some things about manners." "Bah —l believe he’s a crook!" "Anyhow, he doesn't eat with his knifei-" “He would If it was against the law." “It Is every woman's duty to keep young as long as possible." she said. “Yes," he admitted, “but the great trouble is that so many women Insist on keeping young after it If impossible." “In your advertisements you stated that you have no mosquitoes." "So I ain't. Them pesky critters you eee flyinr’ around here don’t belong to me .by hecfc!" Doßrolce—l needed a V badly this morning, so I borrowed fifty from Marks. HSgglne—Why so much? Daßroke—Well, ttVmucfe easier to And an excude for not returning fifty than a mere live.

THERE ARE OTHERS.