Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 191, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 August 1911 — Page 3

SMILES

Plying >lli Trade. A man who had been caught In a raid on a gambling house was arraigned. not long ago. before a magistrate. "What is your trade?” the magistrate asked. ■ : ~ r '~ ; " “I am a locksmith, sir.” "And what were you doing In the gambling den?" pursued the magistrate. “What were you doing when the police entered?" Hie locksmith looked Into the magistrate's face with an expression of enblime innocence. , ; , r "Why, your honor,” he answered. “1 was making a bolt for tbedoor.”

OUT IN THE COLD.

Weary Willfe—'An* kicking me out of your barn into the snow is what 1 should call a rather summary pro- ! ceedlng. Hiram Haymow—Waal, if you sit in that wet Bnow fer a little while you'll think it’s more wintry than summary!

A Food Crank.

Hla fad was eating toasted corn— On nothing else would dine; His funreal will be this morn. The hour, half-past nine. .. .

His Bystem.

*T suppose, senator,” said the beautiful girl, “you have succeeded In your political career by always being at the right place at the right time.' “Well, no,” the statesman replied. “1 am ra'ther inclined to attribute my success to the fact that I have generally been able to find out just a little before -they started which way my constituents were going."

Sacrificial.

Sweet Girl (affectionately)—Papa, you wouldn’t like me to leave j you. would you? { Papa (fondly)—indeed, 1 would not, my darling. Sweet Girl —Well, then I’ll marry Mr. Poorchap. He la willing to live here.

Not to Be Tied Down.

“Now that you have a baby Id your house, Mrs. Gadsby, I suppose you will have to give up traveling so much.** "Oh, no. We have a nurse who has promised to send me a night letter about the Uttie darling at least three times a week.”—Judge.

Welcoming a New Deal.

“I see that your trust Is oompelled to disband." “Yes,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax. “You seem very cheerful about 1L” "Of course. Our enterprise has never yet been readjusted without enabling some of us to take down a very comfortable profit.”

DIDN’T WANT HIS GUEST SHOCKED.

Walter —Qent ordered three boiled •ggs. end we’ve nothing In the house but this on* end it’s not very fresh, either. Landlord—Well, break it to him gently. John.

Let the Onion Alone!

An odorless onion Is In sight. This should cheer up the hearts of men; But there are men who have a huneh Their wives will turn to smrllc then. No Longer Starring. "Of course you are a firm believer In the Innate goodness of human nature?” “Oh, yes. Still, if rain had spoiled the coronation in London I don’t believe Queen Alexandra would have shed tears of vexation. At Sea. i “My husband Is particularly liable |to seasickness.’’ remarked the lady j passenger. “Could you tell him what 'to do in case of an attack.” “Tain’t necessary, mum.” replied the captain, “hell do It"—Mariner’s Advocate.

When Pride Took a Fill.

He had asked her father for her hand and been duly accepted. Naturally he was inclined to be jubilant, the girl being pretty and the father reputed, rich. u Oh, well," said the latter presently, as he carefully Inspected the clear Havana the youth handed him, “you needn’t be so unduly puffed up oyer it. You’re the sixteenth youngster I have accepted for a son-in-law this year and I expect two more tomorrow." ■ “Wh-hy, what does this mean?" stammered the youth. "It means," replied the shocking old poppy, “amusement tor the girl and cigars for me.”

Worthy of a Trial.

“Have you ever supported Booth?" asked the manager. :"No," replied the applicant, "I never saw Booth act” "How about McCullough?” "McCullough died before I-went upon the stage.” "Of course you were with Mansfield r “No, sir, I am sorry to say that Mansfield never bad a place for me In any of his companies.” "Hm. Have you ever been Mrs. Fiske's leading man?" "Not yet" * “I guess I’ll give you a chance. You may be able to learn something.”

Tricks of the Memory.

"Confound it all!” cried a broker, "I’ve forgotten my new telephone number. I didn't write it down because that’s an indication of mental weakness." "What about forgetting the number?" said the other man. "Isn’t that mental weakness, too? Is lt v the number of your home phone?” "Yes." “Then why not call up your wife and ask her what it is?” And without the slightest hesitation the forgetful man called up the forgotten number and asked his amazed wife what it was.

HARD ON HER CAKES.

Tramp—Say, lady, have you anothei flannel cake like the one you ?av« me yesterday? Kind Lady—Did y tu- like that om so much? Tramp—No’m, but I want to hail sole my other shoe.

One Kind.

Initials carved within a heart The decoration. And on the tree we thus behold Love’s conservation. —Judge.

The Unexpected Sneeze.

\ teacher was giving her small charges a lesson In politeness. “Now, when," said she, “should you say ’excuse me. please?”’ There was a moment’s silence. Then a very small boy put up hia hand. . "Well. Johnnie r “Please, ma’am, you should say excuse me, please,’ when you sneeze at th’ table an* don’t turn away your head bo quick enough."

Visionary Delicacies.

“Well, I’ve got to look after my tomatoes and string beans and things.” “You don’t expect to feed all your summer boarders out of that little garden, do you?” “Nope. I’ve got In my order for canned goods, as usual. That vegetable garden is Just a decoy.”

Troublesome Times.

"Wbjtt lg your father going to do for amusement, now that be has retired with a fortune?" “That la-what worries us. We’d like to get him interested in something, and would buy him a teat lq the senate If we 'could be sure nobody would try to stir up an annoying scandal.”

Will Not Require Much Time.

“After I am gone,” he complained, “people will begin to notice what I have done.” "Well,” his wife sadly replied, “if they do It won’t take them long.” " Under the Head of New Business. “Marla, what was done at the meeting of your literary clnb last night T’ "We lined Mrs. Chilllcon-Ke&rney $6 for accusing Mrs. Hlghmus of cheating at bridge.”

Preparing for a Career.

First Statesman—What makes yon think pur friend from Mexico has political ambitions f Second Statesman—He spends two hours a day in a shooting gallery. ,

Children’s Hats

NOTHING was ever quite so altogether “fit” and good for daily wear as the pretty little ruffled and starched sun-bonnets which the grandmothers of today wore in their childhood. Made of -washable ginghams and chambrays, more or less ruffled and embroidered, they constituted a part of every girl’s wardrobe. An assortment of tw3 or three did service for a summer, were consigned to the tub when soiled and emerging from their laundering fresh, delightful and as good as new. But for koine reason, or lack of reason, people of the towns and cities gradually discarded the sunbonnet and substituted for it straw hats, more or less practical. Recently favor has started back to the washable article and as a compromise the washable hat has been steadily growing in popularity. In the meantime childrens’ hats for dally wear are made of a number of durable straws In the lovely natural straw colors, in white and in all colors. The best-liked, with very good reasons, are the' rough glace straws in natural color. These stand a vast amount of wear and a certain amount of rough handling. There are Milans for those who are willing to pay the price, the coarse

TO CLEAN THE STRAW HAT

Mixture That Will Restore Natural Color After the Bun Has Bleached Head Covering. To restore the natural straw color of a hat, clean with a paste of lemon juice and sulphur and cream of tartar. First brush the hat thoroughly with this mixture and then rinse off with clean water and press. Sailor hats are beautifully cleaned in this way. Wash white straw with oxalic acid which haß been diluted with yfkter. A leghorn hat can be cleaned with water or acid-dampened cornmeal. Brush it lightly and place it over burning sulphur to bleach the straw. The sulphur may be burned in a can in the bottom of a barrel and the hat may be suspended at the top, where it will not scorch. One can freshen a colored straw hat with dyes or water color paints diluted in gasoline. If properly applied to a hat, these dyes will give the desired color. When a hat cannot be given its original color, it can be dyed black, and black Is always practical. If your black hat is a little worse for wear and the crown has become somewhat loppy through acquaintance with the spring rains, renovate it by dampening the crown with a cloth moistened with water and then press it dry with a warm iron. Cover the crown with lilacs, with a pink rose peeping out every now and then. The effect is very artistic, and this method of trimming la fashionable as well as handy in concealing the limp side crown.

Lacs Mitts Are Worn.

Laoe mitts continue to be kept at iglove- counters and to find buyers. They range In price from a dollar or so to almost anything, according to quality of the lace. And it Is the highest priced ones that art taking with the shoppers. The mitts are worn on hot nights for dinners and for dances and they are' sometimes seen in fashionable afternoon turnouts with rich costumes. Mitts never go quite out of use, though little is seen of them on the city street and In public places. Still, the woman who would have her comfortable and at the same e make a pretense of covering them can always resort to mitts.

New Veil.

Ton can keep a new veil from stretching by threading the sewing machine with silk of the same color and stitching carefully along each edge. The stitching will not show and the veil will remain always In good condition.

BY JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

“mountain leghorns” for those that are looking for cheaper hats and great numbers of canvas weaves, pretty and inexpensive, that will last out the season with some care. The rough straws are trimmed with ribbon or silk arranged in .the simplest of drapes and rosettes. Milans are finished with velvet ribbon as a rule and the canvas hats or those of smoothly woven straw are finished with a plajp fold of silk or band of narrow ribbon about the crown and a rosette of fancy silk or straw braid at the side. A pretty quill or two is often added. In all of these hats the crowns are large enough to fit quite comfortable on the head.. Brims nearly all droop, even though there be an upward roll toward the brim-edge. They are kept on the head by an elastic band which passes under the hair. Flowers or any fragile trimmings are out of place on sucb hats. Only the simplest and most durable of decorations are to be considered. Excellent examples of such millinery art pictured here, but (with apologies to milliners and to manufacturers), they do not equal the dear, old-fashioned sun-bonnet in adaptation to their use nor even in charm. Nevertheless they are attractive and good.

This useful little garment can be made in many different materials, sucb as zepbyr, linen or* serge; it is cut Magyar and bas buttons sewn down front, some of these form fastening, others Just trimming; striped material is used for the collar, cuffs, waistband, and to edge skirt. Materials required: I*4 yard 40 Inches wldO, X yard striped material.

As you pack your bag or suitcase keep an account of the articles you take with you. This will help you In many ways. When you start for home you will know whether or not you have lost or mislaid anything. And should the baggage miscarry or gat lost or damaged In any way a list of your belongings will be most helpful in settling matters. But don't, when you have made it, do as one girl did-—pack It away In the trunk.

A skirt may be finished In much the same manner as a man's trousers. If the binding braid be stitched in the bottom in the usual way. Put in a strip of mending tissue the width of the braid when turning It up to baste and press with a hot iron. The braid should be fastened at each seam and the effect will be by ter neater than that obtained by the old method.

TUNIC FOR SMALL BOY

An Idea for Packing.

The Hem of a Skirt.

TALES OF GOTHAM AND OTHER CITIES

Dies While Posing for Picture Films

NEW YORK. —A moving picture machine set up to make a film of the rescue of a young woman from the waters of a lake In the other day recorded Instead the drowning of the actor-rescuer and the saving of the actress by hetlfglf. The actor drowned was Albert Brighton. The play which ended In t£e tragedy took place at Brady’s pond. Grassmere. The pond has an area of about six acres. Mary Murray, an actress, rowed out twenty-live feet or so from the shore. The young woman, in a fluffy white dress and alone In the boat, was to pick water lilies, and, in reaching too far for one of the flowers, was to upset the boat and be rescued. The picture machine was started, and Miss Murray picked several of the flowers. Then, at a signal from the operator, she leaned far over the

Army Convicts Building Model Prison

Fort Leavenworth, kan.— Work on what is intended to be the largest and finest military prison In the world —an Institution which the war department plans to make a model for all future penal establishments—has been begun here, to replace the prison built In 1877. The cost of the new prison is estimated at only $643,000, but the completed structure will be the equal of $3,000,000 buildings erected by contract. This saving of more than $2,000,000 will be represented by the work done by convicts, the material manufactured In the prison, and the parts of the old prison utilized in the new. The entire work, It is expected, will be completed by January 1, 1914. By the end of next year, however, a large part of the new prison will be; occupied. When the new prison is completed it will have accommodations for 2,182 convicts, and each will have a large cell to himself, fitted with every modern convenience. The cell houses are to be built on the radial plan, each tier of cells radiating from a central rotunda, from which the watch officer can, by merely turning his head, see the entire frontage. Military prisoners differ greatly* from convicts in civil penitentiaries in that most of them are under sentence

Sun Victim Spends Summers in Cave

KANSAS CITY, Kan.—Alone in an underground cave, studying the Bible and occasionally painting a little in oil, H. H. James of this city, sixty-five years old, passes the hot summer months, afraid to come out into the sunlight. He knows that the blistering rays of the sun will cause his death If he is exposed to them. ' James suffered a sunstroke while at work in a wheat field near Ottawa, Kan., 27 years ago. The prostration was so severe that for weeks it was thought he could not recover. He finally recovered, but doctors told him that exposure to the hot sun would aggravate his case and probably kill him. James resolved to keep out of the sun, and for 26 summers he has escaped the sweltering beat that other persons in Kansas have undergone. James had saved a little money. He

Servant in One Family for Fifty Years

CHICAGO. —Fifty years In the 'employ of one woman, whom she has served with rare Intelligence, eagerness and devoted loyalty, Is the wonderful record established by Miss Barbara Ritter, who has worked the half century for Mrs. Samuel Faulkner, 4746 Madison avenue. While thousands of women in Chicago have changed servants at ..the rate of ten a year, Mrs. Faulkner not only has retained the Invaluable assistance of her helper, but has won her stanch fealty for herself nnd her family. Miss Ritter, known as "Barbie” to the hundreds of friends of the Faulkner family and as famous among th**m for her personality as for her ginger cookies, has been Mrs. Faulkner's first lieutenant in the raising of the Faulkner family of eight children. Miss Ritter entered Mrs. Faulkner’s service fifty years ago as a nursemaid for the one little Faulkner of that time. Bhe was tireless, she liked work, she looked for work and she accomplished work faster than two other ordinary maids could have •one It. And all the time she was

gunwale and stretched her hand to* ward another of the lilies. As she put her weight on the side of the boat it tipped and went over, throwing her Into the water. It was part of the play that the girl should scrdhm for help andtfarbw up her hands to attract the attention of Brighton, who was strolling' along the shore of the pond In immaculate summer flannel. When the girl screamed Brighton threw off his straw hat and his coat and dived Into the water. The young woman in the water continued her acting of the helpless drowning girl. The actor splashed toward her, apparently half swimming and half wading. Then he began to shout for help as if appealing to> those on shore to come to his assistance in rescuing the girl. As he shouted he disappeared and then reappeared and shouted again. The others of the company made no move, thinking that he had taken » notion to Impart an additional appear- 1 anoe of reality to the act. So for; a few seconds the film ran on, but 1 the rescuer sank and did not reappear. Then Miss Murray swam ashore herself and Brighton’s body was afterwards found.

for what In civil life would merit merely discharge from their employment. Most of the prisoners are under sentence for desertion or disobedience of orders, and many of them voluntarily surrender for punishment. As a rule they average higher in the seals of manhood and intelligence than civil convicts and, accordingly, will receive better treatment In the old prison there are now nearly 800 men, and many of them live two in a cell. In the new prison it is doubtful whether all of cells ever will be occupied, unless the; army should be increased greatly. The men now convicts are erecting the new buildings, burning the lime, making cement blocks, cvttlag and sawing timber, fitting the plumbing, erecting the steely in fact, doing practically every part of the work under civilian foremen. Practically all material entering into the construction of the new prison buildings' is being made by convicts.

came to Kansas City, Kan., about fifteen years ago and one of the first Improvements he made at his home place was a summer cave. The cave resembles a cyclone cellar. It is a large excavation In the yard at the rear of his home. Grass has grown ovjer the cave for many years and one must look elosely to discover ft. The entrance to the cave is a door like that oh an outside cellar and steps lead to the Interior of the cave at one end. The temperature In the cave never gets above 60 or 66 and day after day, when everyone around him is suffering with*the heat, James reposes on a cot, reads his Bible, to which he devotes most of the time, or paints pictures. Mrs. James and children Hve In the house. Mrs. James prepares the meals and the children carry them to their father, and on hot afternoons the entire family gatltqrs In the cave to escape the heat, ahd - neighbors also drop in often. On cool nights James leaves the cave and walks about the neighbor* hood or visits his own home, but the approach of sunrise is the signal for him to hasten to the retreat During the winter James worts as a laborer.

happy in fts accomplishment For several years the Faulkners have been trying to retire “Barbie” from active work. But she retains the same energy that has always dominated her work and she refuses to be retired. The Faulkners are going to celebrate “Barbie’s" fiftieth anniversary of her coming to them, although she herself declares she cannot see why the event should be celebrated, since It was so natural that she should stay. But some hundreds of society worn* en and prominent professional and business men in Chicago, whose childhood recollections are indissolubly connected with memories of the Faulkners' “Barbie.” will aid the family tat giving tribute to Miss Ritter’s affem tlon and loyalty. « 11 i . i.A TOfillirtml