Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 166, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 July 1911 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

In the cbm of a hoc wave It is pleaaant to speed the parting guest To be certain at finding buried treasure. dig In your vegetable garden. Th* pistol in the house generally gets somebody Into trouble sooner or )&tcr. Fathers, teach your boys how to Swim—ls you have to learn first your ■■—■■■— ■■ Persons who don! like to have their MNtohb taken usually show it In the 1 ' . A large per cent of the marriages turn out happier than the gossips Imagine they win. There’s another advantage that aocrues to a highbrow—his straw hat stays on in a gale. . MMaaaaaHßMHaaßaaaßßaawaßMmMaßaa'* The pitch for tuning pianos' has been increased from 485 to 488 vibrations. More misery. Porch sleeping Is regaining popularity. It is all right until the early milk man begins to arrive. One mad dog can' cause more ex- < citment in a community than a thousand that are safe and sane. Likewise, we are advised to swat the tussock moth. Of course we alt know what a tussock moth is. An Atlanta man has been ordered by the court to kiss his wife at least once a day. Serves him right An Indiana minister died from the effects of being bitten by a catfish. Let's have the catfish muzzled. Few people enjoy a run on a bank, but a run on the bank of a swimmln* bole is a popular pastime these days. Before going too far let us reflect upon the fact that abolishing war would soon leave us without colonels. “Most Americans eat too much,” opines a New York physician. Likewise. some physicians talk too much. New York contemplates having Its policemen wear Red Cross badges. Better make them double-cross badges Even the old oaken bucket is under the ban these days. Health is worth a whole lot more than sentiment One way to keep cool and at the same time mirthful is to Bp down into the basemen' and look at the furnace. . Some married men don’t seem to accomplish any more now than they did when women wore 22 buttons down the back. Vassar college announces its fiftieth birthday, but none of the graduates admit that they were in at tho beginning. - A Chicago woman, suing for divorce, says that she won her husband on a bet And now she’s trying to welch on the deal. "Overwork." says a physician, “is the curse of the day." True, but what is a man going to do when he needs the money? The big cotton crop is likely to help make woolen goods cheaper by lowering the price of cotton to mix with .the “all-wool” fabrics. Mirrors installed In street car platforms. Instead of inducing women to alight properly, might prevent them from alighting at all. It is now claimed that Ananias died of heart failure. Somebody probably told him about the club that was to be named in his honor. A Chicago clergyman declares that the tree is man’s best friend. It Is certainly a great convenience In a field where there is a cross bulk And apropos of the present situation, not even the most experienced weather sharps can predict accurately how the lightning is going to strike. The clergyman who claims that Ananias died of heart failure and not of prevarication will probably tell us that Baron Munchausen was an honest man. S A Cleveland woman was cured by a surgical operation of an abnormal desire to play the plana Other persistent piano players should consult specialists W U It la stated that Boston is to have a hospital for the rich. Still, the man of sense, whether rich or poor, would prefer to stay outside of even the most elided of hospitals. — Two-mtllion trees hare been planted in Kansas this year. Good When Kansas gets a sufficient number of shade rre«s it may become easier for